my ex broke up with me last year so now im IST and jacked and sad
i just watched the movie "as good as it gets" and im basically jack nicholson, and it brought a lot of feelings back about how basically autistic i am and i couldnt convey my love appropriately for my ex, even all those times after the break up she asked why i never loved her but i did a lot but she wouldnt believe me. it hurts a lot because i am just misunderstood and i wish things were different. i was always alienated socially because of this and the abuse and beatings from my father which pushed me further into alienation and made me a bad person.
this was a vent thread because my heart keeps repeatedly breaking when i think of this. i prayed to god and now i will go to sleep. goodnight
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All of my friends abandoned me for being a lovers and I'm still virgin and I will be 21 shortly. Its basically impossible for me to make friends now, what can I do?
let go of the need for friends, engage in activities you enjoy and they will come to you, but do not keep it in the back of your mind, enjoy your own company, otherwise you cannot survive. i am op and im starting mma now and this is basically my trajectory too, and same age as you.
no matter ur religion or if ur irreligious, pray to god if you feel times are tough. he is real and he will help you
Every passing day I am left further and further behind. Stagnating and there's literally nothing I can do about it. I already have hobbies and stuff I don't enjoy anything. I only have hobbies to say I do something majority of the time I'm watching YouTube or jacking off
please try fighting. dont give up, god loves fighters. if you don't fight, you will never succeed. you have to not feel sorry for yourself, you have to make actions happen. you have to be firm and set in what your action will be next. join a fighting gym, you must love it, because you can hit and take out anger, and you can learn to be unstoppable and powerful.
*loser
>I'm 21, it's over
I know you are autistic but c'mon
Well yeah I'm in the literal prime of my life and I'm all alone. Most people my age have a flourishing social life and have sex daily
A friend called me fat which is very good to do to your fat friends. Now I mog him and everyone else I know. Simple as.
>Now I mog him and everyone else I know.
Based as frick.
i literally had nothing better to do and decided to try lifting
also idk if you are new but dont post serious shit like that here or some blackpiller homosexuals will say shit about it and make fun of you
>also idk if you are new but dont post serious shit like that here or some blackpiller homosexuals will say shit about it and make fun of you
ive been on IST since i was 11 years old, i know about the blackpillers. ive never been blackpilled but im more of an butthole than all of them combined but i needed to vent and get it off my chest because it feels like im drowning
GET BIG
I thought that shit would fix my PTSD from being molested as a boy by an older girl. It somewhat killed the "old me" but I still feel dead inside, if anything lifting made me more embrace the madness.
A lot of "soul searching" and exposure did far more for me, so when a woman lays her hand on my back I don't get aggressive, grab her by the wrist and want to break it.
If I can endure weeks long DOMS, Rhabdo, a fricked up shoulder because of a rotator cuff injury, patella tendinitis, months on 1000kcal a day, then I don't have to fear a 135lbs woman laying her hand on my back just making me aware of her present.
I'm probably still a autismo in bed, tho.
why did having sex with an older girl make u mad. it was my dream as a young boy
Probably because I didn't knew what sex was at this point, it was before I hit puberty. And she abused my trust, knowing very well she could luring me in under a pretext.
The brain in this moment goes full autopilot, you're there physical but your mind wanders off, my brain buried the memory for 8 years, but installed a "PTSD trigger" so whenever a girl/women would touch me I would get extremely jumpy and then angry without knowing.
I had my ex bpd gf blocked and she called me from her mothers phone today. She told me that she ‘can’t get over me’ and that she wants to meet.
I broke up with her back in October because she wanted to invite a male friend who was in her uni at her house (other people were invited aswell) I told her no and that she is disrespectful for asking and i blocked her
She started sending me emails everyday telling me that im the worse person and the most toxic she ever met. Long story short she came back in town 2 weeks ago, we met for 15 mins because i was a beta and i agreed to see her but i didn't frick her. She left my car crying because i didn't hug her.
I’m thinking of giving in and have sex with her because I’m dry since October 2022,but I don’t know bros.
She called me 5 times after that call in the morning and I told her to shut the frick up. she came outside my house and i sat in her car for 10 mins and she tried to touch me and have sex with me. I told her that i don't want her, and she started laughing at me and she said she doesn't believe me. I was strong af for 2 weeks ignoring her but she won't stop, she is leaving in two days again.
Should i go or ghost? she is coming here in 30 mins. is it too much of a risk?
>invite a male friend who was in her uni at her house (other people were invited aswell) I told her no
You sound insecure as frick. She sounds loyal. I say give her another chance.
