>leg day >was feeling eh all day but whatever >go to the gym and start squating >feel a powerful fart coming right at the bottom >uh oh, not a fart, definitely a shart >luckily gym was empty >hobble over to the bathroom and wipe the shit off >door right next to the bathroom outside >throw soiled undies out the door >power walk out of the gym but notice little pool of shit water in the squat rack >as I'm leaving 3 guys enter
idk man, people must have pretty awful diets, or else they're eating something that their body doesn't tolerate
pretty much the only time i get loose shits these days is after drinking like 50 beers
Americans solely survive on a diet of cornsyrup and vegetable oil. They drink gallons of each on a daily basis then liquid shit themselves whenever they cough or sneeze
idk man, people must have pretty awful diets, or else they're eating something that their body doesn't tolerate
pretty much the only time i get loose shits these days is after drinking like 50 beers
Most Americans don't properly wipe so they're walking around with shit in their butts so they can't tell apart the outside poop from the inside one since it all feels the same so they end up pooping themselves
For me it's that I don't want to interrupt my workout and I don't like sitting with sweaty ass on toilet seat, kinda feels weird. So I want to hold it, but sometimes it burst out a little. Luckily I'm home gym master race.
>Fugu is served as sashimi and nabemono. The liver was served as a traditional dish named fugu-kimo, being widely thought to be a tasty part, but it is also the most poisonous, and serving this organ in restaurants was banned in Japan in 1984. Fugu has become one of the most celebrated dishes in Japanese and Korean cuisine. >Also mutts are the healthiest types of dogs
You non Americans are pathetic, no wonder we rule the world
I've yet to shit myself at the gym, but with my IBS and heavy squats I know it's going to happen some day. It's been damn close a few times.
I'm actually more afraid of shitting during deadlifts though, it's the grind in which you squeeze your entire being into firmness I feel is the biggest risk.
>deadlift day >find a spot to set up bar and weights >finish first warm up set >add weights >finish second warm up set >add weights >finish third warm up set >add weights >go drink from water fountain before working sets >see gym PT putting weights away
guess I'm done for the day
>polite
apologizing when there's nothing to apologize for isn't being polite, it's being a disingenuous spineless twerp. giving meaningless valueless apologies is insultingly homosexualy. oh my god i am so sorry that i'm using that and i'm sorry that i have to say something that i'm sorry about and i'm also sorry to ask if you wouldn't be too sorry to please let me keep doing so sir?
I see you have autism. "Sorry" is not actually an apology when used in a context like this, it's a way of showing respect. Instead of saying "that's my rack", which is very direct and might come off as aggressive, you say "I'm sorry, that's my rack". Again, there's no actual apology here, this is just how language is used, but I know social norms are difficult to understand for autists.
10 months ago
Anonymous
"sorry" isn't a sign of respect, it's a submissive gesture, lmao. "that's my rack" isn't the only alternative to "sorry". actually it's you who has autism, as demonstrated by your utterly moronic explanation.
>Hey, I am using that
or alternatively the more aggro >why are you touching my bar?
I had a boomer once coming into my rack half squatting my OHP weight while I was gone for 2 minutes to get water and have a piss.
I explained to him that it's common gym etiquette to not touch a loaded bar, he started with his boomerisms displaying that he is unworthy of courtesy and respect, so I explicitly told him to frick off.
If you let them, morons and buttholes are going to step on you.
This can't be real. Demand the moron to put the weights back on the bar. Start speaking louder and try to humiliate him to the rest of the gym. homosexual PTs live and die on their image.
>be me in office gym after work >only 3 or 4 people ever use it and just me and one leanmaxxed Indian guy use it multiple times per week >usually he finishes on the treadmill as I'm starting my squats then it's just me >one day feel a fart coming on after he leaves >don't fart for a while but then figure what the hell no one has ever walked in while I'm working out >fart >immediately a coworker rounds the corner, sees me through window and comes in to talk >have whole conversation in fart cloud >he leaves, I go back to lifting >5 minutes later fart again >it happens AGAIN, another coworker sees me and enthusiastically enters room to talk >have another conversation in heavier fart cloud
>be me >neet home gym gay >use a piss jug to collect piss so I don't have to flush the toilet as much >liftan in the garage during summer >dripping sweat and drinking water >piss jug is nearly full >go to top it off near the end of my sesh >close the lid but it slips from my hands >it crashes to the floor directly on the lid >lid breaks >uh oh >piss spills all over the garage >upright the container then run inside to grab some towels and cleaning supplies >clean the mess >garage still smells like piss
nta but it's actually pretty convenient once you get used to it, comes in handy in a pinch if your roommate is showering or something and you gotta piss
the problem is that anon opted for using one without a fricking CAP
they are trolling you a trainer would only do this because she thinks she can get a sale out of you. She never wanted ur D she wanted you to buy 1000 dollar training pack
t. Personal trainer
Fricking hell this just happened to me recently.
It's about a girl. Or woman.
>Go switch to new gym closer by because friend stopped working out >A trainer that goes there gets to talking to me when I go there, she gets very close to talking about me and her >Spunky, a bit tan, she's kinda boyish in mannerisms but I don't mind, taps my shoulder, pushes me, slaps my lower back when I'm squatting. >She asks what I eat, tells me I can eat better food and cooks food to bring me when I go over to the gym so I can snack on it later during work >We play around a bit, after her training sessions she'd spend extra time with me in other classes like cycling, sprinting etc. >Think she likes me >Friends tell me dude she likes you, good signs just ask her out etc. >Decide to man up, ask her if she wants to date >"Oh sorry anon, but I'm not really interested in you. We can still be friends right?"
>Thought 100% she liked me so this stunned me and I replied
>"umm no thanks, I think it would be best if we just go back to just you know being a trainer and me being a gym goer." >She's taken back from the response >Walk to my usual weights and go back to lifting >Can see her from corner of my eye when moving around, her staring at me across the gym while she's training someone else >Finishing my set walk away >She comes up to me >Hey anon you forgot here I cooked this nice meal! I spent some extra time getting the sauce right it's pretty good I made one for myself see? >"thanks but no thanks I got my own lunch for today no need to bring food anymore" >Walk out see her just standing there holding food as I'm walking to my car >Drive away last glance see her sitting there on a bench looking disappointed
>Next time I came over >Usual sign in dude is there, and with some trainers >Hey anon! what happened with X? What did you do to her? >explain what happened. >Yeah she walked out the break room like she was in tears yesterday, didn't want to talk about it.
Piss in the sink. There's literally no reason not to except for stupid, illogical social conditioning. >flush my piss with 3 gallons of water >or >flush my piss with a quarter of a cup of water
>vinegar. piss smell comes out with white vinegar. vinegar smell goes away as it dries.
If it doesn't you can always add more piss to cover the vingegar smell.
Fricking hell this just happened to me recently.
It's about a girl. Or woman.
>Go switch to new gym closer by because friend stopped working out >A trainer that goes there gets to talking to me when I go there, she gets very close to talking about me and her >Spunky, a bit tan, she's kinda boyish in mannerisms but I don't mind, taps my shoulder, pushes me, slaps my lower back when I'm squatting. >She asks what I eat, tells me I can eat better food and cooks food to bring me when I go over to the gym so I can snack on it later during work >We play around a bit, after her training sessions she'd spend extra time with me in other classes like cycling, sprinting etc. >Think she likes me >Friends tell me dude she likes you, good signs just ask her out etc. >Decide to man up, ask her if she wants to date >"Oh sorry anon, but I'm not really interested in you. We can still be friends right?"
>Thought 100% she liked me so this stunned me and I replied
>"umm no thanks, I think it would be best if we just go back to just you know being a trainer and me being a gym goer." >She's taken back from the response >Walk to my usual weights and go back to lifting >Can see her from corner of my eye when moving around, her staring at me across the gym while she's training someone else >Finishing my set walk away >She comes up to me >Hey anon you forgot here I cooked this nice meal! I spent some extra time getting the sauce right it's pretty good I made one for myself see? >"thanks but no thanks I got my own lunch for today no need to bring food anymore" >Walk out see her just standing there holding food as I'm walking to my car >Drive away last glance see her sitting there on a bench looking disappointed
>Next time I came over >Usual sign in dude is there, and with some trainers >Hey anon! what happened with X? What did you do to her? >explain what happened. >Yeah she walked out the break room like she was in tears yesterday, didn't want to talk about it.
Man I suck at green texting just for clarification.
I told her that I just didn't want to be friend with her. I had feelings for her bros. I don't know but I felt bad at that moment and just decided to nuke it all instead of keeping her as a friend. I don't know if you guys think I'm an butthole for this but I feel like it would hurt like hell to see her and another guy while just pretending like I don't care because I'm her friend.
Man I suck at green texting just for clarification.
I told her that I just didn't want to be friend with her. I had feelings for her bros. I don't know but I felt bad at that moment and just decided to nuke it all instead of keeping her as a friend. I don't know if you guys think I'm an butthole for this but I feel like it would hurt like hell to see her and another guy while just pretending like I don't care because I'm her friend.
>I feel like it would hurt like hell to see her and another guy while just pretending like I don't care because I'm her friend.
I think you should tell her that and see what she thinks. She seems cool from how you talked about her so at least she'd understand and be more so acquaintances. Not sure why she's so invested in you though given how she was acting around you.
She sees him as a MARK. She’s emotionally manipulating him to buy sessions with her. She is 100% not interested romantically. She sees a spergy dyel guy who looks like hes got money
Fricking hell this just happened to me recently.
It's about a girl. Or woman.
>Go switch to new gym closer by because friend stopped working out >A trainer that goes there gets to talking to me when I go there, she gets very close to talking about me and her >Spunky, a bit tan, she's kinda boyish in mannerisms but I don't mind, taps my shoulder, pushes me, slaps my lower back when I'm squatting. >She asks what I eat, tells me I can eat better food and cooks food to bring me when I go over to the gym so I can snack on it later during work >We play around a bit, after her training sessions she'd spend extra time with me in other classes like cycling, sprinting etc. >Think she likes me >Friends tell me dude she likes you, good signs just ask her out etc. >Decide to man up, ask her if she wants to date >"Oh sorry anon, but I'm not really interested in you. We can still be friends right?"
>Thought 100% she liked me so this stunned me and I replied
>"umm no thanks, I think it would be best if we just go back to just you know being a trainer and me being a gym goer." >She's taken back from the response >Walk to my usual weights and go back to lifting >Can see her from corner of my eye when moving around, her staring at me across the gym while she's training someone else >Finishing my set walk away >She comes up to me >Hey anon you forgot here I cooked this nice meal! I spent some extra time getting the sauce right it's pretty good I made one for myself see? >"thanks but no thanks I got my own lunch for today no need to bring food anymore" >Walk out see her just standing there holding food as I'm walking to my car >Drive away last glance see her sitting there on a bench looking disappointed
>Next time I came over >Usual sign in dude is there, and with some trainers >Hey anon! what happened with X? What did you do to her? >explain what happened. >Yeah she walked out the break room like she was in tears yesterday, didn't want to talk about it.
I don't get this. Why'd she fricking reject him if she's just gonna cry about it later? The frick is wrong with people. "Love" the grows from friendship is the best. Shit like this is a constant reminder that women do not "feel" or "think", and they just operate reflexively. Even a modicum of forethought would've revealed that either the guy is into her, or her not being into him was going to change their relationship. Being driven to tears by the consequences of your own actions would serve as a lesson to your average bloke, but she will remain incapable of understanding how she was responsible for her own situation.
Really activates the fricking almonds.
It's simple, she thought he was a friend, didn't see him as a sexual/romantic prospect, and assumed it was mutual (projection). Then she found out he liked her, wasn't interested and consequently lost him as a friend. She was sad so she tried to get him to like her again. It didn't work so she cried i.e. grieved the loss of a friend. She might be a devious sociopath who knew he liked her and conspired to keep him on her hook but you can't get that from the story.
Women are not actually complicated in general. Just think about what you would have done when you were a kid, that is what a woman will usually do.
I think she also might be thinking she can be that social butterfly king b***h trainer at the gym.
In order to be that she (subconsiously) thinks she needs to amass enough orbiters, complusively run around and instruct people and also bring them meals etc.
That and she probably has a thing for taking care of people and thinks it will increase her value as a trainer and being perceived as "doing a good job"
That and females always love any male attention they don`t have to compensate by having sex and delude themselves into thinking they can have "friendships" with males.
That and women also like to just talk to a whole bunch of males first, keep multiple options open just figuring out which one seems to be the best prospect, never actually going through for a relationship or anything sexually beyond light flirting.
They are completely fine having the large elephant of "relationship / sex / etc" completely untouched even if it`s taking up 80% of the space of the room, as long as it means she can just get away with getting your attention or whatever else it is she wants.
The gym is the perfect spot for this because here the female trainer can even get away with touching you, as she is "just instructing" you.
Even an IQ 50 person would be aware of the elephant.
10 months ago
Anonymous
The moment when you confront her and talk about an actual relationship terrifies her because that forces her to make an actual decision.
She loves flying around anywhere, not making a decision, ever, and keeping options open til forever.
Even if she might be keeping you as a "beta orbiter" in her mind anyways, at the point where you confront her, but she isn`t at that state already, she will then deny any attraction and say "we are friends".
Apart from that yeah it was a pasta and probably never happens.
Bringing you meals and pestering you with attention, touches and smiles etc., come on. That`s way beyond what a normal trainer does at a gym, unless she would have been booked and payed by the hour (apart from your gym fee) or something. That`s not normal.
Many women are so used to having orbiters, that they instinctively and routinely use them for attention (or help in housework, money, meals, etc.) and have them booked as "friends" in their head, but on a subconscious level still know they really do want sex, and will actually resort to using one of those many orbiters as a bounce back temporary boyfriend if she`s trying to get back at her ex or extremely bored and somehow out of options.
Also, if you don`t explicitely make it obvious you want something sexual from the start, women will put you in this type of "friend zone".
