>Be me 25
>Live in apartment block with small gym
>Bit shit but it has freeweights and I'm mostly using the crosstrainer
>Go early in the morning before work, there is a cardio bunny qt 3.14 usually in there on the treadmill around the same time
Datass.nut (pic not her but similar)
>Mild autist (I'm posting here aren't I) but can still maintain a conversation.
>qt3.14 and I start talking, she's pretty funny and into vidya, at one point I mention feeling old around 18 year old casuals hires at my job, she laughs "oh haha yeah I always feel old in my classes at uni"
>"Haha yeah zoomers, man, what do you study at uni?"
>"Oh... like, history"
>"Oh cool what time periods?"
>"It's pretty broad, bit burned out from it though can we talk about something else?"
>Feel like I have dropped some spaghetti here but at least I havent been oogling a teenager.
>Good motivation, ass keeps me coming back, this goes on for a few weeks, one weekend she mentions she is going for coffee after her workout and would I want to go with her.
Frickit.wav
>These coffees become regular, there is a show coming out on netflix we are both excited for she suggests watching it together. I agree, we go up to my place, she leans against me and I awkwardly put my arm around her. End of the second episode she pauses the show, turns and leans in close.
>"It's good but it's not what I wanna do right now"
>"Oh no worries do you wanna head home" I reply
Touch of the 'tism.aut
>Fortunatly she laughs and says "no.... something else"
Ohright.bot
>I lean in for the kiss, she kisses like an angry vacuum but I would frick a nest of bullet ants to get even a glimpse of that 11/10 dumper.
>Go to the bedroom, She gives head that feels like she's flaying the skin off my wiener with her teeth but I assume this is another trial from the booty gods.
>The frickening begins, she is a bit awkward and it's been a while for me but doesnt matter had sex, she seems happy enough anyway.
(1/4)
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 DMT Has Friends For Me Shirt $21.68 |
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Cont.
>This goes on for a few months, sex gets better. We pretty much always hookup on weekends, I work until 10pm weeknights and she's adamant she cant do anything that late, it's always at my place too, she says thats because she has flatmates but I live alone. Dont question this bc I am absolutely c**tstruck.
>Sadly some shit goes down at work and my schedule changes to earlier in the day and weekends, no more morning gym.
>She is upset, I ask if she wants a more serious relationship and she says she just wanted a frickbuddy.
>Feelsbadman but I'm not enough of a simp to quit an amazing job I have a future in for a girl who isnt interested in something long term.
>We hook up sometimes when I get a weekend off but without the regular gym it kinda fizzles out.
>ff about six months, I have a gf now who has moved in with me, it is around christmas time and our apartment complex does these christmas mixers where you can meet neighbours. Ordinarily I'd avoid that shit like the plague but gf wants to go and I very finely tread the line betwixt man and simp so I go too.
Nice story anon.
There’s a gym qt3.14159 in my apartment gym with the best body I’ve ever seen too. I think last time she may have smiled at me. I hope to experience similar legal success in the future.
Posting in a toasted bread.
Cont.
>Gf goes to grab a drink, I see gym qt on the other side of the room, with a middle aged couple. Decide to say hi for old times sake. As I approach she has this panicked look on her face but the tism kicks in, assume she is worried I will try to rekindle things.
>I say "hi anonette"
>She replies a bit shakily "h-hi anon"
>Older man says "oh how do you know anonette?"
>"Oh we used to be gym buddies a few months ago" I still think her discomfort is because she thinks I will try to re-establish things so I say
>"Hey anonette my girlfriend is in line at the bar, I could ask her to get you a beer"
>Older woman looks at me sharply, older man cuts in "that's kind but she's still got a couple months to go before she can drink"
>Room is spinning
Killbillsirens.panic
>(Before my amerifat readers have their second heart attack I am in a country where drinking age is 18)
>Literally feel like I may shit my pants
>Gym qt’s face is bright red, my face must've been doing some weird shit too bc the man I now realise is her fricking father asks me if I'm alright. What in the sweet heavenly frick should I say? "Well my good man It's just become clear that I busted a fat, heavy nut in your teenage daughter's ass"
>I sperg out, and stammer a phrase that haunts my nightmares to this day
>"My uh... i just remembered my cat is sick, I have to.... check him for sickness, vet said there is a lot of feline AIDS around here"
>Parents are speechless, poor gym cutie is visibly sweating. I stand there a bit longer in silence then just turn and walk as fast as I can to where my girlfriend is.
woman looks at me sharply, older man cuts in "that's kind but she's still got a couple months to go before she can drink"
>>Room is spinning
>Killbillsirens.panic
>>(Before my amerifat readers have their second heart attack I am in a country where drinking age is 18)
lmao
I thought she was pregnant with OPs baby lel.
Thought you meant that she had gotten pregnant at first
this lmao
it's nothing
boohoo, anon fricked someone legal that he couldn't tell apart from a fully matured woman
>no treefiddy
>stammer a phrase that haunts my nightmares to this day
>vet said there is a lot of feline AIDS around here
You fricked her in the ass?
Frick yeah brother
just the once but yeah lmao, mostly was regular with condoms, lost my virginity rawdogging a coworker at macdonalds who subsequently had a pregnancy scare. and nearly had a fight with a bf I didnt know about. the parking lot. to this day I have a slight fetish for macdonalds uniforms but never again. Also the storebrought pregnancy test was a false positive, wait til she confirms it at the doctor before you panic, kings.
*in the parking lot
Only once?
FFFFUUUUU
Damn shame
>kings
unless you are an actual feudal top of the foodchain overlord, this is fricking cringe
>Ok, hope your gay cat is ok and may God have mercy on his soul
>My uh... i just remembered my cat is sick, I have to.... check him for sickness, vet said there is a lot of feline AIDS around here
I do hope this is real
somehow my brain made a wrong turn reading this story and I thought gym qt couldn't drink for another couple months because she was pregnant.
