i get pretty bad depersonalisation where i feel like "my" emotions are happening to someone else and i'm just observing that person's thoughts and feelings like some sort of impartial spectator and the things that happen to the body that i am in are not happening to me but someone else. it's sort of like watching a gore video but you're both watching the video and inside the video.
because of this it's ultra hard for me to stick to any kind of workout routine because all of the motivation and unmotivation and etcetera bound up in fitness don't happen to "me", they just happen to the "other me" who i am observing. pic related tries to explain it. to be clear i know that "not me" is also me, but that doesn't change anything. just like you can't transfer your own motivation to a random person on the street, i can't translate my motivation to go to the gym to "not me" to get to the gym.
so my question is, do any other anons with brain shit going on have any tips for how to turn up for your workouts? like, i need tips and tricks that are outside the box. because i'm aiming for 4 days a week but i'm turning up to like 2, if that, most weeks. and they're only 4 exercises when i should be doing 5 or 6.
like i don't expect you guys to fix me i just want to know if other anons for whom it is weirdly hard to get to the gym for weird reasons, how do you do it? any anon, any weirdness, i just want to know what other people have tried
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>motivation and unmotivation and etcetera bound up in fitness
You don't need motivation. I just lift cause I enjoy it. If you don't, then why lift?
no i enjoy lifting too but that doesn't mean i can get myself to do it, is the thing. i can't make myself do things even if i want to do them.
non sense, grow up, homosexual
Zoomer problems... stop watching anime, also start owning your failures.
start meditating. you are not the thought of it. all is an invention. But its very similar. just healthy.
>Can't identify with your thoughts and emotions and only passively observe them? Start a practice of deliberately distancing yourself from your thoughts and emotions and only passively observing them.
That will fricking help for sure.
He probably got these problems from meditation in the first place, it's a classic.
lol freaks. Are you asians?
That bottom part of the pic, the lack of agency over the "me" who is performing the actions is key to it all imo. I remember feeling strongly like that when I was young, even though I never framed it as depersonalization. I felt like I couldn't do the things I wanted because the programming of established habit was almost impossible to overcome, trying to change my routine was like trying to stop the motions of heavy machinery with my bare hands. Even the personality that came out when I engaged with others didn't feel like my own, I was defaulting to lines and opinions that were more like algorithmic responses to immediate circumstances rather than displaying something internally consistent.
>Even the personality that came out when I engaged with others didn't feel like my own, I was defaulting to lines and opinions that were more like algorithmic responses to immediate circumstances rather than displaying something internally consistent.
god this describes me so well. i have this whole internal life and personality that not a single other soul knows about and the person who talks to other people is like a complete foreigner to me.
did you ever get over it?
There's really no "you" to begin with. All your behavior is a manifestation of chaos theory.
Depersonalization is just an evolutionary side effect that had no reason to be bred out so here you are now, aware that there's really no one behind the mask just a shoggoth.
People used to live in close proximity with one another so this sort of thing never became evident; now that we're alone we have time to really dig deep into ourselves and discover there's nothing truly there.
This isn't a bad thing, if anything the rules become more apparent but now you know theres no point in "staring into the abyss" for lack of a better phrase
Lithium
Depersonalization is a myth that was invented for women to excuse the fact that they are nasty, lazy, prostitutes. I guarantee that once you actually get up and do productive things this “depersonalization” shit will go away.
If "not you" and "you" can team up to sit down and write this fricking essay then "not you" and "you" can go to the gym or whatever other fricking thing. This is not a meme answer think carefully about the ramifications.