You don`t really get out there by just straight up asking for a relationship, that turns them off even more.
Basically they want to be straight up groped from the start, but it takes chemistry for them to allow it. Then sex naturally happens and then after that is when she will call it a "relationshit".
10 months ago
Anonymous
schizo but true
10 months ago
Anonymous
I can't comprehend those type of females, and I wonder what type of man would settle with someone like that
Black person who cares if my friend doesn't like me. There's never been one point in my life that if a friend of mine left me I would have cared. Even as a kid. >ooh no, Bobby thinks I'm an butthole, he'll never play Smash with me
Wow I'm so taken back, at a lost for words. How can I cope? I can't discuss my favorite zombie e-girl manga with Joe anymore, what a greek tragedy.
Hell, if you feel sad that a friend left you, all right I get it. But to TEARS? To motherfricking tears? Almost all friendships aren't that deep. And this ended not from betrayl or hurt, but from the guy saying "I don't want to be with you if you won't frick me"
https://i.imgur.com/8wWHjEk.jpg
The moment when you confront her and talk about an actual relationship terrifies her because that forces her to make an actual decision.
She loves flying around anywhere, not making a decision, ever, and keeping options open til forever.
Even if she might be keeping you as a "beta orbiter" in her mind anyways, at the point where you confront her, but she isn`t at that state already, she will then deny any attraction and say "we are friends".
Apart from that yeah it was a pasta and probably never happens.
Bringing you meals and pestering you with attention, touches and smiles etc., come on. That`s way beyond what a normal trainer does at a gym, unless she would have been booked and payed by the hour (apart from your gym fee) or something. That`s not normal.
Many women are so used to having orbiters, that they instinctively and routinely use them for attention (or help in housework, money, meals, etc.) and have them booked as "friends" in their head, but on a subconscious level still know they really do want sex, and will actually resort to using one of those many orbiters as a bounce back temporary boyfriend if she`s trying to get back at her ex or extremely bored and somehow out of options.
Also, if you don`t explicitely make it obvious you want something sexual from the start, women will put you in this type of "friend zone".
You don`t really get out there by just straight up asking for a relationship, that turns them off even more.
Basically they want to be straight up groped from the start, but it takes chemistry for them to allow it. Then sex naturally happens and then after that is when she will call it a "relationshit".
>You don`t really get out there by just straight up asking for a relationship, that turns them off even more.
This type of reasoning seems the best in my life. Just talking to them a bit, then asking to coffee gets me results. I wonder if you do have a female friend, how do you convince them to hook up with her friends?
10 months ago
Anonymous
>if you feel sad that a friend left you, all right I get it. But to TEARS? To motherfricking tears?
Women cry anon.
10 months ago
Anonymous
Yes, casual talk, then a date, then if chemistry is right you can touch / kiss her and whatever.
But not: casual talk for days, no mention of sex / date / anything, and then one day show up "Hey you`ve been oddly nice to me lately, what about a relationship?" It`s too upfront for them. If she said "yes" right there she would allow you to skip all the in between steps where you are supposed to have a connection that is somewhat SEXUAL, beyond just "nice", touching each other, talking about actual sexual things, maybe kissing, etc.
If you think a woman might be interested, ask her for an exclusive date (only you two around) first, there you can start building chemistry, if she`s even interested.
If you start out in a bar or a club, that is basically your date already and you can start flirting right away and then move on to dancing with her (and what is basically sexual groping) if that`s the type of girl or she is drunk, and she`s into you sexually, you can then also take her home, or go to her home, and frick her. That`s not necessarily a relationship though, that would be casual sex. You frick her, you wake up sober and realize wtf and leave each other right there.
That type of thing is way more easy with alcohol involved, which is one of the reasons why it`s prohibited so heavily in the US. (I`m not from the us)
this, you don't have to frick every girl who can stand your company
https://i.imgur.com/X8XXpvX.png
I think she also might be thinking she can be that social butterfly king b***h trainer at the gym.
In order to be that she (subconsiously) thinks she needs to amass enough orbiters, complusively run around and instruct people and also bring them meals etc.
That and she probably has a thing for taking care of people and thinks it will increase her value as a trainer and being perceived as "doing a good job"
That and females always love any male attention they don`t have to compensate by having sex and delude themselves into thinking they can have "friendships" with males.
That and women also like to just talk to a whole bunch of males first, keep multiple options open just figuring out which one seems to be the best prospect, never actually going through for a relationship or anything sexually beyond light flirting.
They are completely fine having the large elephant of "relationship / sex / etc" completely untouched even if it`s taking up 80% of the space of the room, as long as it means she can just get away with getting your attention or whatever else it is she wants.
The gym is the perfect spot for this because here the female trainer can even get away with touching you, as she is "just instructing" you.
Even an IQ 50 person would be aware of the elephant.
>every woman in the world is a Machiavellian schemer
get some help
10 months ago
Anonymous
Every average girl today has tons of options and males who give her attention in hopes of sex i.e. orbiters. That does not equate to being a schemer. It happens naturally even to kind and pure girls.
I`m simply explaining to you in simple terms.
These were all likelyhoods in order to explain the pasta situation, not definites.
Noone is "wanting to frick every girl who is behaving nice in anormal way" towards you.
The trainer in the pasta was going out of her way to shower the gymgoer with attention and gifts so he had reason enough to wonder about it.
10 months ago
Anonymous
your opinions on women are very obviously informed by the internet and not real life.
10 months ago
Anonymous
no thats how society works just because you don`t see it doesn`t mean it isn`t going on even with average women
it`s not a problem to me or anything, I`m simply aware of it
It's simple, she thought he was a friend, didn't see him as a sexual/romantic prospect, and assumed it was mutual (projection). Then she found out he liked her, wasn't interested and consequently lost him as a friend. She was sad so she tried to get him to like her again. It didn't work so she cried i.e. grieved the loss of a friend. She might be a devious sociopath who knew he liked her and conspired to keep him on her hook but you can't get that from the story.
Women are not actually complicated in general. Just think about what you would have done when you were a kid, that is what a woman will usually do.
It sounds like she genuinely liked him and would have dated him. All he had to do was literally wrestle her to the ground when she challenged him. That was his opening. Instead he was a sperg and used his words, not his actions. So she reflexively denies because he was not only boring but broke all sorts of cues. She was still giving this fricker outs to make an actual move and instead he doubles and triples down on his autism. She was clearly trying to rekindle the relationship to give him another opportunity to make a legitimate physical move.
You guys don’t know about socks off.
Frick yeah, time to learn bois.
It’s a co-ed game we used to play in high school when we would drink, it’s really simple.
Clear out the living room or just a big space on the floor (or grass outside).
Both players square off starting on their knees, and your goal is to get the other person’s socks off. That’s it.
It gets wildly fricking intense and is a great excuse for physical contact.
Women don’t even care because shit gets fricking real.
You should’ve challenged her to socks off, anon.
10 months ago
Anonymous
Y’all out here arguing about pissing in sinks and I’m trying to teach you how to wrestle women.
ngmi my guys
10 months ago
Anonymous
I got a foot fetish and my tally whacker would get hard playing that game ngl
Fricking hell this just happened to me recently.
It's about a girl. Or woman.
>Go switch to new gym closer by because friend stopped working out >A trainer that goes there gets to talking to me when I go there, she gets very close to talking about me and her >Spunky, a bit tan, she's kinda boyish in mannerisms but I don't mind, taps my shoulder, pushes me, slaps my lower back when I'm squatting. >She asks what I eat, tells me I can eat better food and cooks food to bring me when I go over to the gym so I can snack on it later during work >We play around a bit, after her training sessions she'd spend extra time with me in other classes like cycling, sprinting etc. >Think she likes me >Friends tell me dude she likes you, good signs just ask her out etc. >Decide to man up, ask her if she wants to date >"Oh sorry anon, but I'm not really interested in you. We can still be friends right?"
>Thought 100% she liked me so this stunned me and I replied
>"umm no thanks, I think it would be best if we just go back to just you know being a trainer and me being a gym goer." >She's taken back from the response >Walk to my usual weights and go back to lifting >Can see her from corner of my eye when moving around, her staring at me across the gym while she's training someone else >Finishing my set walk away >She comes up to me >Hey anon you forgot here I cooked this nice meal! I spent some extra time getting the sauce right it's pretty good I made one for myself see? >"thanks but no thanks I got my own lunch for today no need to bring food anymore" >Walk out see her just standing there holding food as I'm walking to my car >Drive away last glance see her sitting there on a bench looking disappointed
>Next time I came over >Usual sign in dude is there, and with some trainers >Hey anon! what happened with X? What did you do to her? >explain what happened. >Yeah she walked out the break room like she was in tears yesterday, didn't want to talk about it.
Sorry sweaties but you're not entitled to a man's platonic companionship
Fricking hell this just happened to me recently.
It's about a girl. Or woman.
>Go switch to new gym closer by because friend stopped working out >A trainer that goes there gets to talking to me when I go there, she gets very close to talking about me and her >Spunky, a bit tan, she's kinda boyish in mannerisms but I don't mind, taps my shoulder, pushes me, slaps my lower back when I'm squatting. >She asks what I eat, tells me I can eat better food and cooks food to bring me when I go over to the gym so I can snack on it later during work >We play around a bit, after her training sessions she'd spend extra time with me in other classes like cycling, sprinting etc. >Think she likes me >Friends tell me dude she likes you, good signs just ask her out etc. >Decide to man up, ask her if she wants to date >"Oh sorry anon, but I'm not really interested in you. We can still be friends right?"
>Thought 100% she liked me so this stunned me and I replied
>"umm no thanks, I think it would be best if we just go back to just you know being a trainer and me being a gym goer." >She's taken back from the response >Walk to my usual weights and go back to lifting >Can see her from corner of my eye when moving around, her staring at me across the gym while she's training someone else >Finishing my set walk away >She comes up to me >Hey anon you forgot here I cooked this nice meal! I spent some extra time getting the sauce right it's pretty good I made one for myself see? >"thanks but no thanks I got my own lunch for today no need to bring food anymore" >Walk out see her just standing there holding food as I'm walking to my car >Drive away last glance see her sitting there on a bench looking disappointed
>Next time I came over >Usual sign in dude is there, and with some trainers >Hey anon! what happened with X? What did you do to her? >explain what happened. >Yeah she walked out the break room like she was in tears yesterday, didn't want to talk about it.
I bet these fricking idiots feel fricking good over this. They think they're Sasuke or some edgy anime character when they walk away, with Linkin park playing in the back. Fricking autistic.
You're just being a huge fricking piece of shit to a friend for no fricking reason other than being butthurt that you got rejected. And then you're wonder why they feel like shit when you treat them like shit.
Then again, this board is the mental illness central, look at this clueless autist.
I don't get this. Why'd she fricking reject him if she's just gonna cry about it later? The frick is wrong with people. "Love" the grows from friendship is the best. Shit like this is a constant reminder that women do not "feel" or "think", and they just operate reflexively. Even a modicum of forethought would've revealed that either the guy is into her, or her not being into him was going to change their relationship. Being driven to tears by the consequences of your own actions would serve as a lesson to your average bloke, but she will remain incapable of understanding how she was responsible for her own situation.
Really activates the fricking almonds.
>t. either roastie or homosexual
Black person if two people want irrevocably different things out of a relationship, why would they keep up the charade after it is made clear that it simply won't happen?
For him, it's better to cut contact than to become a jaded orbiter. For her, it should be better to let go of a potential friend after he's made it clear he just wants to get into her pants, yet stupid roasties still insist on collecting orbiters because it's more convenient to maintaint the status quo and try to completely disregard the others' feelings.
Man I suck at green texting just for clarification.
I told her that I just didn't want to be friend with her. I had feelings for her bros. I don't know but I felt bad at that moment and just decided to nuke it all instead of keeping her as a friend. I don't know if you guys think I'm an butthole for this but I feel like it would hurt like hell to see her and another guy while just pretending like I don't care because I'm her friend.
you did the right thing Anon something similiar happend to me at work
Not my embarassing story but I had to rush over and help some guy out from under a failed squat. Hope it doesn't discourage him from going to failure, just set the safeties higher next time.
I don't understand people like that. They just put the safeties at the lowest possible rung, as it for decoration and don't even test if they work. When I first used safeties like that I practiced with quarter pl8s to see how failing should look and if my ROM would cover it. Had to experiment to find the optimal height. Do people literally not think about their own safety while lifting heavy?
Some people are dumb. I don't practice failing but I do check the safeties are high enough to catch the bar without reducing ROM (too much - the slots are too far apart to get the exact optimum height).
>few weeks ago doing incline bench >chest is weak as shit so I'm using b***h weight, 95lbs >feel a good pump going, can feel my chest responding to the workout >decide to be macho and add a whopping 10lbs >get to 6th rep, barely push it out, aiming for 8 >lower bar to chest on 7th >can't lift it back up >frick >don't want to embarrass myself so I try to not make a scene but people noticed anyways, incline bench is dead center of room >lower bar to my legs and start rolling >shortstack Latina milf who I've seen around a lot comes over and starts helping me out >gives me a playful motherly lecture about knowing my limits and being careful, taking longer breaks between sets to make sure you can do it, etc >tells me she's a personal trainer and if I need help or have questions since we're there at the same time so often >thank her, go about my workout >every workout after that day, she grins and waves at me when she or I walk in >catch her eyeing me in the mirror sometimes and quickly looking away >she has a face like a leather bag from the naturally darker skin or just general tanning >but has an incredible ass and does ass workouts nearly every session
embarrassed about failing the 100 pound incline press because I can lift almost 2 plates on normal bench, but it put me on friendly terms with a fat assed milf so I'll take it.
>have giant nuts >use any machine >giant thigh and nut stain is left on the leather >see women look in visible disgust at the machine before using it
Once I lose a bit of weight, I think the stain will get a lot more obscene.