>"Hey babe we need to leave now"
>"Why sweetie?"
>Unsure how to explain I just realised I spent months dumping obese, thick loads in a highschooler and displayed rain man levels of autism in front of her already unimpressed parents.
>"I uh, just feel really sick all of a sudden, please can we go?”
>Go home, throw up in toilet, gf is concerned but I keep my silence.
>Next day text gym cutie in a panic, she apologises and confirms she was above the age of consent in my state for all our activities so I'm legally in the clear but still feel gross.
>Start going to gym near work, talk to no one.
Fin
lel, nice story anon
Eh you did nothing wrong other than not verify age earlier, and dodged a bullet that the qt wasn't a completely moronic adolescent.
Protip: When I was approaching during daytime, work/uni would be one of the first topics i brought up. If they say highschool then I'd politely eject
Kek good story and some gratis slaying of amerisharts sprinkled in, you're alright in my book anon.
>
thought she was at least uni age because of the first convo we had but yeah I absolutely should've tried harder to verify
Thanks fren, you're alright too
Bro the only people who would think you are a creep is actual pedos who pretend they hate pedos to compensate and old women who are jelous they're not 16 anymore.
You wanted it, she wanted it, end of story.
>Only 1 country in Europe has the age of consent at 18, Malta
>50% have it between 14 and 15
>40% at 16
>a couple at 17
This includes restrictions for people in jobs that offer power over the girl, like teachers, then it's 18. Most do not have restrictions on the age gap. Some have restrictions on the gender. In serbia for example it's 14 for heterosexual couples but 18 for homosexuals.
The only country with moronic sex laws is America. The only thing they're truly free on and I envy is guns, everything else is incel levels.
>most of latin america is 13-15
>muslim world is notorious, the only reason they cover their women is because the haddiths written by mohammeds old wife said young women should cover (jelous much, b***h?)
>the quran only says they should be modest, no dress code required but muslims don't follow the quran, they follow the haddiths, books written by people who knew mohammed. Well, written by people who knew someone who knew someone who knew someone and so on for 200 years, that knew someone who knew mohammed
Anyway, go back and keep smashing, don't let American moronation keep you from hitting prime pussy.
https://www.ageofconsent.net/continent/europe
>Next day text gym cutie in a panic, she apologises and confirms she was above the age of consent in my state for all our activities so I'm legally in the clear but still feel gross.
This is a fricking non-story. You literally did nothing wrong. Well done scoring a hot young qt. You had no reason to sperg out whatsoever.
The instinct of a father beating the shit out of a subpar suitor for his daughter is older than agriculture, it's like you're mocking OP for being scared of tigers.
Cucked dad wouldn't have done shit. If he raised a daughter to prostitute herself out to older guys then he likely isn't a strong father and isn't a concerned presence in her life anyway. Not that the dad was going to find out anyhow. OP's autism working on overdrive making a big deal out of nothing.
You can't raise a woman not to be a prostitute mate. No matter what type of father you are, once she hits puberty she will chase wiener. If she is alone regularly in a place with men, she is fricking one. Any cutie, young or old, at your gym is fricking someone at your gym. There is no exception to this. The whole point of a gym for 90% of people is to look and be frickable. People are there to frick and while you may not be fricking anyone there, every woman there is fricking someone.
All the non-prostitute women genes died off hundreds of thousands, maybe millions of years ago. The prostitutes simply out fricked the non-prostitutes from existence. The 2 children the non prostitute had eventually got together with at least one of the 12 offsprint the prostitute had.
Every woman is a prostitute and every man loves a prostitute. The only men who hate prostitutes are men who don't get fricked by said prostitutes or men who are jelous and wish to be the prostitute
>The prostitutes simply out fricked the non-prostitutes from existence.
Ladies and gentlemen we have a winner!
Lmao
Capworthy
Yeah the shock honestly came from not knowing age of consent laws off the top of my head, what exactly the age difference was, and whether or not she had told her parents who live in my building
When he said state I found out it's a LARP. Anon needs to quit the lolo porn
could be australia deadshit my question is why he is doing cardiogay shit in a gym with freeweights
>Next day text gym cutie in a panic, she apologises and confirms she was above the age of consent in my state for all our activities so I'm legally in the clear but still feel gross
>Still feel gross
Miss me with that homosexual shit
>disastrous stories
>fricked a hot, young girl for months legally and it ended amicably
Where's the disaster?
This is clearly a humble brag fake story thread. Oh no, I creampied some fat ass bawd repeatedly who only wanted to have sex with me. Life is so catastrophic
kek, cool story. Entertaining, educational, autistic
I cannot fricking follow this story what are you talking about
U fricked an 18 year old then threw up?
>I'm legally in the clear but still feel gross.
homosexual
A
G
G
O
T
You fricked a hot teenage gym bawd. Literally living the dream. What's your problem? Idiot.
Gets his morals from Hollywood movies so much he threw up because he broke a different country's laws
>Gets his morals from Hollywood movies
this means the complete opposite of what you think it does, moron
It's act as I say not as I do with them, just because they're pedophiles in reality doesn't mean they're not gonna pretend like they think it's bad to want to frick someone who is 17 years 11 months old in their films
normie get off my boaaaard
reeeeeeeeeee
Sounds like a win, anon. What's the problem?
That's why they call it jailbait.
Did she say if her parents said anything afterwards?
>rain man levels of autism
Kek. Good story Anon.
>tldr: anon gets prime pussy and is appalled by it in retrospect
You might have a gf and have fricked women but this shit was gay as frick to read holy frick. Lucky motherfricker
Funny story anon thanks for the Reddit karma
>Go into the yoga studio to do some jump rope
>I can't really get the hang of it but I'm in the corner trying my best
>Getting pretty exhausted
>Suddenly a yoga girl crew enters the studio and starts some class
>I don't want to walk through the middle of their class to exit the room because I feel awkward
>I also don't want to ask them if I can leave
>Have the bright idea to keep trying to look like I'm very busy workout and didn't even notice them
>Start jump roping even harder
>Still super exhausted
>Get a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I look basically like pic attached
>All of the girls giving me looks through the mirror
This continued for about 30 mins.
