I posted this on /adv/ but I figured I would post here too since it's kind of related tot he topic of body, fitness and muscles. (I hope this is not against the rules or something).
I don't know how I feel about my body... Any thing to help me elaborate my feelings?
Before you guys say it, yeah yeah Op is a literal homosexual, yadda yadda, can we move past that and focus on the issue? Thanks.
Anyway, I'm bi, yeah gross I know, I'm considered handsome by most, I have no issue getting girls, I have an active social and sex life.
Issue is I recently realized I find guys attractive too, it's different compared to girls tho.
Any girl will do for me, chubby girls, tall girls, short girls, muscle girls all look beautiful in a way to me.
Guys? No way. Only conventionally attractive guy, model type guys, hunks and bodybuilder attract me (Strong man type guys too but I never meet one irl).
Issue is I'm not sure what I feel towards guys is genuine, sometimes I feel like is not that I want to be with that but is that I dig their body so much I wish I had their body, so it's not that I want to be with them I want to BE THEM.
But at the same time, I'm ambivalent, because I like being lean and not as big too, most people I fricked said they liked me for my "Boyish looks" and I'm not willing to lose my biggest asset and become big, besides the ideia of me, a smaller guy, fricking or dominating a huge guy really tuns me on, this David Goliath dynamic is really hot to me so I don't want to lose it at the same time I feel I want to be a big bodybuilder.
So I don't know what do or how to feel about all this.
Any advice on how to deal with all these conflicting emotions? That is not a bullet to my head yada yada yada...
Unironically, try to go fish for a good therapist. They'll probably be able to help you more than 99.9% of this board
Oh yeah, also, to me it just seems like you are pretty much straight but somehow acquired a muscle man fetish. So try soul searching if there is some merit in this or not.
Finding a good therapist is hard tho, and I barely have time for my activities as it stands, but maybe you are right.
Maybe, sometimes it does feels like a fetish since it's only those types of guys and nothing else... But at what point a fetish starts being a sexuality and a sexuality is a fetish? I don't know... I know many straight guys who are very picky about the girls they date/frick I'm often seen as weird for just liking girls, no particular preferences.
Dang... I hoped these feelings didn't sound as creepy and weird as they do... Deep down I hoped it was kind of a normal thing actually.
Well, I don't think I have any serial killer vibes going on. Can't even kill flies.
>can't even kill flies
T.
I don't know who this is...
But anyway, I don't want to kill anyone Hahahaha, just have sex with them... And sometimes I think "Damn... I wonder how does it feel to be that big" is this really so strange?
Do you guys really not feel that?
Hun...
The "I wonder how does it feel to be like that" part not the "want to have sex with that" part, the second one I know you guys feel!
hahahaha
> I know many straight guys who are very picky about the girls they date/frick I'm often seen as weird for just liking girls, no particular preferences.
I mean, I'm one of those picky guys, but I feel like I'm the odd one out when I see a lot of normies are willing to frick just about anything.
>I wish I had their body, so it's not that I want to be with them I want to BE THEM.
I think it's kinda normal to want to be aesthetic like a particular person you find attractive. For instance, whenever I see an aesthetic physique that I like (be it a fictional drawing or a real person), it insipires me to work harder, but I don't have any sexual feelings towards them.
I wanna know tho, how did these sexual feelings come about?
>I mean, I'm one of those picky guys, but I feel like I'm the odd one out when I see a lot of normies are willing to frick just about anything.
Hun... Weird... Maybe it's just a region thing?
>I wanna know tho, how did these sexual feelings come about?
I don't know, I just kind of want to touch them you know? Their pecs, shoulders, arms.
To hold them down and to have this like "fight" for dominance, I often wrestle with the guys I go out with and it's a fun dynamic.
It's nice to hug and be hugged by a mass of muscle specially if the guy is taller and bigger than you, and I dunno it feels nice.
It's not very feminine is like... Kind of very masculine in a way, we joke, these, arm wrestle, real wrestle, hug, kiss, look at each other with desire.
that's a big thing too! The way a girl look at your body, even if she is into muscles is different than a muscular who is into muscle,s the way they touch you is different too, it's much more intense and sexual.
Going out with girls is intense too! And fun too! But with guys is different a different kind of intensity.
Hahahahaha why do I sound like such a homosexual HAhahaha.
But it's true tho, and it's fun.
>I don't know
When did these feelings first arise or when/how were you first made cognizant of them
>Hahahahaha why do I sound like such a homosexual HAhahaha.
Lmao, I guess people just like what they like.
Honestly, I don't know what would be helpful for you, but I guess asking you questions might elucidate something. So I guess I'll ask this. Are you bothered with the fact that you have these thoughts? I'm asking if you think this is a problem that needs to be solved? Is it okay for you if there is no resolution. And also, random thought, maybe take a coin, and decide that heads means you're definitely gay/bi, and tails means you're straight and aren't ever gonna have sex or sexual interactions with men. When you flip that coin, before the coin lands, you might find that in your heart you know what you want the answer to be. (I'm not sure which conditions to put on the head/tails, but I find this is a good game to play in general when you're not sure of your feelings)
>When did these feelings first arise or when/how were you first made cognizant of them
Around puberty, I noticed that I looked lustfully at girls (not always real girls sometimes tv show girls and cartoon girls) but I also looked at guys (not real guys just tv guys and cartoon guys).