This was almost 10 years ago >Be young dumbass >Be at gym with obese girl friend >She comes up to me with a monitor/pt that works at the gym >She has been going to that gym for a while so she knows the people that work there >She brought him so he can explain to me how to squat because I told her my squats sucked >Autistically and arrogantly say no thanks 🙂 because I had IST and ripptoe so I knew more than anyone >Try to leave >Obese girl friend yells "ANON COME HERE" as she stomps the ground and points at it as if I was a dog >Gym goes silent >I turn around with my fragile 19 yo ego crushed, how could she? >I hear a single boomer sounding man loudly laugh in the background >I go back to her >PT tries to explain to me how to squat, he seemed unfazed by the event, didn't seem to care >Obese girl friend found the situation funny I think
Looking back it wasn't a big deal, not much is anyways, things just come and go. I should have appreciated her trying to bring a PT to explain to me an exercise to help me and appreciate him coming instead of autistically leaving but that was me back then. I have another story with her but it's not gym related. >Get drunk as frick with her and my best friend at the time at my place >One thing leads to another and we end up having kind of a threesome >She sucked our schlongs and my friend tried to penetrate her (they already had sex before with each other while I didn't) >The smell was too awful poor dude ended up in the bathroom puking >He also seemed to have whiskey dick >I end up coming in her face while she sucks me >"Eew it's bitter" she says >Lmao >We celebrate the threesome with my best friend when we are done >She starts crying >Try to calm her down >We try to sleep >She keeps saying she can deepthroat me >Okay let's see >Get on my knees in the bed >All 3 of us were sleeping together in the same bed >She tried to deepthroat >She gags, my valiant 5 incher wins this one
(Cont)
>My best friend jokingly says to cut it or he will join too
Now that I'm telling the story I rember something about taking her to the bathroom or some shit to finish but I don't remember if she didn't want or I didn't want because I honestly didn't wanna frick her lmao. Anyways >Next morning >Tease her saying she couldn't deepthroat me >"It was because of the alcohol" she says >Accompany her to the bus >She asks me if I would have done it sober >Be honest and tell her no >Apparently my friend has a bigger schlong than me >She starts teasing me with how I'm smaller than him >My young dumbass fragile ego gets crushed again
Looking back again I realize it wasn't a big deal, she like me a lot actually so maybe she was coping with my rejections that way or whatever. She used to grab my fingers and pretend it was my dick and suck on them or perform blowjobs on the when we were with friends, it was actually pretty hot. She did it like twice.
This was almost 10 years ago >Be young dumbass >Be at gym with obese girl friend >She comes up to me with a monitor/pt that works at the gym >She has been going to that gym for a while so she knows the people that work there >She brought him so he can explain to me how to squat because I told her my squats sucked >Autistically and arrogantly say no thanks 🙂 because I had IST and ripptoe so I knew more than anyone >Try to leave >Obese girl friend yells "ANON COME HERE" as she stomps the ground and points at it as if I was a dog >Gym goes silent >I turn around with my fragile 19 yo ego crushed, how could she? >I hear a single boomer sounding man loudly laugh in the background >I go back to her >PT tries to explain to me how to squat, he seemed unfazed by the event, didn't seem to care >Obese girl friend found the situation funny I think
Looking back it wasn't a big deal, not much is anyways, things just come and go. I should have appreciated her trying to bring a PT to explain to me an exercise to help me and appreciate him coming instead of autistically leaving but that was me back then. I have another story with her but it's not gym related. >Get drunk as frick with her and my best friend at the time at my place >One thing leads to another and we end up having kind of a threesome >She sucked our schlongs and my friend tried to penetrate her (they already had sex before with each other while I didn't) >The smell was too awful poor dude ended up in the bathroom puking >He also seemed to have whiskey dick >I end up coming in her face while she sucks me >"Eew it's bitter" she says >Lmao >We celebrate the threesome with my best friend when we are done >She starts crying >Try to calm her down >We try to sleep >She keeps saying she can deepthroat me >Okay let's see >Get on my knees in the bed >All 3 of us were sleeping together in the same bed >She tried to deepthroat >She gags, my valiant 5 incher wins this one
(Cont)
This was almost 10 years ago >Be young dumbass >Be at gym with obese girl friend >She comes up to me with a monitor/pt that works at the gym >She has been going to that gym for a while so she knows the people that work there >She brought him so he can explain to me how to squat because I told her my squats sucked >Autistically and arrogantly say no thanks 🙂 because I had IST and ripptoe so I knew more than anyone >Try to leave >Obese girl friend yells "ANON COME HERE" as she stomps the ground and points at it as if I was a dog >Gym goes silent >I turn around with my fragile 19 yo ego crushed, how could she? >I hear a single boomer sounding man loudly laugh in the background >I go back to her >PT tries to explain to me how to squat, he seemed unfazed by the event, didn't seem to care >Obese girl friend found the situation funny I think
Looking back it wasn't a big deal, not much is anyways, things just come and go. I should have appreciated her trying to bring a PT to explain to me an exercise to help me and appreciate him coming instead of autistically leaving but that was me back then. I have another story with her but it's not gym related. >Get drunk as frick with her and my best friend at the time at my place >One thing leads to another and we end up having kind of a threesome >She sucked our schlongs and my friend tried to penetrate her (they already had sex before with each other while I didn't) >The smell was too awful poor dude ended up in the bathroom puking >He also seemed to have whiskey dick >I end up coming in her face while she sucks me >"Eew it's bitter" she says >Lmao >We celebrate the threesome with my best friend when we are done >She starts crying >Try to calm her down >We try to sleep >She keeps saying she can deepthroat me >Okay let's see >Get on my knees in the bed >All 3 of us were sleeping together in the same bed >She tried to deepthroat >She gags, my valiant 5 incher wins this one
(Cont)
>My best friend jokingly says to cut it or he will join too
Now that I'm telling the story I rember something about taking her to the bathroom or some shit to finish but I don't remember if she didn't want or I didn't want because I honestly didn't wanna frick her lmao. Anyways >Next morning >Tease her saying she couldn't deepthroat me >"It was because of the alcohol" she says >Accompany her to the bus >She asks me if I would have done it sober >Be honest and tell her no >Apparently my friend has a bigger schlong than me >She starts teasing me with how I'm smaller than him >My young dumbass fragile ego gets crushed again
Looking back again I realize it wasn't a big deal, she like me a lot actually so maybe she was coping with my rejections that way or whatever. She used to grab my fingers and pretend it was my dick and suck on them or perform blowjobs on the when we were with friends, it was actually pretty hot. She did it like twice.
>My best friend jokingly says to cut it or he will join too
Now that I'm telling the story I rember something about taking her to the bathroom or some shit to finish but I don't remember if she didn't want or I didn't want because I honestly didn't wanna frick her lmao. Anyways >Next morning >Tease her saying she couldn't deepthroat me >"It was because of the alcohol" she says >Accompany her to the bus >She asks me if I would have done it sober >Be honest and tell her no >Apparently my friend has a bigger schlong than me >She starts teasing me with how I'm smaller than him >My young dumbass fragile ego gets crushed again
Looking back again I realize it wasn't a big deal, she like me a lot actually so maybe she was coping with my rejections that way or whatever. She used to grab my fingers and pretend it was my dick and suck on them or perform blowjobs on the when we were with friends, it was actually pretty hot. She did it like twice.
these got me laughing loudly at work
thank you
very funny if these stories are true
>My best friend jokingly says to cut it or he will join too
Now that I'm telling the story I rember something about taking her to the bathroom or some shit to finish but I don't remember if she didn't want or I didn't want because I honestly didn't wanna frick her lmao. Anyways >Next morning >Tease her saying she couldn't deepthroat me >"It was because of the alcohol" she says >Accompany her to the bus >She asks me if I would have done it sober >Be honest and tell her no >Apparently my friend has a bigger schlong than me >She starts teasing me with how I'm smaller than him >My young dumbass fragile ego gets crushed again
Looking back again I realize it wasn't a big deal, she like me a lot actually so maybe she was coping with my rejections that way or whatever. She used to grab my fingers and pretend it was my dick and suck on them or perform blowjobs on the when we were with friends, it was actually pretty hot. She did it like twice.
I hope this is some AI prototype post because I don't even know how to begin to voice my disgust
Years ago, I have since learned my lesson >bench pressing without a spotter >fail >do the roll of shame and accidentally fart loudly once the barbell rolls over belly
Took a while to recover
A couple day ago, I was doing high step ups on a metal box. Was pretty gassed on the last set and banged my leg pretty badly against it.
I had a deep cut, but I was scared I hit the bone . it's mostly healed now, just very red. Can post it if anyone wants to see.
>see a DYEL bro trying to chat up women while benching 65 >homie why >barge in and load 85 >sarcastically pretend the weight is hard while doing a muscle man voice >"OH NO BRO, EUUUEUUUEUUUURRUUUUGH" >then just casually do it because even as a hapless DYEL 1pl8 was nothing hard for me >bitches leave, the dude stares at me like I'm moronic (was he really wrong lmao)
Call that shit a suicide kill
>wearing my favorite shorts that show off my thighs >commando at the gym >squatting >hit atg >look in mirror >wiener and balls are literally dangling just above the ground >oh shit >lose composure, start struggling >brace myself and start getting the lift up >wiener and balls created a fold in my shorts and now my shorts won't go down >wiener and balls are out during the entire ascent >2 squats left, but I rerack >adjust wiener and balls back in the shorts >look around to see if anyone noticed >at least 3 people were staring at me 2 of them were ladies >run to the bathroom >come out >see a ladies talking to staff >think oh shit I'm fricked >nothing happens
Thank god. I thought forsure I'd get kicked out and arrested
>be me at 16 >5'7 >first month in the gym or so >some guy just finishes doing OHP in the rack >he leaves the barbell as high as possible >I kindly ask if he wouldn't mind lowering it for me >he lowers it one peg so I still can't reach >he turns to me and just blankly stares >after a few seconds I blurt out "what?" >he leaves
keep in mind at this age I had zero idea about the whole manlet bashing thing, I was so pure once
Lmao. Comedy gold. I’m just imagining your tiny ass looking back at him and plaintively saying “what?” as he looks down at you with an unbothered stare from up high.
>wearing my favorite shorts that show off my thighs >commando at the gym >squatting >hit atg >look in mirror >wiener and balls are literally dangling just above the ground >oh shit >lose composure, start struggling >brace myself and start getting the lift up >wiener and balls created a fold in my shorts and now my shorts won't go down >wiener and balls are out during the entire ascent >2 squats left, but I rerack >adjust wiener and balls back in the shorts >look around to see if anyone noticed >at least 3 people were staring at me 2 of them were ladies >run to the bathroom >come out >see a ladies talking to staff >think oh shit I'm fricked >nothing happens
Thank god. I thought forsure I'd get kicked out and arrested
This was almost 10 years ago >Be young dumbass >Be at gym with obese girl friend >She comes up to me with a monitor/pt that works at the gym >She has been going to that gym for a while so she knows the people that work there >She brought him so he can explain to me how to squat because I told her my squats sucked >Autistically and arrogantly say no thanks 🙂 because I had IST and ripptoe so I knew more than anyone >Try to leave >Obese girl friend yells "ANON COME HERE" as she stomps the ground and points at it as if I was a dog >Gym goes silent >I turn around with my fragile 19 yo ego crushed, how could she? >I hear a single boomer sounding man loudly laugh in the background >I go back to her >PT tries to explain to me how to squat, he seemed unfazed by the event, didn't seem to care >Obese girl friend found the situation funny I think
Looking back it wasn't a big deal, not much is anyways, things just come and go. I should have appreciated her trying to bring a PT to explain to me an exercise to help me and appreciate him coming instead of autistically leaving but that was me back then. I have another story with her but it's not gym related. >Get drunk as frick with her and my best friend at the time at my place >One thing leads to another and we end up having kind of a threesome >She sucked our schlongs and my friend tried to penetrate her (they already had sex before with each other while I didn't) >The smell was too awful poor dude ended up in the bathroom puking >He also seemed to have whiskey dick >I end up coming in her face while she sucks me >"Eew it's bitter" she says >Lmao >We celebrate the threesome with my best friend when we are done >She starts crying >Try to calm her down >We try to sleep >She keeps saying she can deepthroat me >Okay let's see >Get on my knees in the bed >All 3 of us were sleeping together in the same bed >She tried to deepthroat >She gags, my valiant 5 incher wins this one
(Cont)
>at gym >qt 3.14 girl doing hip thrusts on a plyo box with headphones >be me squatting >doing top sets >grinding out last rep >let the gnarliest fart rip from my shitbox due to eating combi ation of bone broth, cottage cheese and some egg whites >qt 3.14 comes over to I think ask me to help her put pl8s on >she gets a whiff >asks me if I smelled that >tell her I just ripped ass >she starts laughing >help her with pl8s >walk away like it's no big deal >realize how autistic that was >shrug it off and go do hamstring curls.
>New to deadlifts at the time >First proper day doing heavy for me lmao 3 plate >End up dragging the bar all over my shins to the point where it's gushing all over the bar, floor and shoes. >Bar looks like it's been used in a crime scene >Shoes look like I stomped someone to death >Rush the frick out of the door and have people chasing after me >Don't stop and pretend I have headphones on >Give it a week and I return to the gym to find that bar looking brown/deep red >Shins scarred to this day
Lmao glad I'm not the only one who does that pretend not to notice multiple people shouting at me. I remember when I was walking home drunk once and accidently took a wrong turn and ended up on the motorway. People were yelling me from one of the bridges but I pretended not to notice and just kept powerwalking.