Why would you do this
I know we have the value of hindsight but why not just say oops sorry I didn't know there was a class on
I have a fear of speaking to woman and feel embarrassed around them.
Op here forgot to add a TLDR
Basically, I'm gay and moronic
Thanks for the tldr
>Doing hip thrusts in the only open space in my gym
>I'm basically at crotch level of anyone who comes in the room
>Sorta on the side so people can still go in the middle if they wished
>Girl comes in wondering around in the middle area
>I wanted to try and make her feel like she is free to use the space and that I am just minding my own business
>End up saying "You can do whatever you want here. Don't worry I'm not gonna look at your ass, hahaha"
That's pretty chad tbqh
chad moment honestly
It's always good to knock women down a peg. Her ass was probably mid as frick.
What a time to be alive
The only thing that disgusts me in your story is a 16 year old drinking coffee
>9
>11
Is coffee good for a 16 year old girl?
>he wasn't born in a coffee producing country
>he didn't start drinking cofee at like 8 yo
tbh most people I know are coffee addicts, so perhaps you anglos have a point. Also, the shit you call coffee is horrible, watery and badly brewed.
Anglos are caffeine addicts. Their tea is flavoured instant caffeine with milk and their coffee is unflavoured colorant instant caffeine. They do not care for taste or are too autistic due to inbreeding to realize their tea isn't tea and their coffee isn't coffee. They take pride in it for some reason tho
The trouble is we're impatient. We want tea NOW, we want coffee NOW, screw waiting around for shit to brew
Makes sense. Ngl I still drink instant coffee after picking up your habit in the UK. As a balkanite everybody I know looks at me like I love cancer but frick it's nice and quick and strong. I still got everything I need to brew for guests but friends and family know my dirty little instant sekrit.
I don't know what instant coffee is. Can't you just heat water on the stove and then pour it into a french press to make your coffee? I am american.
Its basically hot chocolate except its coffee
>post workout light cardio
>decide to run a bit for no reason what so ever
>one of the gym crushes starts to use a treadmill next to me
>didn't want to stop running in front of her
>continue running until she leaves
that fricking sucked, on the other hand runner's high is a thing
I started running 3-4 times per week instead of doing light cardio by walking fast on an incline
There's nothing more dissapointing in life than when you finally bag a 9/10 by the grace of Allah and they suck dick like a handicap and flay your wiener raw with their teeth
I swear there's a sweet spot in female appearance where the sex skill peaks, probably somwhere around 5 or 6/10
The higher you go, the higher the chance of starfish sex and cheese grater blowjobs.
If you want good head just get a man to do it.
>The higher you go, the higher the chance of starfish sex and cheese grater blowjobs.
Hasn't been my experience. Hottest girls I've been with were also the best fricks. Only time I've ever had a bad/boring one was a chubbier chick who myspaced angled her tinder pics and just laid there.
tfw hot dom wife
Unless they’re hot but there is something off with them. I met this one girl that was out of my league but she was super clingy and wanted me to tell her mom why I would always be there for her, like one day after hooking up with her. A few weeks later, I was out with her and ran into a friend (girl), gave my friend a hug and the girl I was seeing goes “WHO THE FRICK IS THIS b***h?!” Uhhh wtf? Half an hour later I was like frick it, I’m ending this right now so I broke up with her and called it a night. She asked me to come over and talk the next day and one thing leads to another and she gave me the best blow job I’ve ever had in my life. Don’t remember how it started, but I think she was rubbing my leg, kind of brushed my wiener, let me get hard, she takes a huge gulp of her glass and got down on her knees in front of where I was sitting and was asking me if there was anything she could do for me to help me relax. At one point she told me she wanted to taste my cum and she stuck her finger in my ass and then deep throated me, and of course she swallowed it all too. Still think about that girl but yeah she was a mental case. I used to ask my wife to get a cold glass of water when she would do it, now she automatically does that which has a pavlog effect if she brings a glass of water into the bedroom.
Oh, yeah, BPD pussy is the best, but they'll frick you up more than certainly sooner or later.
>There's nothing more dissapointing in life than when you finally bag a 9/10
I've done it a few times and have been unable to even get hard with them because my self-loathing is too great :/
doubt. worst sex I ever had was with a 6/10 bawd.
thought she was at least uni age because of the first convo we had but yeah I absolutely should've tried harder to verify
Thanks fren, you're alright too
>read entire four post long greentext
>it amounts to "I fricked a hot girl"
It does make me want to sign up for a gym membership just to meet women though. I'm fricking isolated as frick having a home gym, but I dunno if I can really justify the gym price just to go there a couple times a week to use the few unimportant things I don't have at home and scope out hot girls.
>It does make me want to sign up for a gym membership just to meet women thou-
What is wrong with people who consume this type of content?
