>I gave all my games and consoles away
>I wiped my pc and will only use it to be productive
>I just got a decent starter homegym
>I got a bunch of Test E vials I may or may not use
>threw out my alcohol and haven't drank in a week for the first time in 2 years
>cook all my meals
When does the good life start? Anything I do I become addicted. Porn, games, YouTube, alcohol etc. It has to be all or nothing.
Aside from lifting 2 hours a day every day and working 50 hours a week, what am I to do with my life. No friends or family.
Life never gets better. It just jgets less worse at times. Total abstinence from the thing you enjoy (as long as they're non destructive) will only take from you. Learn to live in balance and moderation. That's true strength.
>he fell for the body building meme
>lift until someone loves me
>look like a Greek statue come to life
>they will find my muscular corpse stretched out like a reclining statue from the Louvre
…worth it
>Anything I do I become addicted. Porn, games, YouTube, alcohol etc. It has to be all or nothing.
Idk, maybe talk to a doctor about your manic depressive disorder?
Btw here's an example of a crab:
The first one , implying most people don't watch youtube porn or drink alcohol regularly and that THAT is the reason why OP is alone. OP's life is empty because he doesn't fricking go out and thus all those things are ALL he currently has to pass the time.
Almost all men WHO GET LAID watch porn, youtube and drink every week. These "vices" aren't the problem, the problem is the LACK of actions that will solve OP's problem (loneliness and lack of purpose).
Also, if OP followed the crab's advice, his doctor would most likely put him on SSRIs, which absolutely frick with people's minds and libidos, thus only making things worse instead of better.
What OP needs is to STOP BEING LAZY AND DIRECTIONLESS and make a fricking plan for his life for the next couple years and work on it.
> make a plan for his life
Black person NTA but what would this include? I'm in the same boat, my life is shit. But I've spend like 2 months autistically creating plans and I still feel shit and lonely. I have a purpose, but I can't function because I feel like fricking shit all the time
The first thing you have to ask yourself is:
>my life is shit
"WHY is your life shit?"
and
"HOW would a good life (for YOU) would look like?"
It doesn't have to necessarily be your particular case, but most men for example want to have or keep a certain degree of economic independence or in other words: A job that they either like or can tolerate long term that pays enough and is stable so they can have some level of financial security in their lives, and some level of freedom/maneuverability if they later want to pivot to doing something that require a considerable amount of money, or because they want to indulge in some expensive things without the fear of being unable to make ends meet.
Tl;dr: The first step for basically any man is to get work skills or an education either WHILE they're currently working, or as full-time students if they're young and can afford not to not work until they get the first half of a degree or getting the most important part of their skills and certifications (in case of opting for a trade school).
WITHOUT A STEADY FLOW OF MONEY A MAN CAN'T DO MUCH, so it's imperative that you start LOOKING for jobs or types of job/economic activities that will eventually give you this.
My life is shit because my conscience eats me constantly alive, I did some dumb shit in my past and that drags me down. You sound wise. I will not tell you what it is but I will ask you for help.
My life isn't actually shit, it just feels like shit. I am an uni student doing wageslaving part time for 12h a week, I am actually pretty smart and well off in the looks department and I feel like I should do so much better right now. There is a lot of unused potential that needs to be realized, but I feel terribly drained when I try to start and realize this potential.
Let's take getting a schedule for example, right now I live day in and out at random. Whenever I try to fix it, I get tired and revert back to my old ways which are being more passive, chilling a lot and eating junk food.
(Cont)
>There is a lot of unused potential that needs to be realized, but I feel terribly drained when I try to start and realize this potential.
Don't worry about that right now. Overthinking about "unused potential" is detrimental as it can create more stress than anything else.
Instead, start small and adress your CURRENT ISSUE before needlessly punishing yourself:
>Let's take getting a schedule for example, right now I live day in and out at random. Whenever I try to fix it, I get tired and revert back to my old ways which are being more passive, chilling a lot and eating junk food.
WILLPOWER IS LIKE A MUSCLE, you cannot depend solely on it as it tires out after a while.
The way to fix your inconsistency in sticking to your planned schedule is by making the important things of your schedule HABITS. See
And as for fast food, yes, you should and can learn to eat better and leave that as an occasional treat for a couple times a month while you keep a more or less strict diet that serves your needs.
If sticking to CICO is too much for you right now start by not buying food you know you don't need to eat a lot (E.g. If you don't have snacks in your pantry it's much easier to not indulge, as doing so would require to go to the store).