had this, for me it was caused by SIBO/SIFO
yours could be as well, or it could be a hormonal problem
don't let the doctors gaslight you and never go to psychiatrists or psychologists or take any psychoactive drugs — they won't help
if you think it's SIBO/SIFO (signs can be tricky), get on low fermentation diet
get on antibiotics, if needed make up some illness (e.g. diarrhea and vomiting) that will get them written up for you
also take zinc, magnesium-oxide and B-complex vitamin supplements
as for what you are feeling, I know it can be deeply frightening, but you are experiencing the world in an actually more "real" way than before
it only sucks because you're unused to it and can't control it
and because the rest of society are NPC's
you are not your thoughts, you are not your memories, you are not even your personality: these things are just partially you, not in the absolute sense
at the core, the highest self is the observer
the observer is safe, the observer is ever present
but this observer is also the one who gives orders
being more detached from your body and the common self gives you greater control over them
nothing matters, which is exactly why you can do whatever you want
read Marcus Aurelius' Meditations (and perhaps the Tipitaka)
working out will help
just stick to it
why? why not
you do whatever you decide to do
Maybe you can think yourself as the trainer of the not-you self
You just have a weak ego. The ego is just a story we tell ourselves based on the sequence of events and information in our past. In some ways you're just naturally awake to that fact, I had to train my mind to get where you're at, and it actually helped me get more motivated lol. What you gotta do from this point is change the story. Tell yourself a story about yourself that you're excited to continue and participate in as the protagonist. You don't have to make shit up just revise your perspective about the events and cultivate a progression narrative that you want to be the main character of.
You don't identify with yourself because you haven't written a very interesting story and the main character isn't that entertaining. Just Get gud.
bump, have the same thing, how the frick do you get better agency? or for the normies, how do you improve "responsability"?
This is pseudoscientific nonsense that you made up just to cope. I know, because I too once was an angsty young adult like you. There are a few things you need to do. First you need to realize that you being aware of this and having this concept in mind directly makes the situation worse. Whenever you don't do something and whenever something goes wrong you blame it on this, an external factor you can't control. "I can't help it". Even when you think that you're aware of this behavior, you'll still be doing it to an extent.
Second of all you need to actually want to change. Give it a few more years, you'll get really, really sick of it (and I mean really, not the "I don't like this" feeling you have now). You like wallowing in that "I'm so broken" pity and the moment you get disgusted with that from top to bottom anything will be better than wasting another day like that. It will still be difficult to truly enjoy it or feel motivated, but it will still be nicer.
You also need to be healthy. Especially if part of it is caused by a sense of dissociation. I always blamed this on genetics and israelites wanted to prescribe me nasty poison for it. Turns out that you need to eat well, have good posture (very important, you don't want to starve your brain of oxygen), and sleep sufficiently. This will make your mind more clear and get rid of that "the other person feels so distant, it's not really me conversing with them" feeling. You could try fricking with your dopaminergic system through pharma if you haven't just yet, but that usually sucks.
And lastly you need to realize that there are not two you's. The real you is exactly like that, it's those two things that you arbitrarily split up. That's just who you are and there is nothing you can change about that. Plenty of people are like us. It's not someone else actually making those decisions or saying something. Most people have different internal and external facing persona's, albeit usually not as bad as us.
As for tips for gym motivation specifically; you could use the thought of "if I don't go now it'll just be a bigger pain in the ass next time". You know you'll be going back at some point even if you're really lethargic and thinking "it ain't matter" at that moment. It's easier to just structurally keep going than to have to hop off and on constantly. Stop being a b***h and take control of yourself. That and the idea of disliking the fact that you're succumbing to your angsty whiny problems again, a feeling of disgust.
>thinking OP is an adult at all
Bold.
Call your ''"Not me - Me (literally me)"" a DYEL gay every time he wants to skip a workout or leave one session early, that should do the trick.
I love how IST is the only board with a common incidence of sensical opinions.
Dissociation. Anyways, buy a motorcycle.
>Do HIT
>Don't give a shit how bad it hurts
>get to the point where even Dorian Yates would drop the weight and then get 2 more reps
I have to hype myself up for 10 minutes just telling myself "I don't care if it hurts if I don't get another rep I'm gay". You could get fricking huge if you take advantage of this.
none of those things exist. you're welcome.
Not /fitness/ related , go to Therapy
It's fine. It's the same disconnect you feel when you control an avatar in a video game. Your body is automatically guided by the rules of this world, by your monkey brain. Your role is to not give in to every animal instinct you have.
Stop eating grains
why are you even trying to fix it if it doesnt happen to you, just your body? like doesnt the fact that youre posting here demostrate a will? if so, stop relyiing on motivation buddy, stop obessing over it, yes this takes strenght, but not really, you can just do it