>Was told you should be able to do bodyweight squats on your first day >I assumed this mean my weight = the weight on the bar >Load up the bar with 100kg >Crumple like paper cup >Was wearing jean shorts >Was wearing sandals >Ended up in the ER with a herniated disc
>New to gym around age 19 >Very shy, awkward skinny kid >I gather weights and equipment and go hide in the corner of the yoga room for my workouts >Was trying to learn how to use a skipping rope for the first time and I should could not figure it out >Very uncoordinated and it kept hitting my feet >Suddenly zoomba class enters the yoga room >Trainer guy awkwardly looks at me through the mirror and I pretend not to notice and continue on with my skipping >Guy just starts running his class with me in the corner trying to skip like a moron >I eventually get so exhausted I am just doing lipping sperg hops up and down trying to pretend like I am doing it correctly because I am too embarrassed to leave the room
I've been here before. Was doing some gymnastic work back in college. Cheer leaders used the same room and it was super awkward when they started practice during the middle of my routine. (Super small school, 1st year they ever had cheer so they didn't have stroke to kick me out)
>Age 18 >Saw a girls pussy through her shorts when she was stretching and I kept following her around the gym for an hour hoping she would do it again.
this reminds me of tenth grade. The class room was arranged so that the desks were facing each other on opposite sides of the room, and this girl was wearing a skirt and i could see her (white) panties clearly, so i kept staring. I think she caught on and kept trying to cross her legs to hide it.
i remember one time in high school i was at this event with a bunch of different people from different schools and i was walking around outside with the 10 or so people from my school when i saw the most incredible ass i had ever seen. so i followed the girl around for like 15 minutes and for some reason ALL the other people who were from my school followed me. So there were like a dozen people just following this girl around. God that ass was insane.
>sleep deprived >frick it, leg day I'll go light >warm up with bar >feels weird >had the bar prongs at different heights >oh frick, look around. People saw >meh whatever continue >hit 1.5pl8 >forget clips >half plate slides off >I'm off balance >do whatever I can to not hurt myself >Now everyone's watching >sigh, put everything away and walk out
>go to the gym at open >girl starts going who looks like ruth from ozark >she tries benching, wants a spotter but too shy >works up to 85lbs and it almost kills her >run over and save her, spot her the rest of her set >tell her if she ever needs a spot to just ask
next week >see her setting up on bench again >she's at 85lbs again >i look over and make eye contact >flash a thumbs up, thinking "you got this?" >she nods >i nod and go back to my workout >she waits a bit >unracks, nearly kills herself again >someone else has to save her >realize she was probably confirming she wanted my help and i just nodded and ignored her
she doesn't smile at me anymore.
lol @ girls benching >doing bench >there's a girl benching next to me >keep hearing her giggling >ignore and continue my set >hear her giggling again >look over >she's not giggling, she failed a rep and is choking on the bar >OH SHIT >run over and lift the 60lbs off her neck >thanks me and leaves >never see her again
>doing cable machine pec flys >only person in the gym without earbuds >I find music distracting when I lift, sue me >after a particularly hard set I say "frick that shit is heavy" under my breath >girl next to me laughs >get embarrassed, but manage to say "oops most people can't hear me talking to myself because they're listening to music" >she laughs again and says she forgot her earbuds at home >adds that people who don't listen to music at the gym are insane >I flex both of my arms and say "insanely jacked" >pitylaugh.mp3 >I realize my spaghetti and continue my workout, defeated >she still waves to me whenever I see her, but I'm never talking to her again >I am unironically not going to make it
>I realize my spaghetti and continue my workout, defeated
never apologize for jokes, especially cringe ones.
no thats how society works just because you don`t see it doesn`t mean it isn`t going on even with average women
it`s not a problem to me or anything, I`m simply aware of it
let me guess, under 25? Under 22? That's kid shit, just treat people like people.
should've just asked her name after flexing, you moron. you had that. if she still waves at you, just go and say "hey i never got your name". you people are hopeless
>time to do deadlifts >all deadlift platforms are being used >ask very attractive woman if i could share her platform >she's the only woman deadlifting, but her platform has two bars >she agrees >completely load up bar >all other platforms clear out at the same time >now it looks like i'm just harassing this woman as two of us share one deadlift platform despite there being plenty left
not embarrassing but this happened today >get to gym a little earlier than normal so I see a few people I haven't seen before >head to bench, someone's phone and bottle and shit is on it, weights still on the bar >oh well, I'll use the shittier bench today I guess >as soon as I sit down I realize the dude was in the squat rack, heading back over to the bench >some zoomer with that homosexual curly pompadour hairstyle but with the sides and back shaved sits down on the bench, starts playing on his phone >whatever, start my set >finish set, sit up, squat rack is at my 11:00 from this position so I can see him >he's curling the squat rack bar >up to this point I really did think it was just a IST meme but this kid is actually fricking doing it >I am in genuine disbelief, I thought IST was just shitting it up with another long running inside joke, but no >he's going to the mirror between every set of everything he does, but none of those sets involve the bench press despite leaving the weight on it >he leaves the weight on the bench, and in the squat rack, and moves to the dumbbells and does forearm stuff for a bit, then going to the mirror >lifts his shorts a bit to check out his legs? despite everything he's done being arm stuff so far? what? >takes some little 5lb plates and does lat raises with them but then puts them on the bench and just sits on them >removes the weight from the squat rack bar, takes the bar, and sets it on the bench >with the bar already on the bench still loaded with weight >??? >starts doing wrist curls with the squat rack bar, has not touched the bench press bar at all since I arrived >moving between 5 or 6 different things whilst clogging up the only other bench AND with the squat rack bar still on it, flexing in the mirror after literally every set >get about halfway done with my workout, see him leaving in the mirror >he didn't rerack any of his weights
I don't even know what to feel about this shit. Is this tiktok fitness culture?
Sadly, that atrocious behaviour is not exclusive to zoomers, I've seen 35+ year old roided powershitters doing that crap, even the flexing and taking pics on the mirror in-between sets shit. This type of bullshit is why you either >pay for a fancy enough gym that the membership fee keeps out undesirables (most zoomers, landwhales, dyels and Black folk)
or >stop dicking around and build the home gym of your dreams
every time I fail a squat (read: use too much back to get the weight up) or get a bench up with shitty form I shake my head in case anyone's watching. sometimes as I'm getting the rep up, or after I rack it. I sometimes smile, too.
>years ago, first time in gym >I'm younger and just as stupid as I am now, maybe even moreso >They have some decline situp bench thing you hook your feet into at the top >Doing that, get loads of reps in, feeling great >Basically go to failure >Stop at the bottom like an idiot >Can't do another sit-up to be able to hold on to the top of the bench while I unhook my feet >Unhook them anyway, just kinda of slide down the bench a bit until my head is on the floor >Still can't really get off the bench, lifting my legs would involve some kind of backwards roll with my neck taking all the strain and doesn't seem like a good idea >Slowly sliding into the floor, headfirst >Have no choice but to roll sideways and just sort of fall off the bench >Stand up, pick up my phone and stare intently at it, hoping nobody saw my moronation
>fat roidgay asks for a spot on bench >loads up 365lbs >wow anon that's a lot of weight you sure bro? >tells me not to touch the bar >cranks out 4 reps and racks >tell him nice job and go back to my workout >later people text me "is that you bro?" >realized he recorded the set and posted to social >mocked me for being surprised about the amount of weight and unsure about spotting
Generally speaking your response would definitely be taken negatively by anybody about to bench with any amount of weight. Unless its giga moronic just give a general affirmation and spot the set.
>be me a couple months after discovering IST >extreme dyel >in gym and want to do curls with 20 pound dbs >two gym assistants (guy and girl) were doing a crossfit workout and had dbs from 15 to 30 all laying around them, battle ropes, kettlebells, etc. >playing music off of a bluetooth speaker >get pissed > go up and ask nicely for the 20 lb dbs >the guy just looks at me and doesnt acknowledge >just take the dumbells and start doing hammer curls infront of the mirror >he flips his shit and starts screaming saying im getting kicked out and they are gonna call the manager >everybody else in the gym is like "wtf?" >just ignore him and keep doing curls >he flips out even more and starts wailing on the punching bag >keep doing curls just to make him more mad >he goes to the backroom to talk it out with his coworker and im figuring that im probably getting kicked out. >i assume the manager told him to kick rocks and he comes back out and starts cussing me out under his breath >"your back is bending you weak pussy" >it was, my form was dogshit lol >just keep doing curls and he leaves with the coworker and i hear him scream one final "FRICK!" out in the parking lot. >never see him again at the gym, pretty sure they got fired.
truly what causes people to be like that? every time i meet someone who is just insanely angry and freaks the frick out about trivial shit like that it is completely baffling. like how did they not grow out of throwing tantrums? how does anyone they know put up with them? these people have jobs and girlfriends and just live their lives while having the self-control of an 8 year old. it's so insane.
>new gym >time for powercleans >barbell knurling 404 not found >chalk bowl empty >let's give it a shot >third rep of second warm up set i lose my grip and yeet myself out of the rack >whole gym staring >first reaction is to Wooo like Ric Flair while lying on the floor >bicepmaxxed boomer comes over to check on me >thank him for the gesture >continue workout
I lift at home and it's a saving grace >weekend at parent's >fermented cabbage as a side dish >gives everyone rectal afterburner level farts >next day, deadlift day >feeling extra gaseous >pull 4th rep on 200 kg diddly >tummy feels funny but decide to pull the last 5th rep >mid way up feel my ass opening up >quickly finish the rep with godlike strength, clutching my glutes together, pushing whatever was coming out of my ass back >drop the weight, rush to bathroom, take the most relieving shit in ages
Imagine dude pulling deadlifts and handful of brown chestnuts dropping out off his shorts. Really glad for the homegym
>my roided college professor is right behind me with his wife while she's stretching out >I'm preparing myself to max out on my power clean and press >let out a huge bravo on the way up >scream "SORRY" with the weight on my shoulders >start laugh because I'm nervous and ashamed of what I just did >try to press the weight, but my balance is off due to my irregular breathing and the time I spent with the weight on my shoulder trying to get my shit together >do the classic frick up where one shoulder is higher than the other on the way up >almost snap my shit >let out another bravo >do one step forward >don't lock out >fail the rep >throw the weight on the floor and go home
>be me >see girl doing DB OHP with her back curved way too much >should probably warn her >she has headphones on >tap on her shoulder after she's done with the set >she almost jumps >turns around and looks scared as frick >takes her headphones off >let her know that she should fix her posture or she's going to get hurt >she stutters an "o-okay, thank you" >apologize for scaring her and walk away
Last Saturday I was at the gym I put my hands in my pocket and felt the wrapped paper tissue I'd put my used condom in in order to avoid the dog getting to it. I forgot to throw it in the bin at home and took it to the gym.
Luckily my shorts weren't cum stained lel
>deadlift day (how many start with that?) >cute girl in my gym working out not far from me >I check out her ass often, I think she might check out mine >we have friendly conversations all the time >going for a mod heavy set of 10 deadlift after several warm up sets >every time pulling off the ground I let out a little bit of fart >the tighter I clinch to prevent another fart, the higher the pitch and volume of the fart >after 5 reps, the last being the highest pitch and loudest I stop >don't want to turn around, I know she heard it >I unload my barbell without looking at her, put it all away, leave >she doesn't talk to me anymore at the gym
>she doesn't talk to me anymore at the gym
probably, because you give her insecurity vibes all of the sudden. Why should she stop talking to you just because you farted?
Nothing too crazy, but about a month back I ate and went to lift. I was doing 4pl8 squat, and on the third set I farted at about the halfway point - I had reached my depth and was on the way up. I shit myself a little bit. Got some guy to watch over my station, I went to the washroom and wiped my cheeks, it was just a lil liquid - only a tiny bit on the boxers themselves. I then returned and did my last two sets no problem.
>finishing up leg day >migrate towards leg extensions >latina with extremely fat ass doing back extensions right in front of it >don't want to look like a coomer so I ask her how many sets she has left >wait for her to finish and then move towards leg extensions >she looks confused as she was expecting me to take over her spot >another girl takes over the back extensions instead
I just want to be able to scan around the gym between sets brahs
it's not conspicuous at all. you only think it's conspicuous because you're a creeper. you do realize that everybody already thinks of you as a creeper because you give off creeper energy due to trying not to be creepy, right?
>creeper logic
you're literally too stupid to understand how you're projecting your twisted internal reality onto the unsuspecting outside world, and thereby actually creating a self fulfilling prophecy in which your manifested internal reality sabotages your ability to do what you want. insane.
10 months ago
Anonymous
I cost myself 2 minutes to hopefully be able to look forward without having a face full of ass and feeling like a pervert. If I had moved because a girl took the spot in front of me you might be right. I stead you are as smoothbrained as they come and probably don't even lift anyways
10 months ago
Anonymous
>pathetic schizo cope
fyi, even though i know this bit of wisdom is wasted on you, they already know you're a creeper pervert.
10 months ago
Anonymous
If this was the case then I would have taken the leg extension machine without comment for the opportunity to view prime ass you walnut. Good god you better be trolling and not actually this moronic I swear
10 months ago
Anonymous
>if i weren't so afraid of my imagination i might have had the nuts to enjoy life for a minute
huh, crazy.
10 months ago
Anonymous
I suppose I was just imagining the chick bending over right in front of the equipment I was going to use my bad
10 months ago
Anonymous
Not the guy you’re arguing with but you really are overthinking this dude. It’s one thing if you grab say some dumbbells and walk right behind a woman working out, but to avoid a stationary machine simply because a woman is using another machine in the same vicinity is in fact weirder than just sitting down and using it.
10 months ago
Anonymous
Its not in the vicinity man; its literally right in front of it. It would be tantamount to taking the deadlifting platform for rows behind a girl who was actively squatting. I don't get why this is such a point of contention
10 months ago
Anonymous
i just realized the guy is making stuff up about not wanting to look like a pervert because he is actually just disgusted by a woman's ass. he is literally too gay to use a machine if a woman is in front of him. insane.