Also, a very important aspect for this: LEARN TO COOK and make the habit of cooking for yourself if you live with fat or obese relatives or something like that. And finally, EXPECT said fat or obese relatives or friends to UNCONSCIOUSLY try to boycott your weight loss: in most cases it's NOT intentional or ill willed, it's just how MOST PEOPLE react to one of their peers making a significant change in their behavior that subconsciously force their minds to look themselves in the mirror.
Sticking to a diet is a lot EASIER when you're doing most of the cooking for yourself. Note: If you live with other people, you could try to convince them to follow a diet along, but in most of the cases that doesn't work
(Cont)
Instead, try to LEAD BY EXAMPLE.
At first most of your relative or roommates will adamantly resist the fact you're sticking to a diet (most likely in an un/subconscious manner), but IF you stick to it and make CONSISTENT PROGRESS, chances are some of them MIGHT start to follow your example, or at least be MORE CONSCIOUS themselves about what they eat and thus at least attempt to eat better.
And finally: drink alcohol with moderation and only when a social situation merits it, as drinking alcohol makes losing fat harder.
Anyway, I really have to go now. For anyone else, please read the entire thread and follow or at least consider what I've adviced. While there're no guarantees in life, those who put the effort in and try to make better decisions have a better probability to obtain better results than otherwise.
WAGMI hopefully, so don't lose hope and take action to improve your own life.
The second step is, looking into yourself/thinking about what are the THINGS and KIND OF PEOPLE you WOULD LIKE to have in your life.
And from that, you can DEFINE GOALS that will most likely make easier or more likely that you will get them.
Typical example:
>"I would like to have a gf"
Perfectly fine. Now you would have to ask yourself the following
>"Can I EASILY get one, with my current living situation?"
If the answer is YES: "Can I keep get around for more than 6 months?"
If the answer is NO: "What would be the things that would HELP me increasing my value as a man in order to retain a gf for longer (assuming without her cheating)?"
Then you have to think further and take a very good look at the mirror and start READING about the topic. I personally recommend Rollo Tomassi's "The Rational Male" first two books, and Rian Stone's "Praxeology Volume 1: Frame". Hint: They're NOT pua shit but actual advice about how to view women and yourself and (with Rian's book) how to ACT in such a way you're better positioned so you're more attractive and less unnatractive to women and people in general, which the book describes in AUTISTIC DETAIL from how to dress, how to groom your body, style your hair, etc.
Also, a very COMMON reason why men have a hard time retaining a gf is because THEY'RE LIVING WITH THEIR PARENTS.
If you want to have lasting relationships with women you should live alone, even if it's on a shitty studio appartment (And I'm NOT saying you should cohabitate with your gf, in fact that's a bad idea unless you're seriously thinking of creating a family with her soon), mainly to satisfy your intimacy needs without having to spend a lot of money on hotels. That said, UNTIL you can afford to live by your own, go to hotels with women if you can't go to her place.
And the third (or alternative second) step, is to MAKE FRIENDS with people you know IRL and that you both get along and you can SEE they'll help you as you improve your own life.
You have to be discriminating when allowing WHO gets in your life, least you end with a bucket of crabs/loser friends getting envious of your improvement.
And finally, there're TWO CONCEPTS which are super important and are NOT THE SAME:
Your PURPOSE != the MEANING of your life.
You PURPOSE is the thing or things that you do to get or have your place in the world. Namely, Your purpose is a JOB or ECONOMIC ACTIVITY that you could enjoy or at least easily tolerate long term that allows you have the life you want to have. Your first jobs are most likely not going to be your PURPOSE, but they might be necessary to perform first in order to get enough work experience and more importantly MONEY so you can LATER pivot to a job or business that does it for you.
While your MEANING is the things or things that give you a lot of PERSONAL CONTENTMENT (as "happiness" is a fleeting emotion and thus cannot be consistently substained without ups and downs) IN LIFE. Namely, these are your HOBBIES and other activities that make life worth living for you. Ideally your meaning DOESN'T depend on other people's approval, but for some people that's unavoidable (E.g. those whose meaning in life is having their own family).
Anyway, I have shit to do so I hope these posts might have given you and OP and anyone else in a similar predicament some clue on what to do.
Gotta go, bye.
For more details just read Rian Stone's "Praxeology volume 1: Frame" for more details. Buy it, pirate it, it doesn't matter as long as you give it a read it.
P.S. Rian Stone is a youtuber and book author, not a pua grifter. However his yt channel is not entirely useful.