>used to watch lots of bruce lee and jackie chan movies growing up
>would copy the moves I saw on tv in my room
>always outside running in the woods and climbing trees
>become extraordinarily flexible and nimble
>no friends because slight 'tism
>for 16th bday mom signs me up for muay thai classes hoping I make some friends
>after 2 weeks actually glad I'm around people with things in common
>dads bday comes and we all go out for breakfast
>eat fat stack of pancakes with extra butter and syrup
>go to muay thai class right after
>our teacher presents us his replacement because old and retiring
>new guy is 6'7 hard ass looking guy
>says he wants to get an idea of what our current level is
>proceeds to mark all the boxing bags with chalk at his height
>"let's see who can reach this high with a kick"
>proceeds to go the door and chat up sexy gym bunny
>idea.jpeg
>do mid air spin kick exactly where his face would be lightly impacting the bag just enough for it to sound like a badass hit but just why enough to complete 360 spin and land on feet
>guy sees me do it out of the corner of his eye
>quickly walks towards me
>"do that again"
>holyshit.mpeg
>guy just recognized my skill, probably the best fighter he's ever seen
>proceed to repeat mid air spin kick
>massive stomach churn mid air
>stomach decides to immediately evacuate
>spray floor and new teacher with thick liquid pancake shit
>everyone is dead silent
>"ok guys how about we wrap this up for today, we'll get this cleaned and we'll see you all tomorrow"
>wash up in gym bathroom
>go home
>mom says the gym called and asked that I kinldy not come back
>asks why
>shrug idk
it's been 15 years since I still get stopped at the door whenever I try to go in, mom still doesn't know
There is no way this is real.
agree
what kind of b***hmade stomach gets diarrhea from pancakes?
you think?
It doesn't matter. I'm going to be on YouTube.
hahahaha holy frick that's gold
>it's been 15 years since I still get stopped at the door whenever I try to go in
>he tried to go back
Nothing so bad as OP, but....
>go to gym with no amenities
>just weights but not a homosexual powerlifter studio
>there's a queen Varbie who talks only with body builders and has a ridiculous bod who I try not to stare at
>one day she walks up to me between my sets on the squat rack
>ignore
>she might be talking to me
>ignore
>oh she's definitely talking to me
>frick frick, is this it?
>"hey, how many sets do you have left?"
Turns out I'm just moronic
most relatable story i've ever read
I wouldn't want to be with a girl who talks to every body builder, despite how hot she is. Seems there's one or two of these in most gyms.
Girls look at me in the gym and seem to be checking me out but I have no idea how to just start a conversation with a stranger.
I want to say to just be natural but this might get ISTners in serious legal problems. If you see something they do thats nice and you /think/ a reaction in your head then act that out. Think if you see a guy doing something hard and you do that chin down head nod thing, do that for women too. Maybe a thumbs up. If you /feel/ it is appropriat to speak, speak.
>nice
>hey how many sets do you have
>good job
Just establish yourself. Make friends, once people know you if a woman likes you she will talk to you herself. However, this is IST, and I can see everything I said going disastrously and some anon is going to be nodding to every girl going from the back of the gym to a cardio bunny on the treadmill doing her best to survive to tell her
>GOOD JOB YOU RUN FAST
While nodding and blinking with both his thumbs up.
You got to learn to chat. I've approached and banged a couple of girls from the gym. Two of the hottest girls I've approached (but not banged) have been gym. It takes a bit of tact and practice, you're better off approaching in the street first to get some experience. Don't bother wait for signs that they're interested because those are completely subjective and mean nothing
This is all I do:
>spot qt
>be discreet, don't stare like every other soon there
>time approach so as not to disturb them mid set, wait for finish if you're nearby or going for water
>" Excuse me, I know this is kind of cheeky, but just thought you were attractive/ cute/ hot and wanted to say hello
>Introduce myself, underhand hand shake, talk basic chit chat
Never had a freakout, never gone badly. If you're a well socialised guy and they're awkward, that's their problem.
>" Do you want to grab a coffee/drink with me this week"
>" I have a bf/um, no thanks/ some other female bs
>"No problem, take it as a compliment"
>Go back to your workout,end of story
You'll miss appraoching a lot of qts simply due to bad timing or opportunity, but you'll get a lot closer to getting laid then if you never approach at all and just stare like every other chump. Even if they reject they are usually flattered by the balls/ compliment if you're not an was and lose your shit over the rejection like other insecure morons that do.
U sound like u own >1 fedora.
Holy shit when did this place become LULZ? I've gotten laid multiple times from the gym doing this, if you prefer to cope and seethe and get <0 pussy go right ahead lmao
It's been LULZ for years since people told robots to lift but they all still have loser mentalities.
I'm with ya m9. Plus if you're a chad and you just go up and tell a girl she's cute and then dip its always fun watchin them cheese out and say thank you
>" I have a bf/um, no thanks/ some other female bs
>"No problem, take it as a compliment"
holy mother of ugly cope ahaha
LMAO never compliment a girl on her looks, every other basic b***h men's compliment is always on her looks. You either compliment her on her lifts or something she's wearing like her shoes
>I know this is kind of cheeky
what pussy does to a mfer baka
>early afternoon at the gym
>it's arm/shoulder day, got a decent pump going on
>just resting staring off into the void when qt walks past
>8/10 arab girl i've been talking to a lot, usually just joking around
>"oh hey anon how you doing"
>fine how about you
>"well now that i see you again my day is good and complete :)"
>joke about her ruining my day and we laugh
>tells me my arms are looking 'huge' (not really, 16 inch)
>i thank her and we continue small talk
>eventually tell her i got one more exercise and then imma change
>we say goodbyes and she moves to the stretching area close to the exit
>use my 200ig brain to deduce i probably have to talk to her on my way out
>i finish changing and notice she is standing on my path to the exit
>she isn't facing me so i quickly fake a phone call and walk towards the exit
>she turns around when i'm close
>stares and smiles at me, i give a nod back and a quick wave
>keep walking, mission accomplished
>mfw got IST but still afraid of girls and intimacy
Better this way bro. She probably has a banging body she normally hides and is super frustrated due to her religion. Ever notice how the most religious people are the most sexually obsessed? She will probably want to try all sorts of sinful, perverted things with you, like learning how to suck wiener for hours while you wfh or letting you cum on her face while she's wearin a hijab. Plus arab women are renouned for hide hips so she'll probably want tons of creampies and will force you to come into her, either by holding you deep with her legs and feet or by making it impossible to not nut inside when she's face down ass up. Honestly bro you don't need these sort of distractions. Plus her religion indoctrinates them young to allow their men to have more wives like their prophet they worship. What if you then have to split your nuts between her and her cute virgin friend? Can you imagine if they both kneel infront of you, mouths open, cute tongues out saying
>habibi please own us, we're your haram slaves, please habibi feed these young prostitutes
Just terrible bro. Your nut is full of vitamins, you'll lose so many gains if you go for her. Better not to do it. Besides I bet she wears glasses at home and what if her tight virgin friend has braces? Ugh, nerd hijabi 8/10 girls are the worst bro.
