I lift, I meditate, I sleep well, I reduced my time on the internet to 30 minutes a day, I quit sugar, porn, videogames, went to therapy, have money. Still, I just want to do nothing and live an hedonistic life. The pull is so strong. I don't want to be like this. What is my problem bros? I doubt I can really be fullfilled just chasing dopamine, but I'm kinda tired of trying so hard all the time.
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You forgot to have fun.
can you have fun doing stuff outside the computer? Im starting to believe you cant
addict
Yeah, at least with people you feel a connection with, while you're not stressed/depressed out due to something. Health's my current showstopper.
You can. I was a slave to technology for 20 years and had the same problem you have now. Found something interesting to do, and now I dont use computer for anything other than work.
Yhe trick is to go outside your comfort zone and try things, even if they feel stupid or not your worth.
Just think about it, most happy and successful people have hobbies and projects that pique their interest. The problem is, that the more you sit on your pc, the more the environment shrinks in your mind. You start to think that everything else is either not interesting (lying to yourself), or out of your grasp (also lying to yourself). You can start hobbies. It takes a while to get to know people in there, but when you do, it can open new doors to other interesting topics
thank you for the long response guys. I would say the problem is lack of purpose and lack of new experiences outside of my comfort zone. I rarely leave my room, I'll give some thought of everything you guys said. Thank you for the help, I feel better and less hopeless
you are using the internet right now for something other than work moron
You need a fulfilling purpose in life and you will only find it in Jesus Christ's love and grace for you
How do you find purpose?
Return is Islam brother, it is the only way.
I’m kind of the opposite. I want to live a peaceful, drama free existence, and hedonism, in addition to making me miserable is a lot of effort. I just want a house as my fortress of solitude and live away from the world.
Same.
I also want to occasionally log onto Twitter and speak of the 13% season police to the masses. But that’s about it.
Just because you feel the pull to do something doesn't mean you need to... I mean, what are alcoholics in recovery for? It doesn't go away. The feeling, the desire, it doesn't go away. You just learn to manage and avoid triggers.
>You just learn to manage and avoid Black folk.
ftfy
What is the difficult yet worthy goal that you are currently pursuing?
If you can't answer this question you will likely be miserable.
yep, can't answer. How do you actually find purpose? I don't see the point in anything, I'm kinda nihilistic
If you were an actual nihilist you'd know that one controls their own purpose. The inherent lack of purpose in life gives you a blank canvas to paint your life as you want rather than relying on determinism and the idea of inherent value. You've shown so far that what you want is a life free of self destruction in the pursuit of self satisfaction. Do you want that for others too? If so, then you could dedicate yourself towards working in and maybe creating rehab centers and other institutions like that. Something that would make a mark on your community and the world even if it's only in a small way. If not, and you moreso want to bring yourself and those you love up instead, then dedicating yourself towards accumulating resources like land and money and having fun enriching your life and theirs with learning and fun experiences would be a good overarching goal to shoot for. You have infinite options and those are only 2 that seem to align with the life you want. As a man you have full control over shaping your destiny and purpose and you're at a stage where it's time to start moving towards a greater goal. It doesn't have to be static but you need a direction. Life will take you down different paths and as you get more life experience you might see the value you can create in other ways that would fulfill you more than your initial goal. You're already putting in the work. Make it worth something to yourself instead of it being on the level of moral masturbation like it is right now.
>What is the difficult yet worthy goal that you are currently pursuing?
Why did you want it in the first place? Dont you want freedom? Is that not freedom? Then what is it, if it doesn't align with what you're doing, chase it. Even if you find mistakes there, you will find an answer.
It is not freedom since I'm a slave of my addictions and impulses
If you were a slave you'd still be doing all that stuff you stopped. Be proud of how far you've come and be patient.
thank you anon, it is hard, but I have to keep going, wish you good luck with your stuff
man was born and made on the image of god
you still have a choice. If you can see it you can control it. You don't need anything friend, you are already complete, you only need to do as you will. You are already free 🙂
read this
https://lukesmith.xyz/articles/modern-freedom-means-being-a-slave-to-impulses/
Not having sugar makes it impossible to recover from my workouts so adding more sugar in the past two days has made me feel a lot better.
hiking for a month at a time is way more than you need for a reset. you forget w were nature dwellers forever basically
I have the exact answer you need but unfortunately it's been over 30 minutes
You're alive. The pull of sin never goes away. We fight sin our entire lives until we are glorified in the end.
For now just keep doing what you are doing.
I broke nofap yesterday to degeneracy, and I knew how wrong right after. But a few minutes later I had insight that I'm circumsized and was mutilated wrongly at birth, and that God understands and is eternal love, no modern fake perverted versions of love, and to keep being better.
What does your psychologist say about this?
she said a couple of things
>You're kinda traumatized
Already healed for the most part
>You are gifted
Doesn't mean anything If I don't put in the work
>If you do all that dopaminergic stuff is because you want to, you don't have to beat yourself up for it
I agree in not beating myself up, I don't agree in wanting to do it,I want to pursue meaning, not cheap entertaiment
I don't know what "meaning" means for me, I just feel empty and disguted in myself when I spent more than I should on the internet and playing videogames, but I don't have a worthy alternative to pursue
From what I gather, meaning comes from feeling to be a part of something bigger than you. Be it a hobby, helping others, doing sonething good for your friends/loved ones. But you have to start from yourself. If you are not mentally okay, how can you help others?
Happiness is a secondary feeling than comes from doing and achieving the things you love, but usually it needs meaning to support it.
try wellbutrin