I started working out and sports and just got really deep into anatomy and muscles, some friends did it to, but I noticed the intensity I liked and looked at that stuff was different, soon I got my first boner (I think it was for esmeralda from the Hunchback cartoon) and later on my first guy boner (It was the Hercules guy from th Hercules show).
>Are you bothered with the fact that you have these thoughts?
It bothers me a little that I know there are expectations upon me if someone find out about this, that I'm less manly or that I do anal and they are not true.
I also dislike the fact that as I said I'm not sure if it's really a desire to be with the guy or just an extreme admiration and curiosity. I feel it's a bit of both but it should be one.
>if you think this is a problem that needs to be solved
I guess I wish it didn't felt so confusing, i wish i just liked dudes, or just liked miring dudes, not this weird mix of the two.
I guess it's not a problem or issue itself, just unfortunate and could be like... Easier.
>coin flip
I feel I'm comfortable seeing myself as bi this is just an adjacent issue.
My main issue and it kind of related to my taste for dudes is that I don't know what I really want to look like.
I like huge dudes, and I am a dude, so I could in theory get huge too, but at same time I like not being huge... So I don't really know what i like and me being able to an object of my desire is confusing me I guess.
I remember a time when I was younger, before all this trans nonsense was so loud and problematic, guys used to joke that if they found a magical wand that gave boobs they would totally use on themselves...
>they would totally use on themselves...
Imagine that having the object of your desire right there for you to touch and use and look as much as you want.
They meant as a joke of course, but the ideia was that, if I could be a hot chick I wouldn't need to date a hot chick, something along those lines...
And since huge muscular guys are the object of my desire and I'm guy I'm in this weird position where I could literally do that...
But at the same time I feel like I want, I feel like I don't want, I want to experience that which I like in other people not on me... But the ideia is there, and it kind of makes you wonder how it feels and all that.
I dunno it's confusing Hahahahaha and it's the mains source of my... Discomfort?
Not the fact if I'm gay or bi or straight. That shit I don't care as much.
Yeah, this is all definitely a toughie, it's definitely something that's too tough for 4chongers to untangle. I think you should definitely try to find a therapist at some point. I'm pretty sure you can have an arrangement where you see them like only once a week, or even once every 2 weeks. I think that might be manageable even if you don't have too much free time. However, if you do, definitely talk about other issues while fishing for a therapist, and then when you feel like you found one who's approach fits you, then you can reveal this problem and ask them to help you work through it. I know it's daunting and scary and it's easy to find an excuse, but you'll probably end ups being thankful that you went out and found a good therapist. Sorry I couldn't help more. good luck anon, hope you resolve the issues that are bothering you and find the answers you are looking for.
Yeah that's a good ideia, thanks for the advice anon!
You have been very nice, I think just talking about this stuff has been of some help somewhat.
Thanks, Godspeed!
>Issue is I'm not sure what I feel towards guys is genuine, sometimes I feel like is not that I want to be with that but is that I dig their body so much I wish I had their body, so it's not that I want to be with them I want to BE THEM.
This how cannibalistic serial killers start out
Yeah, bisexuals are legit sociopaths
are you memeing or ?
Can't really identify w that. I don't find any guys to be sexually attractive.
I obviously mire a dude who's shredded because that's what I'm trying to do.
but also let's be real... a butt is a butt.
Ironically I'm not much of a butt guy.
I much prefer chest.
Mine are not that big...
But both in girls and guys, breasts and pecs are what I like the most.
On muscles I also like shoulders, back and legs.
Arms are ok.
Six packs are overrated.
At least to me.
I mean a butt is a butt in the sense that plenty of guys are down to do anal with a girl. It's literally the same body part if you want to be autistic.
And honestly if you were just intent on busting a nut, you could do it in 5 minutes on grindr vs much longer on tindr
You're literally just confused and this phase will resolve itself when you have a healthier relationship with women and yourself. Just don't do anything stupid and embarrassing like tell people about it or try something with a dude. Relax.
>when you have a healthier relationship with women and yourself
What you mean?
>Just don't do anything stupid and embarrassing like tell people about it or try something with a dude
Oh I would never do that, don't worry.
>Oh I would never do that, don't worry.
If it's not something you plan on acting upon, then my guess is it's technically not a problem. It's not like you're repressing anything. You are aware of your thoughts, but aren't actually interested in going for gay sex. Seems just like any other rational choice. However if it does bother you that much, a therapist or something would most likely help you resolve your issue, but if the therapist is a moron, they might also exacerbate whatever you think is a problem.
>but aren't actually interested in going for gay sex
I actually go out with guys, I just don't talk about it since.. it's nobody business.
Therapy is hard because I have very little time and it's hard to find a good one these days.