Only good post in this thread. The rest of this ive seen posted before
i want a trad arab wife so bad bros but i’m not muslim
Fricking unhinged
top kek
der coomer art posting
gotta love this place
terrible stuff, truly
Frick YOU FRICK YOU YOU ARE NOT HELPING
>crowded gym
>am autist with DAP and cabled IEM’s
>am listening to symphony No. 1 in D minor “The Gothic” by Havergal Brian, a super dark and intense piece
>am completely entranced by my workout and music
>need to do OHP
>see plastic standing thingy that’s in the way
>10/10 negress 5’9” comes up to me and says she was using that
>put on my biggest smile and move it back in the original position for her
>I continue to go back to the gothic and OHP in my head
>but she continues talking to me, saying how it’s crowded
>I’m like yes, it is
>put back in IEM and continue gothic
>suddenly old fat gym guy comes over saying I should use those weight protectors thingy for OHMP
>doing like 5kg on each side, so unsure if he’s a bit of a dick or protective over negress
>say I’m working on form
>guy doesn’t go away, gothic waits
>say ok, I haven’t thought they could fall off and hurt anyone
>finally can continue gothic and OHP
>negress proceeds to do hour long weird workout with plastic standing thingy
>only realise afterwards I shouldn’t have prioritised the gothic over smalltalk with cute negress
You did everything right. Based race traitor hot Black folk can wait, your holy gains mission can not.
I just listened to that whole thing after reading this
Did you like it?
yea it was good. Can you recommend more darker ones
This was a good thread so far anons and I will be listening to on my heavy leg set tomorrow, I'm liking it so far
I just opened the song and this greentext became funny lmao
>tfw the song was a 10/10
>wake up when my boner hits me in the face as its that fricking big swings up and slaps me in the face when I pop a bone
>say a random number between 1 and a 100
>77
>female 77 hot blonde model big breasts comes out of the cage and starts sucking my wiener
>pump a litre of cum down her throat
>tell her to put her panties on and frick off and get my pre workout meal
>she goes off to the kitchen
>start injecting tren test mast popping anadrol dbol halo like a bottle of each
>77 walks in with freshly cooked steak and chips
>its well done
>I always have rare
>throw it at her face and tell shes a stupid b***h and ruined a godo piece of wagu
>frick it no time
>back flip out the 3rd floor window down and land in my ferrari parked out front
>turn on radio
>start blasting pavarotti
>drive to the gym at 300mph
>do some donuts in the parking lot and spell out ops a gay before parking
>gym time baby
>im 400lbs lean shredded 0.1% bf with 100lbs being my dick and balls
>I kick open the doors to my gym
>its full of caridobunnies, pornstars, glamour models, actresses and hot babes
>the scent of pussy juice fills the room and the sound of spontanius orgazms fill the gym
>do my usual workout, 1000lb bench 500lb curls and 1 sit up
>got good pump on
>go over to the water fountain
>have maybe fifteen babes offer to suck me off and beg for my cum
>sorry ladies im taken today im abusing bawd 77.
>the ceiling smashes and a rope ladder drops down
>they remembered
>grab on and get air lifted out the gym and taken above my lamborgini
>I frontflip off the ladder and land in my car
>turn on radio
>its Bach
>oh yeah
>I drive 400mph back to condo
>the mazarattis handling it easy
>I drift up the drive and park out front inbetween the rolls royce and aston martin
>look in the rear view mirror
>say to myself
>oh yeah
>cartwheel into the condo and continue my day of abusing prostitutes with my wiener
>repeat 8days a week
>wake up when my boner hits me in the face as its that fricking big swings up and slaps me in the face when I pop a bone
I actually had a dream like taht the other day. My wiener was so massive it kept hitting me in the face and was a nuisance since I was trying to sleep, so I kept trying to shove it over my shoulder and out of my face, but with a boner it was just like right there slapping me in the face and I kept thinking frick this stupid gigantic wiener, it's so damn inconvenient uugghh
It was a weird dream.
Someone was trying to stick their dick in your mouth while you were asleep and your subconscious was trying to protect you with a dream like that
I was there,female 77 was my neighbour sometime ago
Luckily I don't have these awkward stories since I try to ignore women at the gym as much as possible.
>be me 32
>on cruise ship holiday in norway, small ship going along the coast
>in the gym I thought was deserted
>notice they have a rowing machine, and we're at frickin sea, no contest. Plan to do half an hour
>I like to listen to sea shantys on my headphones to get motivated, picture myself as anything from a based pirate getting in to tortuga with a hold full of loot to a viking warrior heading out with the boys on a raid
>think frick it gym is empty might as well sing along.
>belt out wellerman, drunken sailor, imagine myself moving the very cruise ship, nearly in tears
>set finishing and there is a 10/10 nordic princess and her bf crying laughing filming me
>cheeks burning red, wipe down machine and rush out
>girl says "arrrr" as I pass, both proceed to piss themselves again
>dont leave cabin for the rest of the day
Frick this arent scandis supposed to be shy? I feel like I was judged unworthy by viking ancestors, was a long time before I could row again.
You should have owned it and grinned at them as you walked by.
They both wanted to take your dick, anon
They weren't crying cuz they were laughing bro, they were nostalgia crying and laughing remembering the old times of Ragnar, Rollo and Athaelstan.
Just own the situation next time, don't let randos who are scared of standing out stop you from getting those fantasy gains. Working out to a fantasy is dangerously based, being a homosexual about it when people find out is not. Don't give up, rowanon.