The important and useful videos you can see in Rian's YT channel are the ones in this playlist
Also IGNORE his collabs videos with anyone that isn't Rollo Tomassi on a two person stream, as most of his yt pals ARE grifters and literally just parrot Tomassi's works.
The most important part thought is on his second book: Praxeology.
He wrote a first book (called "Fuccfiles") that isn't really useful, althought entertaining. You can ignore it.
Also, read "How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carneggie if you have difficulty making friends or talking to people in general.
They're the training wheels of basic socialization.
And as for building HABITS, read "The Power of Habits" or "Atomic Habits". Either of these work.
The Power of Habit*
The second one
not adding anything of value and ignoring OP's obvious problems, which are not lack of hobbies precisely but his LACK OF PURPOSE and not having friends or his own family (yet).
And the third one
trying to bring him down by stating he will fail, instead of the benefit of the doubt. OP needs to BELIEVE IN HIMSELF just enough he'll take action, even if going cold turkey would seem excessive at first glance.
Also, YES. Dropping all your addictions at once is better than alternating them, since the root of addiction is the same: DOPAMINE. It doesn't matter if OP gets his dopamine fix from one vice at a time. The point is for him to develop HABITS that will redirect his brain's dopamine addiction towards DOING SHIT THAT WILL SOLVE HIS PROBLEM (E.g. OP should develop the habit of talking to people IRL and going out) instead of having juggle different things that won't.
I appreciate the input. I want a smart and cute woman to birth and stay at home to raise my children. I'm working toward that goal even tho I can't read for more than a minute before being distracted. I'm decently well off and successful for a guy that dropped out at 16, 29 now $60kyr. I'm actually fiercely energetic at work and lead a drug manufacturing department, when I come home it's a different story but I'm changing that.
You seem to be going in the right direction already. I'd advice considering if you can also increase your skills and certifications further so you can later pivot to creating your own business or have an easier time changing jobs in the future if you feel like it.
>My life is shit because my conscience eats me constantly alive, I did some dumb shit in my past and that drags me down.
I'm going to be absolutely blunt: The past is the past.
If you CAN do something to make amends with the people I assume you fricked over in SOME way that doesn't land you in a worse place (I.e. If you stole something of course don't confess or you're going to have a very bad time and revenge doesn't satisfy anyone for long) then think about doing it.
If making amends is not possible (or wise) then INSTEAD, try to FROM NOW ON live an HONEST LIFE, not screwing up other people (unless in self-defense obviously).
>I am an uni student doing wageslaving part time for 12h a week, I am actually pretty smart and well off in the looks department and I feel like I should do so much better right now.
12h a week of work isn't ideal, but for a uni student could be BETTER than working more hours per week. You have to ANALIZE if you're really giving it your all in uni in such a way that it would be better to keep working 12h weeks, or if it would serve your interests better to work more while you study. This REALLY depends on how hard or easy is your career path. I.e. If you're studying for a hard (but very profitable in the future) degree maybe it's rationally better to NOT work longer hours and instead aim to excel at your studies, as it could prove more productive in the long run. But if you evaluate you currently have enough free time (you're not using for study or anything else useful) that you could redirect to something better (be it more work hours or doing SOMETHING ELSE i.e. socializing, getting a social hobby or learning to play an instrument etc) then do that.
Find a hobby, jeez.
You're a moron for dropping your hobbies. Hobbies and recreational things unrelated to women or that don't require other people's approval are necessary so you don't become starved for validation and thus look desperate for attention and lame.
Life becomes better after you start socializing and specially after working out shows results in your body i.e. when you're no longer fat or too skinny.
But here's the catch: you have go outside at night or the evening and meet new people, otherwise looking better has literally no purpose.
Also ignore most of IST posts trying to keep you down, most lurkers are like crabs in a bucket.
Demoralizers are likely just lazy homosexuals who want to see motivated people fail so they don't feel bad about their lack of willpower and discipline.
Unnironically go touch grass, and drink (with moderation) if socially expedient. Women want good looking men who're also entertaining.
Also, don't use gear unless you're old and have ALREADY BEEN lifting consistently for years using a good routine with decent form.
Roids will make you addicted because you'll have to keep doing cycles in order to maintain an UNNATURAL amount of muscle and test in your body. And on top of that continued roid use will 100% decrease your natural test production level, ensuring you keep taking them so your body doesn't end up looking WORSE than before frauding. If you choose to hop on gear, do it only after you've already peaked your natural fitness (or have gotten close to it) by lifting and eating right for long.
Plus, most women don't prefer bodybuilder physiques over the (naturally achievable) just fit and ottermode bodies. So if you're doing this for women don't even THINK of roiding unless your target are trashy club prostitutes with several thousands miles of wieners run thru all their holes.