I don't know how much more I can do to convey the proximity of these two areas. And I do have some rapport with this particular gym chick so talking to her was zero issue
>squatting lmao 3plate for 5 >rip ass on second or third rep but keep going >thought it was quiet enough that nobody would notice but couldnt tell cuz headphones >end set, was tough but felt good despite the braap >friend comes over to me asking if i farted during my set >tells me everyone heard and looked >mfw
This happened Friday >bench day >185 final warm up >second rep >right hand fricking slips off the bar for no reason at all >bar falls and hits me right below the nipples >dump immediately
right upper rib/abdominal/intercostal/whatever is fricked up, chest is somehow fine
routine for the foreseeable future is looking like dips, db rows (some pain but doable), push ups, face pulls since every other lift I've tried makes me want to scream like tom from Tom & Jerry
>home gym neet >shared garage entrance with individual house's spots for the cars >burp, fart and blast rac music all the time >gotta leave the house for wathever >see neighbour who I have 0 relationship with >smirks at me >h-hello *.*
This happened to me a month ago, still super embarrassing
>Join new gym with a huge pool >playing in pool with my sons after working out >see who can hold breath underwater for the longest >laying on stomach totally relaxed with face underwater >at around 45 seconds hear my wife holler at me, then a few moments later pull me out of the water >turn around and see that it's actually a life guard, and a 100 people are staring at me >also see someone rushing out with a defibulator and a gurney >I'm flabbergasted and start hollering at the female life guard >she's just as shocked and embarrassed as I am after she realized I wasn't drowning >swim around for 5 minutes to save face then skulk home in shame
I didn't scream at her or anything, but good lord I was in 3 feet of water. My boys just watched it all go down to lol
>shoulder/chest day >enter gym with a sea of milfs overtaking the weight area due to their yoga classroom's air conditioning going out in 100° weather >whatever just keep doing my thing >the bench is overtaken by the water bottle of the tallest one in the group >shoulder press first to delay the inevitable >all of a sudden my final set is done >go to the bench to get the tall milf to move her stuff >she notices me walking up. "Oh, did you want this?" >"Y-yes please..."
>want to sign up for gym membership because i heard it will help me get laid >spend months building up the courage to open the front door >finally make it inside the gym, cutie is working the counter >walk up to counter full of confidence >cutie says hi >w-whoops wrong building >fart on the way out and start crying >try to push door open and smash face into it >cutie says: pull! >there is diarrhea coming out of my underwear i can feel it on my leg, i have to get out >pull the door open and it scrapes my big toe nail back >scream in pain, afraid to look down >build up courage to glance down and the blood is welling out all over my slide >old woman next to me retches at the fart stench & looks down at my toe then vomits >hear the counter lady say oh my god >i do the butt shuffle out while i'm crying and shit is soaking my underwear and blood is pouring out of my toe onto my slides and the floor
>on smart days he just knows to lock up all the doors unplug the phones >on stupid days he decides it would be a good idea to go outside >those are sad days when they come >those are sad days when they come
>bench pressing >fail >I don't have safeties on so it's fine >see guy rushing to save me >"IT'S OKAY, IT'S OKAY" I yell >he stops a few feet away and just stares at me >i let the weights drop to the ground as he continues staring silently >he finally goes after I rerack bar >feel like I just caused a scene with others looking at me for rejecting him
it is a sure thing, homosexual. your autistic head canon isn't reality. the false dilemma you invented in which your decision to apologize somehow makes you the hero isn't real. it's all in your head.
So you don't know basic social etiquette, and you don't know what a dilemma is. I'm going to put your posts on the "21 year old lifter with low self estreem" account and forgive you.
10 months ago
Anonymous
>schizo cope
utterly btfo'd ahah
10 months ago
Anonymous
It's "false dichotomy", you cretin.
10 months ago
Anonymous
>it's false dichotomy >it's false dilemma >it's bifurcation >it's black/white fallacy
unlike you, i don't even have to google it.
10 months ago
Anonymous
Unlike me you argue with strangers on Peruvian lama herding forum despite not being drugged diagnosed schizophrenic, so there is no excuses for you.
10 months ago
Anonymous
no excuse necessary, kiddo
I wouldn't have to if Black folk like you learned what words mean and said the correct ones.
>my autism gets in the way of just reading things in good faith
wow i bet your fun at parties lol
>be absent minded lately
(get good sleep, anons) >be sending lovey dovey message to gf >have to double check i didn’t send that into one of the many random meme group chats i’m in on snapchat
no one must see my gay lovey dovey side. i want to larp as “sigma” meme man
i forgot to warm up for squats and collapsed immediately. a fat chink was laughing his ass off at me and dropped the bar for lat pulldowns, an arab dude next to me looked very concerned, but gave me 'eyes' all night.
Kurwa
Just spit out my beer
>leg day
>was feeling eh all day but whatever
>go to the gym and start squating
>feel a powerful fart coming right at the bottom
>uh oh, not a fart, definitely a shart
>luckily gym was empty
>hobble over to the bathroom and wipe the shit off
>door right next to the bathroom outside
>throw soiled undies out the door
>power walk out of the gym but notice little pool of shit water in the squat rack
>as I'm leaving 3 guys enter
>the one time you forget your squat plug
Why are there so many stories of people shitting themselves, do you genuinely not feel the difference?
If your shitskin and intolerant, I noticed it's hard to detect shits and farts
>your
It's **you're you fricking moron chink.
>jokes on you, I am moronic
idk man, people must have pretty awful diets, or else they're eating something that their body doesn't tolerate
pretty much the only time i get loose shits these days is after drinking like 50 beers
Americans solely survive on a diet of cornsyrup and vegetable oil. They drink gallons of each on a daily basis then liquid shit themselves whenever they cough or sneeze
Most Americans don't properly wipe so they're walking around with shit in their butts so they can't tell apart the outside poop from the inside one since it all feels the same so they end up pooping themselves
For me it's that I don't want to interrupt my workout and I don't like sitting with sweaty ass on toilet seat, kinda feels weird. So I want to hold it, but sometimes it burst out a little. Luckily I'm home gym master race.
Goddamn american "food" is actually poison
don't the japanese eat a fish that is actually poison? you stupid 3rd world cuck
Amerimutts are the only country that has the word "shart" and countless non handicapped, non elderly adult people who shart daily
>he said, shitting directly in the street
they remove the poison sack doofus. Amerimutt education
>Fugu is served as sashimi and nabemono. The liver was served as a traditional dish named fugu-kimo, being widely thought to be a tasty part, but it is also the most poisonous, and serving this organ in restaurants was banned in Japan in 1984. Fugu has become one of the most celebrated dishes in Japanese and Korean cuisine.
>Also mutts are the healthiest types of dogs
You non Americans are pathetic, no wonder we rule the world
Living rent free in minds all over the world!
USA! USA!
I've yet to shit myself at the gym, but with my IBS and heavy squats I know it's going to happen some day. It's been damn close a few times.
I'm actually more afraid of shitting during deadlifts though, it's the grind in which you squeeze your entire being into firmness I feel is the biggest risk.
I don't even fart, wtf. I can feel it coming sometimes but at worst I secretly fart in between sets.
Always take a shit beforehand.
Is this it? I'm in eastern europe and eat good
>deadlift day
>find a spot to set up bar and weights
>finish first warm up set
>add weights
>finish second warm up set
>add weights
>finish third warm up set
>add weights
>go drink from water fountain before working sets
>see gym PT putting weights away
guess I'm done for the day
Keep a water bottle. A big one. Also when you see people doing that ask them what they think they're doing. Don't let people walk over you lmao.
>hey sorry bro I am not done yet, just went for for water
>sorry
homosexual
Being polite is not weakness, being a rude frick however is a sign of insecurity and a pathologic desire to mark territory
>polite
apologizing when there's nothing to apologize for isn't being polite, it's being a disingenuous spineless twerp. giving meaningless valueless apologies is insultingly homosexualy. oh my god i am so sorry that i'm using that and i'm sorry that i have to say something that i'm sorry about and i'm also sorry to ask if you wouldn't be too sorry to please let me keep doing so sir?
I see you have autism. "Sorry" is not actually an apology when used in a context like this, it's a way of showing respect. Instead of saying "that's my rack", which is very direct and might come off as aggressive, you say "I'm sorry, that's my rack". Again, there's no actual apology here, this is just how language is used, but I know social norms are difficult to understand for autists.
"sorry" isn't a sign of respect, it's a submissive gesture, lmao. "that's my rack" isn't the only alternative to "sorry". actually it's you who has autism, as demonstrated by your utterly moronic explanation.
Sure thing buddy. Sure thing.
>hey I'm still using those
Are you people really this scared of talking to other humans?
>Hey, I am using that
or alternatively the more aggro
>why are you touching my bar?
I had a boomer once coming into my rack half squatting my OHP weight while I was gone for 2 minutes to get water and have a piss.
I explained to him that it's common gym etiquette to not touch a loaded bar, he started with his boomerisms displaying that he is unworthy of courtesy and respect, so I explicitly told him to frick off.
If you let them, morons and buttholes are going to step on you.
>boomerisms
>"it was open and I pay just as much as you and I am the assistant vice manager at..."
Frick gym boomers.
This can't be real. Demand the moron to put the weights back on the bar. Start speaking louder and try to humiliate him to the rest of the gym. homosexual PTs live and die on their image.
>be me in office gym after work
>only 3 or 4 people ever use it and just me and one leanmaxxed Indian guy use it multiple times per week
>usually he finishes on the treadmill as I'm starting my squats then it's just me
>one day feel a fart coming on after he leaves
>don't fart for a while but then figure what the hell no one has ever walked in while I'm working out
>fart
>immediately a coworker rounds the corner, sees me through window and comes in to talk
>have whole conversation in fart cloud
>he leaves, I go back to lifting
>5 minutes later fart again
>it happens AGAIN, another coworker sees me and enthusiastically enters room to talk
>have another conversation in heavier fart cloud
kek They for sure smelled that and now are talking about you being stinky behind your back..
I wonder if he "drinks Sprite"
STOP WITH THE INSIDE JOKES I DONT WANNA BE PART OF THIS COMMUNITY
Calm down, Sprite Pat.
Hahahahahha holy frick it’s sprite Pete
gas em and pass em
That's what I do to stop wasting time talking about the weather
Stop stealing my moves
hold it so you can crop dust them bro
Is that Patrick Warburton?
Yes
Would lifting have saved him?
>be me
>neet home gym gay
>use a piss jug to collect piss so I don't have to flush the toilet as much
>liftan in the garage during summer
>dripping sweat and drinking water
>piss jug is nearly full
>go to top it off near the end of my sesh
>close the lid but it slips from my hands
>it crashes to the floor directly on the lid
>lid breaks
>uh oh
>piss spills all over the garage
>upright the container then run inside to grab some towels and cleaning supplies
>clean the mess
>garage still smells like piss
>use piss bottle so I don't have to flush toilet as much
why are you this stupid?
nta but it's actually pretty convenient once you get used to it, comes in handy in a pinch if your roommate is showering or something and you gotta piss
the problem is that anon opted for using one without a fricking CAP
i piss in the sink
they are trolling you a trainer would only do this because she thinks she can get a sale out of you. She never wanted ur D she wanted you to buy 1000 dollar training pack
t. Personal trainer
Is this a bot post?
probably meant to reply to
Sounds about right, homies spitting real game
>he is unable to read between the lines
Nobody gets a piss jug cause they want to, they get peer pressure by stacy trainers
You know you don’t have to flush the toilet every time you piss right?
>ameripoos don’t flush their toilet to save water money
>dehydration detected
and to save water, its normal in countries with less drink water.
If you leave piss in the toilet it stains and then you have to use chemicals to clean it
>his piss isn’t mostly clear
Never said anything about not flushing shits c**t
A bit of piss isn’t going to do anything
Even clear piss will stain the toilet over time
Are you implying that you never clean your toilet?
you should do a small water dose flush if you toilet has that function
Just piss in the sink
>garage still smells like piss
I too use a piss jug my friend.
Piss in the sink. There's literally no reason not to except for stupid, illogical social conditioning.
>flush my piss with 3 gallons of water
>or
>flush my piss with a quarter of a cup of water
vinegar. piss smell comes out with white vinegar. vinegar smell goes away as it dries.
you're welcome.
>vinegar. piss smell comes out with white vinegar. vinegar smell goes away as it dries.
If it doesn't you can always add more piss to cover the vingegar smell.
>Khemistree
Fricking hell this just happened to me recently.
It's about a girl. Or woman.
>Go switch to new gym closer by because friend stopped working out
>A trainer that goes there gets to talking to me when I go there, she gets very close to talking about me and her
>Spunky, a bit tan, she's kinda boyish in mannerisms but I don't mind, taps my shoulder, pushes me, slaps my lower back when I'm squatting.
>She asks what I eat, tells me I can eat better food and cooks food to bring me when I go over to the gym so I can snack on it later during work
>We play around a bit, after her training sessions she'd spend extra time with me in other classes like cycling, sprinting etc.
>Think she likes me
>Friends tell me dude she likes you, good signs just ask her out etc.
>Decide to man up, ask her if she wants to date
>"Oh sorry anon, but I'm not really interested in you. We can still be friends right?"
>Thought 100% she liked me so this stunned me and I replied
>"umm no thanks, I think it would be best if we just go back to just you know being a trainer and me being a gym goer."
>She's taken back from the response
>Walk to my usual weights and go back to lifting
>Can see her from corner of my eye when moving around, her staring at me across the gym while she's training someone else
>Finishing my set walk away
>She comes up to me
>Hey anon you forgot here I cooked this nice meal! I spent some extra time getting the sauce right it's pretty good I made one for myself see?
>"thanks but no thanks I got my own lunch for today no need to bring food anymore"
>Walk out see her just standing there holding food as I'm walking to my car
>Drive away last glance see her sitting there on a bench looking disappointed
>Next time I came over
>Usual sign in dude is there, and with some trainers
>Hey anon! what happened with X? What did you do to her?
