Life is beautiful. Life is amazing. Dont waste it

For its all about staying true to yourself
Everything else, happy moments , bad moments, suffering etc will come and go, this is known
What matters most are your actions and the decisions you make for yourself whenever those decisions are of importance
Find what does good to you and do it
Enjoy life, all of life every aspect of it

>more than a year ago I hurt my back with a herniated disc just by jumping doing p90x bullshit because I was tired of being a fat frick
>do PT, takes months to no longer walk around like an old man in my early fricking 20s
>be me today, less than an hour ago
>don’t like working out, but the health benefits are nice and it temporarily makes the thoughts stop
>PT said my deadlift form was good, and even recommended i deadlift, so I’ve started deadlifting since then (months ago)
>super paranoid about it, have 3 individuals check my form in the past, all unrelated and all said it was good, always do light weight high rep
>go in to deadlift, not even doing a PR just trying to do more reps of the same weight as last time (I do them in the 8-12 range)
>warmups go fine, seems easy so I should get 12 reps in, after all this weight is so light my lats alone can pick it up
>first working weight rep, feel a sharp pain combined with a stretching sensation in my lower back
>my back now hurts despite 4 Advil and I struggled to take off my underwear, pain is slowly radiating down my left leg, it has all the hallmarks of a herniated disc
convince me not to kms tonight, I can not fricking do this again please God