Shouldve done the perfect cast
this,my old high school had an outdoor shower closed in where you culd have a shower and change
>be me
>at this point my build could best be described as tall,ottermode,fair amount of muscle,lean
>getting a cool shower after some rounds on the field
>a bit after I'm washing the soap off I hear chuckling behind me
>see it's two girls who decided to sneak over to the boys section and watch us shower probably
>think to myself in seconds ''well they've already seen me naked,how worse can it get now?''
>turn around and start washing my wiener while staring at them refusing to break eye contact
>they laugh like chickens while running away
>did manage to get a blowjob and some wiener between her legs action from one of them few days later
was horny as a bull due to not jerking off for weeks since I was at a training camp so maybe that's why I just didnt care honestly. such a long time ago
That's like the virgin vs chad dancing, they're doing the exact same thing but the virgin is all gay about it while the chad owns it. You should have just owned it.
At that point you either roll with it and sing shanties out of the gym or just say, "I thought I was the only one here." And shrug.
You sound fun. I hope you learn to stop being embarrassed by it because I think people would love you for it.
Not really the same but
>gf and I walking near a river on vacation
>many steps down to the side of the river
>tourist everywhere
>gf slips on a step and tumbles down 5-6 granite steps
>her face
>lookofembarrassment.jpg
>I, without thinking, throw myself after her, also falling down the stairs to make it look like it was on purpose
>tourists are like wtf laughing at us
>we lay on the ground laughing
She treated me good that evening
Lol thats funny as frick.
But yeah like other posters said, just own it
t. Scandi
I kekked. Content like this is why i can’t leave here
based rowchad. I go for a similar atmosphere sometimes rowing at home. should have put on your war face and stared them down.
>be me
>go to gym
>women are there
I'll never recover from this.
the only post itt I can relate to
the only post I read tbf
women are scary
me on the left
Great blog post, anon. Age of consent really is a weird thing. Like, it's undeniable that many girls are as mature in their late teens as some adult women are.
And if it's based on their mental abilities.. well, women are moronic so should we just raise the age of consent to 35?
Also most states in the US have 16 as age of consent, but it's obviously creepy to be going after girls who are obviously that age.
I thought I got epsteined at this massage parlor once, but she was 32. Her pussy wasn't that age though.
There's no perfect line. People mature physically/sexually in their mid teens and mentally in their mid twenties. We plop a line somewhere in the middle of that and call it a day in order to have some sort of "Nah that's not cool man" measure to keep some form of childhood preserved even though we all know what we were all like in highschool.
I think age of consent is just a bad term because it doesn't actually describe what the line is. It's not an age of consent, it's an age of exploitation. Any crossing of that line from one side to the other we deem exploitative. I think that'd be a better term to make people understand why they're wrong for doing so.
religioncucks figured this out millennia ago, until israelites israeliteed us up with feminism ofc
1. don't bang chicks before puberty, better yet wait until they're capable of safe pregnancy
2. suitor is to get the agreement of the woman's handlers - either sufficiently good parents or resorting to the community/church otherwise
3. don't be a shit husband, grow your woman to be a good and happy wife that'll be a good mother of your 2.1+ surviving children
ezpz, just needs mandatory paternity testing and appropriate consequences, now that it's possible
I've only ever had 2 issues with women at the gym before and I've been going for a couple years.
>lady is doing unweighted squats next to my rack
>can't get by to put new weight on the bar
>"Jesus Christ lady, I can't even get by"
>What's your problem?
>"MOVE"
Other time
>Asian girl is doing lat pull downs
>Skin tight compression clothes and exposed midriff
>Basically drooling at her nips
>Hey man, is that even your girl?
>Wut?
>Guy leaves
>Resume oggling asian lady
>"she is now. frick off."
lmao what a jealous homosexual.
Pre roids Don Frye had a good kinda natty build. Top masculine natty.
>OP going mad for smashing prime 16yo pussy
Either this is made up bullshit or you're a brainwashed gay by used up hags.
Black person, that was the norm since forever maybe besides the moronic United States.
There's this qt 14yo that keeps hovering beside me in the gym that I just didn't flip her insides out yet because I'm seeing one girl and talking to other two other in my gym.
How tf would u have the balls to even talk to a 14yo at the gym? If there’s even 1% chance you’ve misread the situation you’re fricked
no pussy is worth landing in prison. obv idk where that guy is from but being an amerigay if shes not 18+ Im not even exchanging small talk
This. My neighbors kid gets locked out all the time, when my wife is home I tell her to come in and sits with my wife and I make her some eggs or toast wtv. If I'm alone, noppppeeeee. Shes too young to understand why I ignore her 50% of the time shes locked out- it's a monthly occurance, I tried convincing my neighbor to buy a pin door but they are teaching her "responsibility" ffs.
maybe YOU... should teach her some responsibility, anon...
Dude is likely from some country where that's not a prison sentence. You'd have to be out of your fricking mind to even interact in any way with any person under 18 who's not related to you in most countries.
Surely 14 is below age of consent almost everywhere? And even if it wasn’t you’d still be shunned by the local community if she was upset at your actions
Why is IST so autism?
Tldr
Frick all your disaster stories- here's a feelgood story
>be me, final year of highschool
>start going to community centre gym with a few friends
>other gym dudes there about our age, don't know them, just nods
>friends stop coming to the gym with me
>other gym dude now also goes alone
>we spot each other, work out, become friends
>couple months pass, we are now good gym buddies
>meet cute girl in a coffee shop, we go on a few dates
>"anon I'm having a house party"
>go to her house
>passed out on her couch is gym buddy "hey I know that guy"
>"Anon, that's my little brother"
>holy shit I'm dating gymbro's sister
It's been about 15 years, married to gymbro's sister now, he's my best friend- literally just got off the phone with him.