Imagine fricking up your health to have sex with gutter trash you could literally frick paying a few hundred dollars instead.
I blame Zyzz workshippers for overinflating the value of club prostitutes.
Make friends and/or start a family
anon the real redpill is that you have to (mostly) bluepill yourself to be happy, which comes from having good relationships with others and not visiting this forum
Not OP but I disagree. Being delusionally optimistic about human nature (bluepilled) isn't a requirement to enjoy life, and in fact it can push you to make very bad decisions (like marrying the first woman who touches your dick for a 6 months period).
Being moderately cynical has its advantages and allows you take better decisions and calculated risks.
E.g. If some of your friends are losers and try to keep you down in their own level of mediocrity and permanently refuse to improve their situation with you then it's better to pay them less attention so you don't waste time trying to convert terminal lazy morons that will never even try to do anything worthwhile.
E.g. Don't hope for life to magically get better. Hope isn't a strategy. You have to make a life plan with achievable goals and work on them consistently to get shit done.
Even if getting dumped/cheated on/divorced/and what not is unavoidable, in what position would you rather be when/if that happens?
Working the same barely middle-class job as you're now, or having a much better paying job or a business that will allow you to EASILY AFFORD such events? Would you rather have a "dadbod" or be lean and muscular when it happens? These are questions any man should ask himself, rather than trying to pretend reality's sometimes cruel nature.
Not to mention your own social savviness/social experience dealing with people (not only women) in informal and semi-formal social settings and situations.
Avoiding to socialize has many hidden costs and does and will make you screw many future opportunities, and not just women related.
You would/will find a lot easier to do what
said if you talk more to people and learn to be more social. It's useful even to keep (good, worthwhile) friends around.
Cuck
>trying to correct all your shitty behaviors at once
You will crack. Drastic changes don't happen over night. This is why most people fail at making lifestyle changes. Too much too soon.
>I dropped all these drugs and dopamine pits
>But I also ordered drugs to make my new life easier
hobbies =/= entertainment
OP, you need to start meditating. Start with 5 minutes a day. Focus on the breath. Your concentration skills will more than double. You will need it. Lack of concentration can break you if your change is too drastic.
If you feel you urge to browse pornography for hours on end I suggest you have a good old fashioned "artisan" wank absent of any visuals. Internet porn culture has evolved to a perverse level of pleasure maximization and riding dopamine waves. If you need to wank just wank. There's no shame in it.
Not OP but I disagree.
Meditating by itself won't do anything to improve his life. Concentration is a skill made by habit, it can be obtained by many ways.
What OP (and any man in his situation) needs are GOALS and just enough willpower to BUILD PRODUCTIVE HABITS such as consistently studying, working out, going out and meeting people, etc. Thefore, BY DOING THE THINGS HE NEEDS TO DO he'll keep his mind (and body) too busy to overthink and waste time.
All that booze killed your brain
Healthy?
Hiking.
Fun, easy to get into long term with a little guidance and equipment, and am easy way to make friends?
Bowling.
many years ago, I had a similar experience. I was a video game playing rotter for pretty much my whole childhood. I thought that the reason I couldn't meet women, or make friends, etc was that I was just a basement dwelling video game playing loser, so I started eating healthy and exercising and acting much more sociable and friendly. Well no surprise it did not solve any of my problems with other people although I do feel much better now physically. I spend time now, learning foreign languages, I am trying to get a job as a translator, this is something I can do on my own time and no one can ruin it like at a job or at school. I think it's really similar to working out and lifting weights because of that.
I want to have some experiences, and meet new people, but no matter where I go, it seems that people are just not interested, they just want to sit inside on their phone or go drink themselves into a hangover and smoke weed with their friends who all do the same thing. Maybe it's just an american thing, I am about to travel to europe so maybe it will be better there.
good luck with whatever you are doing op, I hope you can improve your life, meet a woman, whatever you are trying to do. Your experience is not at all uncommon, and I think listening to the regular advice of just go to college get a job make friends and all that is not really good advice, it works under the assumption that most people are also like you, working toward something and being generally friendly and willing to put in some effort. But all it will get you is a crappy job, and you will meet a bunch of college guys who think drinking is a hobby, who will not do anything if it doesn't involve the chance of fricking a woman, drinking, or partying
>Aside from lifting 2 hours a day every day and working 50 hours a week, what am I to do with my life. No friends or family.
How many of you live like this
>got a car
>got a job
>suddenly got a gf