You can't refute CICO. The same laws of physics that apply to me, apply to you. I will explain it as clearly as I can…
It's really simple: Weight change = calories in - calories out
This equation governs your weight gain or weight loss. It doesn't govern the TYPE of weight, or how healthy you actually are. Those require more dietary depth. The type of weight you gain or lose is governed in part by your macro distribution, because that will impact if it’s muscle or fat. Your overall health requires attention to your micro-nutrient intake.
But overall weight gain or loss is governed by nothing else than CICO. This is why you can gain weight eating “clean” (if you eat only broccoli at a caloric surplus, you will gain weight), and why you can lose weight eating “dirty” (if you eat only McDonalds at a caloric deficit, you will lose weight).
You have some, but not all, control over the CO part of the equation. The part of CO that you can control is your daily activity levels, which affects how many calories you burn, and thus the CO part of the equation.
Yes, there are indeed genetic factors, hormonal factors, medical issues, and unmanageable lifestyle factors that affect the CO side of the equation. This means that there are uncontrollable variations from human to human in CO. A lot of the arguments against CICO highlight this, and in many cases they are correct.
But this doesn't change the law of CICO. At the end of the day, you can ALWAYS control the CI part of the equation. Even if you cry that your CO is higher or lower than is ideal, which can certainly be true, you can always adjust your CI to account for the CO.
In conclusion, I don't care who you are, your weight is 100% in your control. It really is as simple as eating less, or eating more. If it doesn’t work for you, it’s probably because you aren’t tracking your CI correctly. I guarantee that if you tracked them in detail and adjusted them based on your goal, your weight will change.