WFH anon here, my social circle got really small after the few frens I have either moved to another country or became parents. Which IST approved activities would help me expanding my social circle? I tried crossfit and although it seems like a really easy way to make friends due to the cult mindset everybody has, I hated how harmful and useless the routines were.
Also trying to avoid every activity that could rekt my brain, such as boxing or heavy martial arts. I did that in the past and it isn't healthy in the long term.
BJJ
bouldering.
If you wanna make a friend just go up to someone who's finished a boulder problem you failed and ask for beta. Do that a couple times across a couple training sessions and boom, new friend.
Plus it's ez grip gains so you can double overhand all your pulls without straps.
Tried it but my fingers hurt like hell after a few days. A pity because I liked it, but it didn't seem healthy for my hands.
That doesn't exist in my city
True, I'm 30, wasted my 20s stuck with an autistic STEM degree and now I only have my gf's friends and a few of my own that are living far away, so yeah. It's not like I would like to have many friends since I'm used to the reverse, but a few friends to drink some beers randomly at night, only me and them, would be great. I'm a bit jealous when my gf does that with her friends.
>my fingers hurt like hell after a few days. A pity because I liked it, but it didn't seem healthy for my hands.
Pussy. You're also not supposed to go every day moron.
>I'm a bit jealous when my gf does that with her friends.
Girls definitely get away with this, it seems to be harder for men somehow. I reckon at the least you could find social groups on the Meetup app for drinks and filter people through social meets. Gym could be another avenue but be wary the dudes that want you to come over their house for a glass of wine or something... I've encountered that before.
Just went through Meetup to check events for my city and there's only Buddhist meetings lmao. Shame that didn't work. I agree that women are usually more gregarious than men and they gravitate towards social gatherings. My gf gets depressed if she doesn't do any social activity in 3-4 days and I can easily go for weeks with only WFH, Gym, going for a walk and playing vydia lol.
Anyway I guess that's not healthy for me in the longterm and I wan to make changes. I thought about uploading some stories to Instagram regarding my gym progress. I did that a couple of times and it seemed to bring some attention, since most of the people I don't have much contact with remember me as a fat guy and now I'm achieving ottermode.
>me as a fat guy and now I'm achieving ottermode.
Not helping you, but just wanted to say good job, anon.
I'm in the same boat, I suck at finding people to hang out with and the few I found over the past years we didn't share any interests and I let them slowly fade out of my life. good luck finding someone, you seem to be more determined than I.
femanon here. I also struggled with meeting friends I have common interests with, especially ones who aren't either normies or sexist.
anime club is where I found my friend group and husband. there might be a random anime club you could try. it seems like a 50/50 split between hyper liberals and sexist libertarians
My problem is, I have mostly "male" interests (femanon here, too) so that's another hurdle. If I could make a wish, I'd like some people to have a beer or whisky with on the weekend, talk about whatever, maybe throw a few darts, something like that. But I guess it would be cringe. My husband shares the same interests (anime, too) so it's not like I don't have someone to spend quality time with, but he doesn't drink alcohol and is not the type to discuss conspiracy theories for hours, so that's something I have to do by myself ;_;
But I'm glad it worked out for you.
I think finding your most niche, defining interest and finding a hobby club based on that would lead to most possible success.
just try different social groups.
I used to do weekly pick-up soccer through a small facebook group and it's nice the variety of people who go. Good for meeting various people that way.
stuff like anime club weeds out normies. since anime is so broad, you can also ask about certain borderline anime to get people's opinions on stuff to gauge if they're sexist libertarian type or hyper liberal type or somewhere in between.
I have a lot of friends on discord across the US and as scheduling allows, we're all open to visiting each other. we've met in-person before discord though
Sorry to hear that it didn't work anon. I'm fresh out of ideas kek. You could give the Insta thing a go, see what comes of it. Doing anything is better than nothing. It's easy to get set in old habits so good on you for challenging yourself in the process.
Weightlifting club?
Depends on your age and circumstances (local sports clubs, pool/darts clubs etc). Especially for men, it's difficult making friends like you did back in school days after 30+. Usually you might catch up for coffee 2 or 3 times in a year until it fades away. I don't see many guys hanging out together for beers and stuff later on in life, it's more couple oriented stuff with other couples, kids birthday parties and stuff like that. Could be wrong on this though .. I've got a lot of time for pessimism.
Hiking groups. Plant bros. Mushrooms shromies
There are groups where you can meet other lonely men to learn the arts of tantric and lingam massage.
Sounds hot. Where?
I'm in your exact position however I don't give a shit about having friends, it is a problem for getting a gf though. What kind of girl would date a zero social life guy.
I was a zero social life guy at highschool, and really overweight. Still I was kinda handsome due to genetics but if I had a nice body I would have drowned in pussy there. For that I blame my parents, since they made me do a lot of exercise (that's the good part) but said that "diet was not necessary, just run more". Lmao that was completely wrong because I ate a fricking lot and nobody stopped me. 3 donuts for breakfast and next day my father would buy more.
Regarding getting a gf and my social skills, I was so, so lucky I found a friend who was hyper extroverted despite he suffered a bit of bullying as well due to him liking video games and warhammer. We started making friends outside of school, the circle got bigger, I met my gf in one of those social gatherings and here I am.
Still I feel my social skills are bad. I'm overcompensating as much as possible using the "halo effect" by making myself as handsome as possible, as I saw how everybody started treating me better once I lost some weight.
being awkward is fine. as long as you can communicate your ideas in a reasonable time, I personally have never cared about people who stutter or make awkward jokes. I just don't like mean or arrogant people.
by the way, I know one guy who apologizes a lot for stuttering. that shit is annoying. just own your awkwardness. faking it until you make it really is true.
Oh it's not that I stutter or anything. Just that every social interaction drains me a lot compared to normies. I also don't have many "normie hobbies" so it's difficult to relate to random people. I've just adapted by making myself as likeable as possible and getting a minimum amount of knowledge to spark small talk and then move the conversation where I'm interested if needed. I got these skills from my job, that requires a lot of communication with stakeholders. If they like you the job becames much, much easier, and that applies to every social interaction outside of work as well.
Pick up dancing. Doesn’t require much time but it’s an incredibly fun activity and you learn body language.
Find a course with good instructors and just go for it.
I actually spent a year dancing salsa and bachata. It was really fun but I couldn't stand some things:
>Many old people, typically divorced men and women.
>Cult like behavior
>Old women love to do "oopsies" and touch your butt
>I kept forgetting dancing steps. I would simply forget everything I learned 1 month ago and draw a blank once I executed the 5 dancing combos I knew. When I went dancing on social events I would feel bad because many girls would ask me to dance once, and never again.
Anyway I would recommend this activity to potentially get laid, or a gf. I had one already and we went together to dance classes, so I didn't need that, but for less extroverted anon it could work wonders. I've seen fat ugly guys dancing with beautiful girls and killing it on the dancing area
femanon here. I used to be roommates with 3 other women/dancers. they're all self-obsessed prostitutes who think they're all main characters.
dancing is fun but be wary of professional dancers. stick with recreational dancers for serious friends.
same. in terms of having to get along with normies, I'm also still getting better. I just suck at small talk. I get along fine with people who aren't superficial and talk in doublespeak.