Cuck mindset
have fun. ghost when she gets violent or suicidal
bpd prostitutes frick every guy they meet. they will literally frick 100 guys in a year as a form of self abuse and out of spite for their ex. Have fun getting herpes and warts and putting your dick in her pussy when she hasn't even bothered to wash out the other guy's cum from last night. Then you accidentally get her pregnant and the baby looks like the guy who works the night at the gas station down the street.
>Then you accidentally get her pregnant and the baby looks like the guy who works the night at the gas station down the street.
kek
>dude bro she has bpd!
>my ex has bpd bro!
>was she gaslighting you bro? Must be bpd!
It’s not bpd, it’s just normal female behavior. All women are psychotic you dumb fricks. Learn to keep them in line or don’t deal with them.
This. I fell down a rabbithole of "BPD NARCISSIST EX" online echo chamber horseshit during my divorce a few years ago. It's pretty convincing when you haven't been looking this shit up before and so you aren't noticing that it's just a bunch of desperate people trying to find an explanation for their break up/bad relationship, and that applying a rare mental illness (so rare that it would be absurd how many people are actually using it to describe their ex) to it brings some kind of explanation for the chaos they are experiencing and makes their situation feel "special." In most cases of people flinging these terms like "narcissist" and "BPD" around, it's actually just an exaggeration of "guy was an butthole" or "girl was crazy" shit.
Exactly. When it comes to women I think a huge part of the problem is men being raised to believe all women are innocent little angels that can do no wrong then being shocked when reality punches them in the face repeatedly
>yes goyim, you WERE raped you just forgot about it
I just needed to see a change in some area, it didn't matter what. I was tired of stagnating. The obvious choice was getting fit. I'm still fricked up mentally, but alot of the anguish that was based on my physical looks is gone.
Can't lift heavy (medical stuff) but have got fit in other ways and looking better. I'm not young but have on/off attentions of a younger female who trains for same sport, occasionally in the same group. Definitely likes what she sees but we both know I'm unavailable (family) so a bit sad. And still I push myself to improve and fight ageing process. Too old to have a crush, ffs.
Sorry to hear about that OP. It can be pretty hard opening up to people when you have so much experience being hurt. I doubt this is the end result that a therapist would want out of me but I try to find meaning in selfless acts. Being kind to people I know no matter how much they've hurt me and being kind to strangers with no expectation of return.
In almost all of fiction what seperates the hero from the villian is that the villian was hurt by the world and tries to hurt it back while the hero is hurt by the world and tries to prevent others from suffering in the same way.
for your actual question: I got into lifting because I got injured and was too poor for physio, now I do it as a hobby because I like pushing myself and seeing the numbers go up.
I crave violence and if I get in a fight I want to win
COOL BLOG MY GUY
Edit: THANKS FOR THE HECKIN GOLD KIND CHONKSTER
A 6'6 black girl told me if I put some muscle on I'd be daddy material.
Yo bro, take your time to heal. You did it once and you'll do it better next time. Interacting with people is something you learn throughout your whole life.
picrel is what pushed me over the edge. I had gone to the gym before but I don't remember it being as serious as this time. Had been contemplating returning to the gym but college was taking up too much time. Two days after finishing my finals I went and got a membership. Hoping to make it a lifelong habit.
>got dumped a year ago
>still crying about it
Not going to read the rest of this pathetic trash. I genuinely hope weak fricks like you die
mom died in a car accident while driving me home from school as a kid, best friend shot himself in the head at 17, after going to the psych ward twice i lost most of my friends. barely graduated and spent a couple years being a suicidal stoner NEET with major unresolved issues. didn't give a frick about myself. couldn't keep a job or a relationship. my grandfather, who was really my rock and primary supporter, died of a heart attack away from home in 2021 which normally would have destroyed me but i was already at rock bottom. had a major realization that he loved me immensely even though i was a mentally ill failure, he believed in me until his death. the fact he supported me so much and i had nothing to show for it made me sick. so one day i decided to up and move to a different nearby city and start anew. i'm now 22 with a stable job that pays my bills, a healthy social circle, and reachable goals for the future. i lift partially because it feels good, partially so i can be proud of myself, and partially so that if there is an afterlife i can show everyone i've lost, as well as everyone still here, that i am more than my worst moments and that i'm not a mistake or a failure.
>looked in mirror
>fat frick
>lost 65 pounds
>195
>weigh less than I did when I was 13
>210
>realize how much of a fat frick I've been my whole life
>going to lose 30 more
fell in love with a polydrug-addicted girl 2 years older than me. started abusing drugs and alcohol. went into depressive psychosis and attempted suicide. while i was in the psych ward she told everyone about what happened. i broke up with her and later found out she was cheating on me. started lifting weights to cope with the psychological pain of being betrayed by someone i loved.