That is a very nice story
Don't take that for granted anon! My best friend was also a guy I met kind of in the gym like that. Got into a routine of working out five days a week, also started hanging out and doing other shit. Skiing and hiking. He died last month. I know you probably already do and it sounds kind of gay but show your gymbro you appreciate him. Friends like that aren't easy to come by.
I hope you are doing okay anon.
hanging in there, thanks man
I don't know how to balance being blackpilled (my current goal) with the avoidance of self-sabotage in situations where things actually do work out. I'm just so tired brehs.
not the right thread but, when it feels like every day I'm swimming up stream, I fricking turn around. Sometimes things just have to dramatically change, I don't mean heroing, I mean life changes, get back in the current. It's hard but life isn't meant to suck balls all the time, it's meant to be kind of awesome most of the time.
there is no sabotage, there is no loss, there is only the ever fading present which can be enjoyed or despised - and soon it will end
why is your greentext all homosexual
>Dahmer Netflix show is everywhere
>I happen to slightly look like him
>lots of people freak the frick out
Contacts & a new haircut fixed this, but it was wild there for a second.
I dared a girl to piggyback me across a creek
but why are her knees red
...anon?
Prayer.
Based Christian girl. Had a nice day on the beach with anonchad, they discussed fitness, prayed to the Lord for more gains, and then behold, a miracle, she can lift anon!
god i wish i had a gf that would pray so hard with me that her knees would turn red
Great, another thinly veiled sexual post
Are you moronic or just a woman? Literally the first post is about fricking jailbait and the rest is stories of sex or failed sex or failed attempts at getting sex or fantasies regarding sex. What the frick is thinly veiled about it you fricking moron (or woman)?
Welcome, newfriend!
She could lose some weight.
I passed on smashing a 16 year old because i thought i was doing the right thing. turns out im just a moronic self-saboteur
ha, I did the same thing when I was 19 or 20. to be fair the subject of our small talk was that she was drinking alcohol for the first time ever. it was the combination of questionable age + questionable mental state that scared me off. I wouldn't be surprised if some other guy got to frick her that very night. still not sure if I should regret this story or not. on one hand it's obviously cope. on the other hand there was a real risk of getting into some kind of trouble (not legal trouble though) if I fricked her and she ended up regretting it. I could have had rumors circulated about me being predatory and at the school I went to that sort of thing would have resulted in more harm (guys and older girls hating me) than good (more 16 yo bawds wanting me).
I can relate to the autism but the story is underwhelming, OP.
>be me when I was 19
>late bloomer so I was catching up on my developmental milestones, got normie level IST and got a gf for the first time, lost my virginity a year prior
>shit went very bad in the relationship but didn't leave because of promises that I have made
>a girl that I know starts to work at my gym
>start talking to her and other hot receptionists
>one of them is the national women's champion of powerlifting
>1 in 10000 kind of body
>keep talking to her but don't take it any further because trapped in a toxic relationship
>eventually stop going to that gym, years pass
>run into her again today at another gym
>she seems even more into me now, still looks the same with the same incredible ass and legs
>we talk, she says she's getting back into competing
>wonder to myself why she has stopped but don't say anything
>at home, decide to check out her insta
>see pictures of her child, assume she's a single mom
>mfw
she could've been the single mom of your child, anon
kill all mass reply posters.
dont be like that
Wow that sounds terrible, how will you ever recover?
remember any gym girl you see is unfortunately taking black Black person penis behind closed doors. it's so over
white Black person penis I can handle, but *BLACK* Black person PENIS?!
what eldrith horror. save me whiggerman!
> at gym early in the morning, basically alone in weight room
> high volume day, doing front squats supersets with rows
> tight qt blonde comes in, starts doing stuff
> keep going at my sets, short rest period, sitting on bench while resting
> qt sits on the fricking same bench as me inbetween her sets, has the whole goddamn gym available but has to sit there
> clearly wants me to chat her up but I'm fricking dying from the supersets, panting and breathing like a slaughtered pig
> by the time I'm actually able to talk the rest period is over, gotta get back at the rack
> repeat this for a couple sets before she gets visibly annoyed and leaves
> gains before hoes
>tfw your perfect program that allows you to rest just the right ammount of time between sets prevents you from getting laid
grows before hoes
I've written this story before but ehh i feel like shit
>regular at gym
>notice a goblina that's a regular one day brings her friend
>friend is a light skinned goblina with a great ass and amazing smile and she's always smiling
>we kinda catch eyes from time to time but don't really do anything about it
>notice she is deadlifting which is pretty cool cause at this time most girls didn't
>I usually use paper towels on deadlifts before using straps to get just a little more grip work in
>notice one day she starts using my paper towel trick so realize she watches me
>feel good
>one day finishing up deadlifting when I notice her just doing nothing until I realize she's waiting for the deadlift platform
>finish up and wave her over she immediately bee lines it
>we both smile at each other
>I start grabbing my straps and phone from the bench I brought up when I look up and she's bending over in front of me already doing a stiff leg dead with the bar
>get a full on view of her anal canal practically
>freeze up and then we lock eyes through the mirror in front of her
>we both stand up at the same time
>she turns around and I say "hey have you ever tried using straps before?''
>she gets within a milimeter of me to the point i feel her arm as she passes, doesn't look at me at all and shakes her head no
>proceeds to rush to the girls locker room
>immediately get hot and embarrassed thinking everyone saw me just get rejected hard
>afterwards constantly see her staring me down
>culminates to one day her showing up with her goblina friend wearing a baseball cap and she looks super cute as they do some weird ass exercise on the smith machines
>i'm sweating my ass off doing squats but we're in eye sight of each other
>notice her put her back to the wall with her body pointed right at me and staring me down again without looking away
>confused and emabrrassed again
>freak out and get stuck looking at her
>feels like forever till she does her set
Well don't stop there.
I just avoid women at the gym tbh. And men. I should get a home gym
>>Feel like I have dropped some spaghetti here but at least I havent been oogling a teenager.