>explain what happened.
>Yeah she walked out the break room like she was in tears yesterday, didn't want to talk about it.
Man I suck at green texting just for clarification.
I told her that I just didn't want to be friend with her. I had feelings for her bros. I don't know but I felt bad at that moment and just decided to nuke it all instead of keeping her as a friend. I don't know if you guys think I'm an butthole for this but I feel like it would hurt like hell to see her and another guy while just pretending like I don't care because I'm her friend.
if not a troll you did the right thing. imagine being a simp after being rejected
>I feel like it would hurt like hell to see her and another guy while just pretending like I don't care because I'm her friend.
I think you should tell her that and see what she thinks. She seems cool from how you talked about her so at least she'd understand and be more so acquaintances. Not sure why she's so invested in you though given how she was acting around you.
She sees him as a MARK. She’s emotionally manipulating him to buy sessions with her. She is 100% not interested romantically. She sees a spergy dyel guy who looks like hes got money
Way to steal the original pasta and tweak it just enough new gays wont notice
Good thing it was way too much for me to read.
You’re right,
is a homosexual LARPer
I don't get this. Why'd she fricking reject him if she's just gonna cry about it later? The frick is wrong with people. "Love" the grows from friendship is the best. Shit like this is a constant reminder that women do not "feel" or "think", and they just operate reflexively. Even a modicum of forethought would've revealed that either the guy is into her, or her not being into him was going to change their relationship. Being driven to tears by the consequences of your own actions would serve as a lesson to your average bloke, but she will remain incapable of understanding how she was responsible for her own situation.
Really activates the fricking almonds.
It's simple, she thought he was a friend, didn't see him as a sexual/romantic prospect, and assumed it was mutual (projection). Then she found out he liked her, wasn't interested and consequently lost him as a friend. She was sad so she tried to get him to like her again. It didn't work so she cried i.e. grieved the loss of a friend. She might be a devious sociopath who knew he liked her and conspired to keep him on her hook but you can't get that from the story.
Women are not actually complicated in general. Just think about what you would have done when you were a kid, that is what a woman will usually do.
I think she also might be thinking she can be that social butterfly king b***h trainer at the gym.
In order to be that she (subconsiously) thinks she needs to amass enough orbiters, complusively run around and instruct people and also bring them meals etc.
That and she probably has a thing for taking care of people and thinks it will increase her value as a trainer and being perceived as "doing a good job"
That and females always love any male attention they don`t have to compensate by having sex and delude themselves into thinking they can have "friendships" with males.
That and women also like to just talk to a whole bunch of males first, keep multiple options open just figuring out which one seems to be the best prospect, never actually going through for a relationship or anything sexually beyond light flirting.
They are completely fine having the large elephant of "relationship / sex / etc" completely untouched even if it`s taking up 80% of the space of the room, as long as it means she can just get away with getting your attention or whatever else it is she wants.
The gym is the perfect spot for this because here the female trainer can even get away with touching you, as she is "just instructing" you.
Even an IQ 50 person would be aware of the elephant.
The moment when you confront her and talk about an actual relationship terrifies her because that forces her to make an actual decision.
She loves flying around anywhere, not making a decision, ever, and keeping options open til forever.
Even if she might be keeping you as a "beta orbiter" in her mind anyways, at the point where you confront her, but she isn`t at that state already, she will then deny any attraction and say "we are friends".
Apart from that yeah it was a pasta and probably never happens.
Bringing you meals and pestering you with attention, touches and smiles etc., come on. That`s way beyond what a normal trainer does at a gym, unless she would have been booked and payed by the hour (apart from your gym fee) or something. That`s not normal.
Many women are so used to having orbiters, that they instinctively and routinely use them for attention (or help in housework, money, meals, etc.) and have them booked as "friends" in their head, but on a subconscious level still know they really do want sex, and will actually resort to using one of those many orbiters as a bounce back temporary boyfriend if she`s trying to get back at her ex or extremely bored and somehow out of options.
Also, if you don`t explicitely make it obvious you want something sexual from the start, women will put you in this type of "friend zone".
You don`t really get out there by just straight up asking for a relationship, that turns them off even more.
Basically they want to be straight up groped from the start, but it takes chemistry for them to allow it. Then sex naturally happens and then after that is when she will call it a "relationshit".
schizo but true
I can't comprehend those type of females, and I wonder what type of man would settle with someone like that
Black person who cares if my friend doesn't like me. There's never been one point in my life that if a friend of mine left me I would have cared. Even as a kid.
>ooh no, Bobby thinks I'm an butthole, he'll never play Smash with me
Wow I'm so taken back, at a lost for words. How can I cope? I can't discuss my favorite zombie e-girl manga with Joe anymore, what a greek tragedy.
Hell, if you feel sad that a friend left you, all right I get it. But to TEARS? To motherfricking tears? Almost all friendships aren't that deep. And this ended not from betrayl or hurt, but from the guy saying "I don't want to be with you if you won't frick me"
>You don`t really get out there by just straight up asking for a relationship, that turns them off even more.
This type of reasoning seems the best in my life. Just talking to them a bit, then asking to coffee gets me results. I wonder if you do have a female friend, how do you convince them to hook up with her friends?
>if you feel sad that a friend left you, all right I get it. But to TEARS? To motherfricking tears?
Women cry anon.
Yes, casual talk, then a date, then if chemistry is right you can touch / kiss her and whatever.
But not: casual talk for days, no mention of sex / date / anything, and then one day show up "Hey you`ve been oddly nice to me lately, what about a relationship?" It`s too upfront for them. If she said "yes" right there she would allow you to skip all the in between steps where you are supposed to have a connection that is somewhat SEXUAL, beyond just "nice", touching each other, talking about actual sexual things, maybe kissing, etc.
If you think a woman might be interested, ask her for an exclusive date (only you two around) first, there you can start building chemistry, if she`s even interested.
If you start out in a bar or a club, that is basically your date already and you can start flirting right away and then move on to dancing with her (and what is basically sexual groping) if that`s the type of girl or she is drunk, and she`s into you sexually, you can then also take her home, or go to her home, and frick her. That`s not necessarily a relationship though, that would be casual sex. You frick her, you wake up sober and realize wtf and leave each other right there.
That type of thing is way more easy with alcohol involved, which is one of the reasons why it`s prohibited so heavily in the US. (I`m not from the us)
this, you don't have to frick every girl who can stand your company
>every woman in the world is a Machiavellian schemer
get some help
Every average girl today has tons of options and males who give her attention in hopes of sex i.e. orbiters. That does not equate to being a schemer. It happens naturally even to kind and pure girls.
I`m simply explaining to you in simple terms.
These were all likelyhoods in order to explain the pasta situation, not definites.
Noone is "wanting to frick every girl who is behaving nice in anormal way" towards you.
The trainer in the pasta was going out of her way to shower the gymgoer with attention and gifts so he had reason enough to wonder about it.
your opinions on women are very obviously informed by the internet and not real life.
no thats how society works just because you don`t see it doesn`t mean it isn`t going on even with average women
it`s not a problem to me or anything, I`m simply aware of it
It sounds like she genuinely liked him and would have dated him. All he had to do was literally wrestle her to the ground when she challenged him. That was his opening. Instead he was a sperg and used his words, not his actions. So she reflexively denies because he was not only boring but broke all sorts of cues. She was still giving this fricker outs to make an actual move and instead he doubles and triples down on his autism. She was clearly trying to rekindle the relationship to give him another opportunity to make a legitimate physical move.
You guys don’t know about socks off.
Frick yeah, time to learn bois.
It’s a co-ed game we used to play in high school when we would drink, it’s really simple.
Clear out the living room or just a big space on the floor (or grass outside).
Both players square off starting on their knees, and your goal is to get the other person’s socks off. That’s it.
It gets wildly fricking intense and is a great excuse for physical contact.
Women don’t even care because shit gets fricking real.
You should’ve challenged her to socks off, anon.
Y’all out here arguing about pissing in sinks and I’m trying to teach you how to wrestle women.
ngmi my guys
I got a foot fetish and my tally whacker would get hard playing that game ngl
Sorry sweaties but you're not entitled to a man's platonic companionship
I bet these fricking idiots feel fricking good over this. They think they're Sasuke or some edgy anime character when they walk away, with Linkin park playing in the back. Fricking autistic.
You're just being a huge fricking piece of shit to a friend for no fricking reason other than being butthurt that you got rejected. And then you're wonder why they feel like shit when you treat them like shit.
Then again, this board is the mental illness central, look at this clueless autist.
>t. either roastie or homosexual
Black person if two people want irrevocably different things out of a relationship, why would they keep up the charade after it is made clear that it simply won't happen?
For him, it's better to cut contact than to become a jaded orbiter. For her, it should be better to let go of a potential friend after he's made it clear he just wants to get into her pants, yet stupid roasties still insist on collecting orbiters because it's more convenient to maintaint the status quo and try to completely disregard the others' feelings.
>to a friend
? But they're not friends
I feel like I've felt this already
the last part gave it away
yep
that's the one
>bro can I copy your homework? I'll change it a bit so the teacher won't notice
Kys
if she rejects you that doesn't mean you should treat her like an absolute butthole.
you did the right thing Anon something similiar happend to me at work
Reracking weights a few nights ago. Turn my head quickly and smash into the metal part the weight goes on.
Very jarring, probably bleeding, try to play it off and immediately goto locker room.
Not gushing blood, but have small 1/8 inch cut in forehead with ' goose egg'. Shower and leave early.
Not my embarassing story but I had to rush over and help some guy out from under a failed squat. Hope it doesn't discourage him from going to failure, just set the safeties higher next time.
I don't understand people like that. They just put the safeties at the lowest possible rung, as it for decoration and don't even test if they work. When I first used safeties like that I practiced with quarter pl8s to see how failing should look and if my ROM would cover it. Had to experiment to find the optimal height. Do people literally not think about their own safety while lifting heavy?
Some people are dumb. I don't practice failing but I do check the safeties are high enough to catch the bar without reducing ROM (too much - the slots are too far apart to get the exact optimum height).
>few weeks ago doing incline bench
>chest is weak as shit so I'm using b***h weight, 95lbs
>feel a good pump going, can feel my chest responding to the workout
>decide to be macho and add a whopping 10lbs
>get to 6th rep, barely push it out, aiming for 8
>lower bar to chest on 7th
>can't lift it back up
>frick
>don't want to embarrass myself so I try to not make a scene but people noticed anyways, incline bench is dead center of room
>lower bar to my legs and start rolling
>shortstack Latina milf who I've seen around a lot comes over and starts helping me out
>gives me a playful motherly lecture about knowing my limits and being careful, taking longer breaks between sets to make sure you can do it, etc
>tells me she's a personal trainer and if I need help or have questions since we're there at the same time so often
>thank her, go about my workout
>every workout after that day, she grins and waves at me when she or I walk in
>catch her eyeing me in the mirror sometimes and quickly looking away
>she has a face like a leather bag from the naturally darker skin or just general tanning
>but has an incredible ass and does ass workouts nearly every session
embarrassed about failing the 100 pound incline press because I can lift almost 2 plates on normal bench, but it put me on friendly terms with a fat assed milf so I'll take it.
>he failed on his 7th rep
Enjoy your 0 gains
>have giant nuts
>use any machine
>giant thigh and nut stain is left on the leather
>see women look in visible disgust at the machine before using it
Once I lose a bit of weight, I think the stain will get a lot more obscene.
based, trust the science
>doesn't wipe equipment down
I like to leave a ballprint
>not cleaning the equipment you left drenched in sweat
Black person
you WILL stare at the perfect impression of my oversized testicles and you WILL be happy
Counts as 6 reps and he lifted until failure. Gains galore.
Nice
boy you better destroy that ass
>100 pound incline press because I can lift almost 2 plates on normal bench
how does this happen?
youre prob half repping those 2 plates
He said "almost." I'm wondering what he counts as "almost." Could be he thinks 180 is close, for all we know.
I cant imagine someone capable of flat benching 180 not being able to incline at least 1pl8
Congratulations, you achieved failure B)
This was almost 10 years ago
>Be young dumbass
>Be at gym with obese girl friend
>She comes up to me with a monitor/pt that works at the gym
>She has been going to that gym for a while so she knows the people that work there
>She brought him so he can explain to me how to squat because I told her my squats sucked
>Autistically and arrogantly say no thanks 🙂 because I had IST and ripptoe so I knew more than anyone
>Try to leave
>Obese girl friend yells "ANON COME HERE" as she stomps the ground and points at it as if I was a dog
>Gym goes silent
>I turn around with my fragile 19 yo ego crushed, how could she?
>I hear a single boomer sounding man loudly laugh in the background
>I go back to her
>PT tries to explain to me how to squat, he seemed unfazed by the event, didn't seem to care
>Obese girl friend found the situation funny I think
Looking back it wasn't a big deal, not much is anyways, things just come and go. I should have appreciated her trying to bring a PT to explain to me an exercise to help me and appreciate him coming instead of autistically leaving but that was me back then. I have another story with her but it's not gym related.
>Get drunk as frick with her and my best friend at the time at my place
>One thing leads to another and we end up having kind of a threesome
>She sucked our schlongs and my friend tried to penetrate her (they already had sex before with each other while I didn't)
>The smell was too awful poor dude ended up in the bathroom puking
>He also seemed to have whiskey dick
>I end up coming in her face while she sucks me
>"Eew it's bitter" she says
>Lmao
>We celebrate the threesome with my best friend when we are done
>She starts crying
>Try to calm her down
>We try to sleep
>She keeps saying she can deepthroat me
>Okay let's see
>Get on my knees in the bed
>All 3 of us were sleeping together in the same bed
>She tried to deepthroat
>She gags, my valiant 5 incher wins this one
(Cont)
>My best friend jokingly says to cut it or he will join too
Now that I'm telling the story I rember something about taking her to the bathroom or some shit to finish but I don't remember if she didn't want or I didn't want because I honestly didn't wanna frick her lmao. Anyways
>Next morning
>Tease her saying she couldn't deepthroat me
>"It was because of the alcohol" she says
>Accompany her to the bus
>She asks me if I would have done it sober
>Be honest and tell her no
>Apparently my friend has a bigger schlong than me
>She starts teasing me with how I'm smaller than him
>My young dumbass fragile ego gets crushed again
Looking back again I realize it wasn't a big deal, she like me a lot actually so maybe she was coping with my rejections that way or whatever. She used to grab my fingers and pretend it was my dick and suck on them or perform blowjobs on the when we were with friends, it was actually pretty hot. She did it like twice.
pretty unpleasant story dude
Do you tell people this shit who actually know you?
