On a serious note, is there anyway I can heal physically from 29 years of lack of activity, being a sexist virgin girlfriendless butthole, being skinny fat, being the stereotypical neighbor who waters his garden who turns out to be having a bdsm dungeon in his basement, and having had done nothing but watch porn, smoking weed, eating junk food, drink alcohol, and play video games all day?
Except here is the kicker all with a reckless attitude towards being a good person.
You have a bdsm dungeon but you’re a virgin? How does that work?
I was being facetious with that one.
ffx, bauhaus, 90s marvel, yi pin onions sauce packets, chicken fried rice. pretty kino
You all I seriously have taken away 40 years of my life expectancy from this lifestyle. I'd like to know how I can heal. Not looking to be a Chad, but I don't want to die from diabetes and heart failure at the age of 45.
You all I will literally venmo you 5 dollars if you give me a good workout plan for someone who is 6'4" gets tired easily and is weaker than a 6 year old at the age of 29.
I want to workout and get healthy not for the sake of getting women, but just for the sake of me being able to work a job (especially ones where I'm on my feet all day long and am lifting), am able to have a long life expectancy, and am just all around content for the busy-ness of life.
>lazy fat frick
>motivated to turn his life around now!!!
>can't be motivated enough to read the sticky or use www.google.com
truely ngmi
Frick my life I'm 5'6" and I do extremely well with women because I have a good face and body and you're telling me this fat loser is 6'4" what a waste of genetics.
Get your shit sorted you dumb frick. Cry hard.
Side note concentrate doing lowerback exercises and legs on lower weight high volume as really tall people are prone to those injuries.
I will literally make it 20 dollars for some high quality fitness advice.
If you somehow cannot do S/B/D with just the bar just do partial movements (use the metal protruding bars to catch the barbell as you go down and do a half rep). Then redo it until you can lift the barbell, though I doubt you are that weak. I also recommend using resistance bands to train many conventional movements if you really need them. Try to do assisted dips and pull ups if your gym has the means. In any case do the programs in the sticky but just do them to your best capacity. Assuming this isn't LARP you'll make progress.
@BasileusOfRome if you're not a LARPing gay
Okay bro, I'll give you 10 dollars for that.
Anyway where do you want me to send it on cashapp and venmo?
Received, you have my respect. Follow through with this Anon, it'll be good for you. Look up negatives for lifts.
Though I will consider this guy's fitness advice is the best as his is the most adaptable to my situation.
>make it 20 dollars for some high quality fitness advice.
you lazy stupid fricking bird cloaca, there's millions of dollars of free advice on the internet, you're not some miracle snowflake that crawled out of a permian era ice cave, you're just a normal dumb sad frick. you could literally ask ChatGPT for a workout plan. fricking do anything, try to climb trees, dig yourself a grave, run after cars on the interstate, just move your worthless fricking body.
>exercise
Do a basic routine. You don't need much at first. Go to the gym every other day and each time you go to the gym do this routine
>Leg Curl 2x10-15
>Barbell Squat 3x8-12
>Bench Press 3x8-12
>Row of Choice 3x10-15
>Overhead Press 2x10-15
>Chinup (assisted if needed at first) 2xFailure
>Curl of Choice 2x8-12
>Rope Pushdown 2x8-12
2x10-15 means 2 sets of 10-15 reps as an example. Lift a weight 10-15 times, rest for 2 minutes, then do it again. If it was 3 sets then you'd do it 3 times in total. Once you can hit the top of the rep range and your other sets are within that range, up the weight. Go for a 1 hour walk every day. I'd recommend doing it in the morning but wherever you can fit it in. If your body is completely fricked and you can't manage an hour of walking then do what you can and incrementally increase your time until you can do an hour.
>diet
Drop the junk food and booze. They're doing you no favors and they're what's making you fat. If you didn't eat like shit and drink you'd just be skinny instead of skinnyfat right now. Bias your diet around eggs, dairy, meat, fruit, and vegetables. You don't have to suffer to have a good diet either. I had fajitas today for dinner and yesterday I had chili. Tomorrow I'm having fish tacos with red cabbage slaw. Don't fall for the chicken broccoli and rice meme. You're not a pro bodybuilder trying to live like a monk. It's fun for like a day and then the mental drain of eating like that hits you. For drinks I'd recommend water, sparkling water, tea (I like iced herbal teas), and coffee. The occasional diet soda isn't that bad either but it's not a good idea to have them often if the goal is unfricking your body. Also keep lemon handy. Some ice water with lemon is something I have at most meals
>sleep
If you don't sleep you don't recover from lifting. Prioritize it in your daily schedule. Even 1 extra hour is a huge difference in recovery
If you're not LARPing then my cashapp is $BrotherRed0
Alright I'll give you 5 dollars, and that is the last I'll be paying for fitness advice.