There is nothing wrong with being 25 and wanting some fat 18yo ass.
>(1/4)
Would it have killed you to just condense this like frick.
>>"Oh no worries do you wanna head home" I reply
You suck OP
>Harken back 9 years to 25 years of age
>Flirt with waitress at work do
>Get number
>Hook up
>Start dating
>I'm actually 17 not 18
>Oh right
>Body that would make a man claw his eyes to preserve the memory and not be subject to the lesser bodies of others
>Do sex
>Breaks up with me during a weekend break because psycho
>Anal anyway
>Could have smashed again
>But I have my pride
No simping, no derping, no forlorn homosexualry or romanticised opining.
Brehs I’ve been lifting consistently since 2012 and not once have I even spoken with a girl at the gym. I’ve always wondered if girls even distinguish among male faces at the gym. Mine have always been 85% guys, so the girls definitely stand out and I recognize every single one of them
Because most males are poor genetics and all look the same.
People shouldn't be allowed to study history at uni just because they felt like it. University is an extraordinarily expensive and time-consuming thing and studying history doesn't prepare you for anything other than a job in history. We all like hearing about the colosseum or the ancient egyptians, that doesn't mean you go and frick around for four years in the most critical period of your life treating it as a glorified game of thrones.
>University is an extraordinarily expensive
Hey guys look at this homosexual, he's American!
>telling people how to spend their time and money
Learning how to pass history exams and study efficiently, aka, learning how to learn is extremely beneficial. My good friend is a history grad and works in an unrelated field, but he's smart as a whip since he went to a good uni and studied hard enough to get good grades. I would argue university is mostly junk besides that single aspect of learning how to use your brain, college is often much more practical and applicable to real world.
Still, ignoring nepotism, all of that makes up maybe 30% of your success in life, another 50% is your personality and likability, 10% looks (depending on the job it could be much more) and the rest is luck.
this,plus if I wasnt there,it probably never happen. simple as.
Saw a nice aryan PAWG at the gym that's been coming to the gym for the past month or so. Tried to make small talk with her about her lifts, compliment her by saying it looks like she's training for a competition. She gives a polite laugh and clearly looks like she wants me to GTFO. I leave her alone, trying to think of a game plan for next time. Lo and behold, she walks in with a Pajeet BF the next time I see her.
>What am I doing wrong
Good evening sir
It's pretty awkward when girls with bfs mire you. Happened to me quite a few times and I just feel bad for the dude in that situation
Yeah. Last month I was at a little local artist's concert and saw a literal 10/10 girl I worked with a couple times (I was a supply teacher, she was a teacher's assistant). She has a bf who's also a local artist so was there with him. I recognized her and said hello and we chatted with her and her bf and some friends about how she loves the new school she's at now. A little while later she had transitioned to getting my to pick her up and spin her around on my arm, in front of her bf. I'm 6'6" and lift so I'm fairly big and she was fawning about it, pretty drunk. The guy was cool about it and chill though and we joked around about it and I picked him up too on one arm and swirled him around being funny. Solid dude didn't take offense.
Felt good but also wish she didn't have a bf. Literally, unfiguratively, the only girls who give me attention are girls already in relationships. I can't explain it.
lol its only a matter of time,he can cope and talk about how its all friendly banter,but I can guarantee you at some point after that she fantasized about you holding her against a wall and ramming her out.
I've thought about the same thing a whole lot ever since I first worked with her. Girl is a legit model tier beauty one in a million. At this point best I can do is wait out the relationship. They're high school sweethearts apparently and 20 now so could be a while.
Yeah what do I do in situation. Ass kind looks like OP pic
Every week I climb a nearby mountain carrying 16.1kg of water (a 3-gallon jug, filled by adding a cup every week, not full yet, just weighed them for this post), in each hand. Kind of feel bad for the guys but someone's gotta be the one getting mogged. Seriously tho I'd rather not see anyone that's why I go at 4am
It's not a disaster story but yesterday I saw one of those "shorts clearly outline the ass" girls like OP for the first time in the wild and I got secondhand embarrassment instead of a boner. I can't imagine having your ass out like that for free.
>be me
>at planet fitness
>finish using machine
>go to grab some paper towels
>meet girl simultaneously at the paper towels
>she momentarily recoils in horror
>i turn around and walk away
I'm a 32 yo KV is that a cool story?
Gym has squat racks along a wall, and where the corner is on the adjoining wall the leg press is the first thing.
3 girls doing squats and lunges, just eating space.
Fricking Butterbean's bastard son walks in. Lad gets on the leg press right next to the girls and starts letting out gym audible farts every press. Like clapping his own cheeks with em.
Fricking girls tried to ignore it and bailed. Then Butterbeanis gets up and takes the corner squat rack.
There was other racks open
>Stories of disastrous encounters with gym girls
*farts*
>There's a cute blonde in my yoga class
>She looks like pic related
>She has a (small)nose ring
>Do not establish any sort of contact with her
The end
How the frick do I get a gym qt3.14 with an ass like this?
>7/10
Shouldn't be too hard
Yes but how
I see so many people talk about look maxxing, women worth your time are not 100% looks driven, they are feeling driven.
So work on how you feel, be happy, kind to yourself and dwell in uplifting thoughts, then, share it with the people around you, men, women, old and young. When you are talking to that 7/10, do it for fun, not to get laid. Behaving this way takes all the pressure off you and makes folk want to be around you, because you feel good. Eventually you'll strike true with the right person and you can make sexo
That ass shapeware just looks ridiculous. I don't know who they think they're fooling.
overton window shift makes it acceptable for a certain social class for a few years, before the next thing in the fad cycle becomes fashionable
Guys can't figure out women angle frauding in pictures, can't figure padded asses or boobs, can't figure out makeup and filters, they fooling a lot of men
I always have awkward conversation with the person who I work with who is a muscular gymthot
What do you mean anon?