You sound moronic
3rd world moron
God i'm glad i'm not you
these got me laughing loudly at work
thank you
very funny if these stories are true
I hope this is some AI prototype post because I don't even know how to begin to voice my disgust
Second story was genuinely horrible I couldn't even read the shit.
How could you frick such a beast?
That threesome story is some depressing shit my man
Years ago, I have since learned my lesson
>bench pressing without a spotter
>fail
>do the roll of shame and accidentally fart loudly once the barbell rolls over belly
Took a while to recover
A couple day ago, I was doing high step ups on a metal box. Was pretty gassed on the last set and banged my leg pretty badly against it.
I had a deep cut, but I was scared I hit the bone . it's mostly healed now, just very red. Can post it if anyone wants to see.
yeah post it bro!!!
woo
Here ya go. Stopped hurting on the same day. Tool the weekend to stay at home, should be ready to go by tomorrow
Frick forgot this
dayum
>see a DYEL bro trying to chat up women while benching 65
>homie why
>barge in and load 85
>sarcastically pretend the weight is hard while doing a muscle man voice
>"OH NO BRO, EUUUEUUUEUUUURRUUUUGH"
>then just casually do it because even as a hapless DYEL 1pl8 was nothing hard for me
>bitches leave, the dude stares at me like I'm moronic (was he really wrong lmao)
Call that shit a suicide kill
>wearing my favorite shorts that show off my thighs
>commando at the gym
>squatting
>hit atg
>look in mirror
>wiener and balls are literally dangling just above the ground
>oh shit
>lose composure, start struggling
>brace myself and start getting the lift up
>wiener and balls created a fold in my shorts and now my shorts won't go down
>wiener and balls are out during the entire ascent
>2 squats left, but I rerack
>adjust wiener and balls back in the shorts
>look around to see if anyone noticed
>at least 3 people were staring at me 2 of them were ladies
>run to the bathroom
>come out
>see a ladies talking to staff
>think oh shit I'm fricked
>nothing happens
Thank god. I thought forsure I'd get kicked out and arrested
I've literally never seen gym staff intervening/interacting with anyone. Is this an American thing?
Based kommandolifter, my wiener and balls always are obvious in sweats but i cant wear underwear at the gym. Too much chafing and sweating
>wearing my favorite shorts that show off my thighs
homosexual
put pants on
>omg the plane hit the tower below us, theres no way out
>my reaction to that information
>be me at 16
>5'7
>first month in the gym or so
>some guy just finishes doing OHP in the rack
>he leaves the barbell as high as possible
>I kindly ask if he wouldn't mind lowering it for me
>he lowers it one peg so I still can't reach
>he turns to me and just blankly stares
>after a few seconds I blurt out "what?"
>he leaves
keep in mind at this age I had zero idea about the whole manlet bashing thing, I was so pure once
>>he lowers it one peg so I still can't reach
>>he turns to me and just blankly stares
frickin lost kek
I'm sorry that happened to you but that's really fricking funny
Lmao. Comedy gold. I’m just imagining your tiny ass looking back at him and plaintively saying “what?” as he looks down at you with an unbothered stare from up high.
bots
>5'7
When will they learn?
LMAOOOOO
>t. 5'7.5 Gigachad
>at gym
>qt 3.14 girl doing hip thrusts on a plyo box with headphones
>be me squatting
>doing top sets
>grinding out last rep
>let the gnarliest fart rip from my shitbox due to eating combi ation of bone broth, cottage cheese and some egg whites
>qt 3.14 comes over to I think ask me to help her put pl8s on
>she gets a whiff
>asks me if I smelled that
>tell her I just ripped ass
>she starts laughing
>help her with pl8s
>walk away like it's no big deal
>realize how autistic that was
>shrug it off and go do hamstring curls.
that was actually a chad move, bro. Denying it only makes it worse.
>New to deadlifts at the time
>First proper day doing heavy for me lmao 3 plate
>End up dragging the bar all over my shins to the point where it's gushing all over the bar, floor and shoes.
>Bar looks like it's been used in a crime scene
>Shoes look like I stomped someone to death
>Rush the frick out of the door and have people chasing after me
>Don't stop and pretend I have headphones on
>Give it a week and I return to the gym to find that bar looking brown/deep red
>Shins scarred to this day
Post shins
Lmao glad I'm not the only one who does that pretend not to notice multiple people shouting at me. I remember when I was walking home drunk once and accidently took a wrong turn and ended up on the motorway. People were yelling me from one of the bridges but I pretended not to notice and just kept powerwalking.
>Was told you should be able to do bodyweight squats on your first day
>I assumed this mean my weight = the weight on the bar
>Load up the bar with 100kg
>Crumple like paper cup
>Was wearing jean shorts
>Was wearing sandals
>Ended up in the ER with a herniated disc
It's been about 10 years since.
Good morning sir.
Kek nice larp about the pasta. I remember that thread.
Omfg lmfaooooooooooooooooo
Wew lad needed a laugh keeeeeeeeeeek
classic
>New to gym around age 19
>Very shy, awkward skinny kid
>I gather weights and equipment and go hide in the corner of the yoga room for my workouts
>Was trying to learn how to use a skipping rope for the first time and I should could not figure it out
>Very uncoordinated and it kept hitting my feet
>Suddenly zoomba class enters the yoga room
>Trainer guy awkwardly looks at me through the mirror and I pretend not to notice and continue on with my skipping
>Guy just starts running his class with me in the corner trying to skip like a moron
>I eventually get so exhausted I am just doing lipping sperg hops up and down trying to pretend like I am doing it correctly because I am too embarrassed to leave the room
lmao i feel for ya. i dont have it that bad but it still sucks.
my fricking sides
I've been here before. Was doing some gymnastic work back in college. Cheer leaders used the same room and it was super awkward when they started practice during the middle of my routine. (Super small school, 1st year they ever had cheer so they didn't have stroke to kick me out)
>Age 18
>Saw a girls pussy through her shorts when she was stretching and I kept following her around the gym for an hour hoping she would do it again.
this reminds me of tenth grade. The class room was arranged so that the desks were facing each other on opposite sides of the room, and this girl was wearing a skirt and i could see her (white) panties clearly, so i kept staring. I think she caught on and kept trying to cross her legs to hide it.
i remember one time in high school i was at this event with a bunch of different people from different schools and i was walking around outside with the 10 or so people from my school when i saw the most incredible ass i had ever seen. so i followed the girl around for like 15 minutes and for some reason ALL the other people who were from my school followed me. So there were like a dozen people just following this girl around. God that ass was insane.
>sleep deprived
>frick it, leg day I'll go light
>warm up with bar
>feels weird
>had the bar prongs at different heights
>oh frick, look around. People saw
>meh whatever continue
>hit 1.5pl8
>forget clips
>half plate slides off
>I'm off balance
>do whatever I can to not hurt myself
>Now everyone's watching
>sigh, put everything away and walk out
>go to the gym at open
>girl starts going who looks like ruth from ozark
>she tries benching, wants a spotter but too shy
>works up to 85lbs and it almost kills her
>run over and save her, spot her the rest of her set
>tell her if she ever needs a spot to just ask
next week
>see her setting up on bench again
>she's at 85lbs again
>i look over and make eye contact
>flash a thumbs up, thinking "you got this?"
>she nods
>i nod and go back to my workout
>she waits a bit
>unracks, nearly kills herself again
>someone else has to save her
>realize she was probably confirming she wanted my help and i just nodded and ignored her
she doesn't smile at me anymore.
why do girls even bench?
lol @ girls benching
>doing bench
>there's a girl benching next to me
>keep hearing her giggling
>ignore and continue my set
>hear her giggling again
>look over
>she's not giggling, she failed a rep and is choking on the bar
>OH SHIT
>run over and lift the 60lbs off her neck
>thanks me and leaves
>never see her again
>doing cable machine pec flys
>only person in the gym without earbuds
>I find music distracting when I lift, sue me
>after a particularly hard set I say "frick that shit is heavy" under my breath
>girl next to me laughs
>get embarrassed, but manage to say "oops most people can't hear me talking to myself because they're listening to music"
>she laughs again and says she forgot her earbuds at home
>adds that people who don't listen to music at the gym are insane
>I flex both of my arms and say "insanely jacked"
>pitylaugh.mp3
>I realize my spaghetti and continue my workout, defeated
>she still waves to me whenever I see her, but I'm never talking to her again
>I am unironically not going to make it
should've doubled down and played it off as a joke
>I realize my spaghetti and continue my workout, defeated
never apologize for jokes, especially cringe ones.
let me guess, under 25? Under 22? That's kid shit, just treat people like people.
should've just asked her name after flexing, you moron. you had that. if she still waves at you, just go and say "hey i never got your name". you people are hopeless
dude, you were in. capitalise on your lame jokes. chicks do not mind a stinker if you say it confidently.
You were literally one "I'm Anon haha, see you around" away from making it
5 newbies didn't recognize this one, wow
right? I miss the old days when this site had a bit more people who understood subtext
>time to do deadlifts
>all deadlift platforms are being used
>ask very attractive woman if i could share her platform
>she's the only woman deadlifting, but her platform has two bars
>she agrees
>completely load up bar
>all other platforms clear out at the same time
>now it looks like i'm just harassing this woman as two of us share one deadlift platform despite there being plenty left
lmeo that's some funny shit
not embarrassing but this happened today
>get to gym a little earlier than normal so I see a few people I haven't seen before
>head to bench, someone's phone and bottle and shit is on it, weights still on the bar
>oh well, I'll use the shittier bench today I guess
>as soon as I sit down I realize the dude was in the squat rack, heading back over to the bench
>some zoomer with that homosexual curly pompadour hairstyle but with the sides and back shaved sits down on the bench, starts playing on his phone
>whatever, start my set
>finish set, sit up, squat rack is at my 11:00 from this position so I can see him
>he's curling the squat rack bar
>up to this point I really did think it was just a IST meme but this kid is actually fricking doing it
>I am in genuine disbelief, I thought IST was just shitting it up with another long running inside joke, but no
>he's going to the mirror between every set of everything he does, but none of those sets involve the bench press despite leaving the weight on it
>he leaves the weight on the bench, and in the squat rack, and moves to the dumbbells and does forearm stuff for a bit, then going to the mirror
>lifts his shorts a bit to check out his legs? despite everything he's done being arm stuff so far? what?
>takes some little 5lb plates and does lat raises with them but then puts them on the bench and just sits on them
>removes the weight from the squat rack bar, takes the bar, and sets it on the bench
>with the bar already on the bench still loaded with weight
>???
>starts doing wrist curls with the squat rack bar, has not touched the bench press bar at all since I arrived
>moving between 5 or 6 different things whilst clogging up the only other bench AND with the squat rack bar still on it, flexing in the mirror after literally every set
>get about halfway done with my workout, see him leaving in the mirror
>he didn't rerack any of his weights
I don't even know what to feel about this shit. Is this tiktok fitness culture?
You should have talked to him about some of this. Sounds like a genuine newb.
Sadly, that atrocious behaviour is not exclusive to zoomers, I've seen 35+ year old roided powershitters doing that crap, even the flexing and taking pics on the mirror in-between sets shit. This type of bullshit is why you either
>pay for a fancy enough gym that the membership fee keeps out undesirables (most zoomers, landwhales, dyels and Black folk)
or
>stop dicking around and build the home gym of your dreams
Sadly yes
Everyone who has a TikTok account should be killed, I want total TikTok user genocide
His behavior requires physical correction. Should've thrown a 5lb weight at him, then beat the shit out of him.
>"Hey, you need to rack your fricking weights"
>problem solved
Why do you homosexuals talk so much shit online but get bullied by zoomer DYELs irl?
moron roider
every time I fail a squat (read: use too much back to get the weight up) or get a bench up with shitty form I shake my head in case anyone's watching. sometimes as I'm getting the rep up, or after I rack it. I sometimes smile, too.
>years ago, first time in gym
>I'm younger and just as stupid as I am now, maybe even moreso
>They have some decline situp bench thing you hook your feet into at the top
>Doing that, get loads of reps in, feeling great
>Basically go to failure
>Stop at the bottom like an idiot
>Can't do another sit-up to be able to hold on to the top of the bench while I unhook my feet
>Unhook them anyway, just kinda of slide down the bench a bit until my head is on the floor
>Still can't really get off the bench, lifting my legs would involve some kind of backwards roll with my neck taking all the strain and doesn't seem like a good idea
>Slowly sliding into the floor, headfirst
>Have no choice but to roll sideways and just sort of fall off the bench
>Stand up, pick up my phone and stare intently at it, hoping nobody saw my moronation
>fat roidgay asks for a spot on bench
>loads up 365lbs
>wow anon that's a lot of weight you sure bro?
>tells me not to touch the bar
>cranks out 4 reps and racks
>tell him nice job and go back to my workout
>later people text me "is that you bro?"
>realized he recorded the set and posted to social
>mocked me for being surprised about the amount of weight and unsure about spotting
why are people like this?
LMAO, unironically would need revenge of some kind for this
Generally speaking your response would definitely be taken negatively by anybody about to bench with any amount of weight. Unless its giga moronic just give a general affirmation and spot the set.
