I am starting to lose my way I think. I just don't understand why I am hitting the gym. I go, but my spirit isn't in it. I am going because my body is like locked in the routine but my spirit just isn't working right. I don't feel intensity in there. I want to feel the intensity but when I lift, all my lifts feel mediocre, I never feel good and always feel slightly damaged in some way that makes me not want to perform the lift. I don't feel fresh. Like when squatting, my knee will have some weird kink in it and detracts from my mind muscle connection on it. Just shit like that. I also feel entrapped in my own life, almost like lifting isn't really doing anything for me. All other aspects of my life are either dog shit or non-existent. No girlfriend, no wife, no family. Friends don't live near me. Job is okay but I go to it just so I can have money to live. What was my point in lifting again?
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Get your test levels checked.
Stop masturbation now!
Its funny you mention this. I am definitely trying to stop. I don't do it every day but on certain days when life has been particularly brutal to me, I do it. Wish I could leave porn alone for good but I am pretty sure that would leave me far to damaged in a way that I would have trouble recovering from. It would seem that I need to heal myself in other ways first before I can drop that.
Can low test levels actually frick with you like this? I don't think I have ever gotten them checked but if they were actually low, I would have physical issues with me too right? Like poor muscle development and what not?
maybe you need a vacation or a change in your diet
I feel you bro, same here aside from having a good family.
There are a lot of ways to look at it but this is the simplest for me;
Would I rather be slightly miserable, aloof and directionless but still have something to keep me healthy and grounded, or...
Would I rather just go back to old habits and truly be miserable?
I see what you mean. I am glad my body still desired to go then even though my mind and spirit did not. Its just so hard now because with intensity, its hard to find the will to put up bigger numbers or push myself in a way that is conducive to growth.
I do look better I believe. I rarely, get a compliment or two about looking strong. So I know its not all for nothing but honestly the main reason I use to lift for is that I want to live healthy and be strong enough to fend for myself I guess. I want to be and remain able bodied well into my older years.
>I want to be and remain able bodied well into my older years.
Sounds like you're on track then. Keep at it. Maybe take a week off. It's a looooong game with lifting.
Do you look better?
Change routine and work for real things. Restructure mind. Read Bible. Restructure soul.
There is some measure of satisfaction in controlling something even if your life is out of your control. The comedic irony of taking care of your body even while you're simultaneously depressed or even suicidal is not lost on me. I haven't ever been able to reconcile the contradiction. I laugh to avoid crying.
Not op
That's a beautiful realization, Anon. Never thought of it like that before, it makes sense. Helps.
Oddly enough this also seems to be one of the reasons eating disorders develop in some people. It's the one thing they control.
This is true
I'm more depressed and lonely than I've been in a while but I'm also in some of the best shape I've been in over 10 years because hey, it'll only be even more dark and hopeless if I don't.
>have extremely healthy habits, such as very regular exercise, clean diet focused on nutrition not taste, stable sleep times, no junk food, no drinks or smokes or drugs, etc etc. Get sun and vitmamin D daily.
No shitty tatoos or anything else to defile my body
all that, and every day I feel like just killing myself off.
Realistically I feel like I should kill myself in a hospital with a sign strapped to my chest for organ donation. It be a waste to just lets this body rot.
maybe controversial but take a month off. you body will appreciate it. then come back and build up slowly. since youre not in a rush for prs anyway.
I personally fricking hate going to the gym but I hate the thought of looking at a skinny fat ugly moron in the mirror in 5 years and thinking how that just 45 mins out of my day 4 times a week would make me a better looking person and of better mind
OP are you sj zuccenoo
You really don't get the point of the manga do you?
Someone smiled the latest chapter for me and omg, like I hope they r lying. They should have ended it with the miuras death if that's what really happens, frick
I don't think OP's pic is a spoiler. I think its a drawing of something that happened probably about mid way into the manga?
Fricking morons, okay I'll spoil it for u too, frick u, griffin is the lil kid and casca cucks guts and goes with griffin
She is kidnapped bro
the publisher is continuing berserk, they've already put out a few chapters.
gyms are absolutely fricking gay. you people need to home gym. I live in a small southern Ca apartment, but I threw away my couch and now my living room is where I store my barbell/dumbbells and lift whenever I feel like it.
Gyms are soulless and cringe, lift at home and you can do it as you please, when you wish, without the energy of 100 normie homosexuals penetrating your mind every second.
You have depression, and/or low test
You cannot approach lifting as a motivational or spiritual thing. You have to think of it like brushing your teeth. It is just something you have to do regardless of how you feel. Sometimes it will be awesome sometimes it will be boring, but you will do it anyway.
Recently read this chapter. Glad I tried to get into manga this year, because I've loved reading Berserk.
>I also feel entrapped in my own life, almost like lifting isn't really doing anything for me
Lifting won't give you a sense of meaning. You find it in your relationships, passions, and working towards goals. Maybe you've figured this out after reading Berserk. Lifting gave you meaning at the start because you had goals you were working hard towards achieving, but the only thing that can fill the emptiness of having achieved those goals is new goals that you truly want to achieve---if you're asking yourself if there's a point in lifting, do you truly want to achieve your fitness goals? If you've lifted consistently for a couple years, you're probably in good enough shape, and you should work on other things. Reduce time in the gym. Don't let it mentally drain you. Just maintain your weight and your lifts. Leave the comfort of doing the same thing every week. Struggle to achieve those aforementioned sense of meanings. Struggling, in and of itself, is also meaningful.
It is fun, My reason at least
I enjoy the challenge and toughing it out
The intensity, so to speak
If you feel bored with your life then I would try to add more to it
Try a new sport or something, I'm more into individual sports myself (Get to meet people and challenge them)
Just anything to get you out and about is good though
No point in whimpering back and sulking
well would you rather be demotivated or demotivated and jacked?