Read the fricking sticky OP holy shit. And I mean really read it, start to finish. Whether or not you find happiness from there is up to you. We can only show you the door.
if you have questions beyond that just go to the QDDDTOTT.
?si=2cn3Hif2GS2QrG_W
You're going to start at a lower baseline and progress will be slower because you've spent your whole life destroying your body. If you can accept that you can read the fricking sticky
>can you unfrick your shit at 29
Yes, absolutely.
t. lifelong basement-dweller, turned my life around at 30
how
been a retarted fatty at various points in my life. yes you can turn your life around.
I don't know what to tell you to do. Because for me it's always about taking the next appropriate step at the right time.
But you probably have a mountain of bad habits that compound. and a lack of good habits that would compound the other way if you had them.
don't rush, take your time. You want to learn how to enjoy life properly, not neurotically burn yourself out in the gym.
drop the base habits one at a time, because they ultimately make you feel worse than better. it's only a trick that you like these things.
pick up good habits like hitting the gym. but ease yourself into it. you might need to spend the next couple of months just going on walks to get your energy levels high enough.
learn how to do shit like count calories and meal prep healthy food.
you'll probably stumble heaps, but get back on it enough time and it starts to take on its own momentum.
Yeah frick having a craving for sweets. I wish I had a craving for potatoes instead. There was one girl in college I felt like laughing at for not eatting sweets, but oh man she is definitely getting the last laugh when my life expectancy is 54 if I don't turn this around.
Most of the cravings we feel are just a result of addictions. Once you get past them and get your priorities straight, you don't really get them anymore.
I'm walk past pic related at work everyday and since I started counting calories again, it's been a non issue to not touch any of the sweets.
Just be yourself!
😛
Lady I ain't interested in getting in bed with your bestie because we two would look great together. I'm telling you this for the sake of health I need to get fit. So yeah if I disappoint your bestie for not having the infamous dad bod, that's their problem.
Rebirth
Take a look at the US physical fitness program made by the Kennedy administration in the 1960
Its easy to follow and its prepared to be started by people that have been couch potatoes for all their life
Its also from the 60s so even its not minmaxed as some actual fitness programs its israeliness-free
Its also prepared to be made at home without any equipment required, just bodyweight training and in my case a skipping rope
https://www.jfklibrary.org/sites/default/files/2020-03/PhysicalFitnessPamphlet.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwjn16WMmeuCAxVwTqQEHVvWCfMQFnoECA8QAQ&usg=AOvVaw3eohaRmlki9vPp8NLel-2i
I've been following it for a year and im happy with the results, i'm 30 and i hadn't done any exercise since high school, its easy to understand and easy to keep on it.
The first levels take 5-15 minuts and the last level, wich i still struggle with takes arround 45 minutes, its done in an incremental way, so it feels nice
Gl mate
Buddy that page has less information on there than the Warren commission
(the link is dead)
Sorry mate, i didn't check it
Here is the download link that should be working
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.jfklibrary.org/sites/default/files/2020-03/PhysicalFitnessPamphlet.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwjenvaEnuuCAxX8VaQEHTf6AsAQFnoECBEQAQ&usg=AOvVaw3eohaRmlki9vPp8NLel-2i
In fact now that I think about it the new challenge for me getting fit and healthy is liberals who are stringent on fitness nerds after being picked on for being overweight in high school.
God this battle between brains and brawn isn't ever going to get old. Wasn't that shit supposed to be over in middle school?
Zach, if you really want to make it you have to do things one step at a time and not expect to be rewarded for your effort and discipline for years. Start by lifting, look up a good bro split or ppl. Try going at least 4 times a week. Eventually this healthy habit will make you want to do more good things for yourself. You sort of have to slowly train your discipline with progressive overload, turning your life around isn’t instantaneous but each step you take matters.
>t. Former fatty now lean
sup
Maybe you can somehow heal from this. But frankly, you don't deserve to heal because of the excessive amount of weakness and stupidity you have displayed to the universe.
I usually help people, but if you reached for my hand, I would shoot you with a revolver
Never too late to change, it’s just gonna be harder and require more work.