Report him secretly recording you to the gym management, and have him banned. Its so simple.
next time you see him benching, offer to spot him, then teabag him in the middle of a rep. All while recording of course to post on social media
>be me a couple months after discovering IST
>extreme dyel
>in gym and want to do curls with 20 pound dbs
>two gym assistants (guy and girl) were doing a crossfit workout and had dbs from 15 to 30 all laying around them, battle ropes, kettlebells, etc.
>playing music off of a bluetooth speaker
>get pissed
> go up and ask nicely for the 20 lb dbs
>the guy just looks at me and doesnt acknowledge
>just take the dumbells and start doing hammer curls infront of the mirror
>he flips his shit and starts screaming saying im getting kicked out and they are gonna call the manager
>everybody else in the gym is like "wtf?"
>just ignore him and keep doing curls
>he flips out even more and starts wailing on the punching bag
>keep doing curls just to make him more mad
>he goes to the backroom to talk it out with his coworker and im figuring that im probably getting kicked out.
>i assume the manager told him to kick rocks and he comes back out and starts cussing me out under his breath
>"your back is bending you weak pussy"
>it was, my form was dogshit lol
>just keep doing curls and he leaves with the coworker and i hear him scream one final "FRICK!" out in the parking lot.
>never see him again at the gym, pretty sure they got fired.
Lol based. Made that roidmonkey embarrass himself
Most sane crossfitter
truly what causes people to be like that? every time i meet someone who is just insanely angry and freaks the frick out about trivial shit like that it is completely baffling. like how did they not grow out of throwing tantrums? how does anyone they know put up with them? these people have jobs and girlfriends and just live their lives while having the self-control of an 8 year old. it's so insane.
cause its a moronic fricked up world we live in lmao
Holy fricking BASED. Although, I hope your back doesn't bend anymore anon.
>new gym
>time for powercleans
>barbell knurling 404 not found
>chalk bowl empty
>let's give it a shot
>third rep of second warm up set i lose my grip and yeet myself out of the rack
>whole gym staring
>first reaction is to Wooo like Ric Flair while lying on the floor
>bicepmaxxed boomer comes over to check on me
>thank him for the gesture
>continue workout
>power cleans
>third rep of second warm up set i lose my grip and yeet myself out of the rack
how the frick...?
I lift at home and it's a saving grace
>weekend at parent's
>fermented cabbage as a side dish
>gives everyone rectal afterburner level farts
>next day, deadlift day
>feeling extra gaseous
>pull 4th rep on 200 kg diddly
>tummy feels funny but decide to pull the last 5th rep
>mid way up feel my ass opening up
>quickly finish the rep with godlike strength, clutching my glutes together, pushing whatever was coming out of my ass back
>drop the weight, rush to bathroom, take the most relieving shit in ages
Imagine dude pulling deadlifts and handful of brown chestnuts dropping out off his shorts. Really glad for the homegym
my pants rippen
>my roided college professor is right behind me with his wife while she's stretching out
>I'm preparing myself to max out on my power clean and press
>let out a huge bravo on the way up
>scream "SORRY" with the weight on my shoulders
>start laugh because I'm nervous and ashamed of what I just did
>try to press the weight, but my balance is off due to my irregular breathing and the time I spent with the weight on my shoulder trying to get my shit together
>do the classic frick up where one shoulder is higher than the other on the way up
>almost snap my shit
>let out another bravo
>do one step forward
>don't lock out
>fail the rep
>throw the weight on the floor and go home
bravo=brap
fricking autocorrect
This is how I pictured it
I'm imagining you shouting bravo to yourself as you lift. Thanks for the laugh m8
>let out a huge bravo on the way up
>scream "SORRY" with the weight on my shoulders
>almost snap my shit
>let out another bravo
KEK
BRAVO ANON
R
A
V
O
A
N
O
N
I deadlifted in front of the dumbbells rack.
I did decline bench in a bench was wasn't set up for that, I got more of a workout trying to not slide off the bench than I did benching
>be me
>see girl doing DB OHP with her back curved way too much
>should probably warn her
>she has headphones on
>tap on her shoulder after she's done with the set
>she almost jumps
>turns around and looks scared as frick
>takes her headphones off
>let her know that she should fix her posture or she's going to get hurt
>she stutters an "o-okay, thank you"
>apologize for scaring her and walk away
Last Saturday I was at the gym I put my hands in my pocket and felt the wrapped paper tissue I'd put my used condom in in order to avoid the dog getting to it. I forgot to throw it in the bin at home and took it to the gym.
Luckily my shorts weren't cum stained lel
lol this guy fricked he's dog
Nah the dog was banging my wife
llol this guy jacked off into a condom to his dog fricking he's wife
>deadlift day (how many start with that?)
>cute girl in my gym working out not far from me
>I check out her ass often, I think she might check out mine
>we have friendly conversations all the time
>going for a mod heavy set of 10 deadlift after several warm up sets
>every time pulling off the ground I let out a little bit of fart
>the tighter I clinch to prevent another fart, the higher the pitch and volume of the fart
>after 5 reps, the last being the highest pitch and loudest I stop
>don't want to turn around, I know she heard it
>I unload my barbell without looking at her, put it all away, leave
>she doesn't talk to me anymore at the gym
>she doesn't talk to me anymore at the gym
probably, because you give her insecurity vibes all of the sudden. Why should she stop talking to you just because you farted?
Nothing too crazy, but about a month back I ate and went to lift. I was doing 4pl8 squat, and on the third set I farted at about the halfway point - I had reached my depth and was on the way up. I shit myself a little bit. Got some guy to watch over my station, I went to the washroom and wiped my cheeks, it was just a lil liquid - only a tiny bit on the boxers themselves. I then returned and did my last two sets no problem.
>finishing up leg day
>migrate towards leg extensions
>latina with extremely fat ass doing back extensions right in front of it
>don't want to look like a coomer so I ask her how many sets she has left
>wait for her to finish and then move towards leg extensions
>she looks confused as she was expecting me to take over her spot
>another girl takes over the back extensions instead
I just want to be able to scan around the gym between sets brahs
wtf are these autistic greentexts. literally just do your workout lmao
Bro its extremely conspicuous to set up shop right behind a girl postrating herself. I had to wait 2 minutes and I'd do it again.
it's not conspicuous at all. you only think it's conspicuous because you're a creeper. you do realize that everybody already thinks of you as a creeper because you give off creeper energy due to trying not to be creepy, right?
Bro you're moronic if you think there's not a distinction here. Or you don't know what back extensions are which still makes you moronic
>creeper logic
you're literally too stupid to understand how you're projecting your twisted internal reality onto the unsuspecting outside world, and thereby actually creating a self fulfilling prophecy in which your manifested internal reality sabotages your ability to do what you want. insane.
I cost myself 2 minutes to hopefully be able to look forward without having a face full of ass and feeling like a pervert. If I had moved because a girl took the spot in front of me you might be right. I stead you are as smoothbrained as they come and probably don't even lift anyways
>pathetic schizo cope
fyi, even though i know this bit of wisdom is wasted on you, they already know you're a creeper pervert.
If this was the case then I would have taken the leg extension machine without comment for the opportunity to view prime ass you walnut. Good god you better be trolling and not actually this moronic I swear
>if i weren't so afraid of my imagination i might have had the nuts to enjoy life for a minute
huh, crazy.
I suppose I was just imagining the chick bending over right in front of the equipment I was going to use my bad
Not the guy you’re arguing with but you really are overthinking this dude. It’s one thing if you grab say some dumbbells and walk right behind a woman working out, but to avoid a stationary machine simply because a woman is using another machine in the same vicinity is in fact weirder than just sitting down and using it.
Its not in the vicinity man; its literally right in front of it. It would be tantamount to taking the deadlifting platform for rows behind a girl who was actively squatting. I don't get why this is such a point of contention
i just realized the guy is making stuff up about not wanting to look like a pervert because he is actually just disgusted by a woman's ass. he is literally too gay to use a machine if a woman is in front of him. insane.
It wouldn't be fricking conspicious if you didn't talk to her first, you made it completely clear you were paying attention to her
I don't know how much more I can do to convey the proximity of these two areas. And I do have some rapport with this particular gym chick so talking to her was zero issue
just take a video of it like any normal man
maybe edge a little too
b***h would make a killing from a gym onlyfans with the yoga shorts she's wearing I tell you what
>his life isn't a joke for others amusement
>squatting lmao 3plate for 5
>rip ass on second or third rep but keep going
>thought it was quiet enough that nobody would notice but couldnt tell cuz headphones
>end set, was tough but felt good despite the braap
>friend comes over to me asking if i farted during my set
>tells me everyone heard and looked
>mfw
This happened Friday
>bench day
>185 final warm up
>second rep
>right hand fricking slips off the bar for no reason at all
>bar falls and hits me right below the nipples
>dump immediately
right upper rib/abdominal/intercostal/whatever is fricked up, chest is somehow fine
routine for the foreseeable future is looking like dips, db rows (some pain but doable), push ups, face pulls since every other lift I've tried makes me want to scream like tom from Tom & Jerry
rip sorry bro, that sucks
you shit yourself?
Same thing happened to me. Once my ribs recovered enough I found a valsalva maneuver helped brace my rib cage for bench
>he didn't wear his hoisting cuirass
Squires. When will they learn?
>hand slips off the bar for no reason
why do they call it the suicide grip?
Every day I'm embarrassed by other humans. The way they act, the music they listen.
>home gym neet
>shared garage entrance with individual house's spots for the cars
>burp, fart and blast rac music all the time
>gotta leave the house for wathever
>see neighbour who I have 0 relationship with
>smirks at me
>h-hello *.*
This happened to me a month ago, still super embarrassing
>Join new gym with a huge pool
>playing in pool with my sons after working out
>see who can hold breath underwater for the longest
>laying on stomach totally relaxed with face underwater
>at around 45 seconds hear my wife holler at me, then a few moments later pull me out of the water
>turn around and see that it's actually a life guard, and a 100 people are staring at me
>also see someone rushing out with a defibulator and a gurney
>I'm flabbergasted and start hollering at the female life guard
>she's just as shocked and embarrassed as I am after she realized I wasn't drowning
>swim around for 5 minutes to save face then skulk home in shame
I didn't scream at her or anything, but good lord I was in 3 feet of water. My boys just watched it all go down to lol
Finally a wholesome story
>shoulder/chest day
>enter gym with a sea of milfs overtaking the weight area due to their yoga classroom's air conditioning going out in 100° weather
>whatever just keep doing my thing
>the bench is overtaken by the water bottle of the tallest one in the group
>shoulder press first to delay the inevitable
>all of a sudden my final set is done
>go to the bench to get the tall milf to move her stuff
>she notices me walking up. "Oh, did you want this?"
>"Y-yes please..."
>please
*glass shattering sound effect*
>want to sign up for gym membership because i heard it will help me get laid
>spend months building up the courage to open the front door
>finally make it inside the gym, cutie is working the counter
>walk up to counter full of confidence
>cutie says hi
>w-whoops wrong building
>fart on the way out and start crying
>try to push door open and smash face into it
>cutie says: pull!
>there is diarrhea coming out of my underwear i can feel it on my leg, i have to get out
>pull the door open and it scrapes my big toe nail back
>scream in pain, afraid to look down
>build up courage to glance down and the blood is welling out all over my slide
>old woman next to me retches at the fart stench & looks down at my toe then vomits
>hear the counter lady say oh my god
>i do the butt shuffle out while i'm crying and shit is soaking my underwear and blood is pouring out of my toe onto my slides and the floor
At least you didn't drop your spaghetti
Man that was so funny I've been laughing for like 5 mins, how do you come up with that?
>on smart days he just knows to lock up all the doors unplug the phones
>on stupid days he decides it would be a good idea to go outside
>those are sad days when they come
>those are sad days when they come
>bench pressing
>fail
>I don't have safeties on so it's fine
>see guy rushing to save me
>"IT'S OKAY, IT'S OKAY" I yell
>he stops a few feet away and just stares at me
>i let the weights drop to the ground as he continues staring silently
>he finally goes after I rerack bar
>feel like I just caused a scene with others looking at me for rejecting him
IT'S OKAY, IT'S OKAY
>I don't have safeties on so it's fine
>so it's fine
You either don't know what fine means or don't know what safeties are.
he's talking about clips moron.
it is a sure thing, homosexual. your autistic head canon isn't reality. the false dilemma you invented in which your decision to apologize somehow makes you the hero isn't real. it's all in your head.
>dilemma
>getting the last post
Do you know what dilemma means?
do you know what a false dilemma is, moron?
That's not an answer to my question.
>i don't know what a false dilemma is
lmao moron
So you don't know basic social etiquette, and you don't know what a dilemma is. I'm going to put your posts on the "21 year old lifter with low self estreem" account and forgive you.
>schizo cope
utterly btfo'd ahah
It's "false dichotomy", you cretin.
>it's false dichotomy
>it's false dilemma
>it's bifurcation
>it's black/white fallacy
unlike you, i don't even have to google it.
Unlike me you argue with strangers on Peruvian lama herding forum despite not being drugged diagnosed schizophrenic, so there is no excuses for you.
no excuse necessary, kiddo
>my autism gets in the way of just reading things in good faith
wow i bet your fun at parties lol
Clips and safeties are different things moron.
wow thanks for posting this
I wouldn't have to if Black folk like you learned what words mean and said the correct ones.
>be absent minded lately
(get good sleep, anons)
>be sending lovey dovey message to gf
>have to double check i didn’t send that into one of the many random meme group chats i’m in on snapchat
no one must see my gay lovey dovey side. i want to larp as “sigma” meme man
Sigma rule #45: Send gay ass messages to your meme groups
when you use personality #3 in friend group #2
i forgot to warm up for squats and collapsed immediately. a fat chink was laughing his ass off at me and dropped the bar for lat pulldowns, an arab dude next to me looked very concerned, but gave me 'eyes' all night.
university gym