you found the fitness genie

you have ONE wish
>i wish for weightlifting to count as (good) cardio

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  1. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I wish I had good bodyfat distribution

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      You do, but for the opposite gender.

  2. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I wish my body only required 5-6 hours of sleep a night to be fully rested, energized, and reset to it's optimal condition

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      why not 3 or 4?
      I can understand not wishing to never need sleep 'cause sleeping is comfy

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        I guess that would be better, I just decided on 5-6 because normally I can at least get 5-6 hours a night. I just didn't want to get greedy and have the genie turn my dick into a screaming goat

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Granted, but you will naturally sleep for 8 hours if not woken up so you will naturally always over sleep.

  3. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    i wish to never shit again

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      homie has not read the monkey's paw

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        >ass crack mends together
        "It is done." *poofs away*

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          one step further from the jeets

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      homie has not read the monkey's paw

      >ass crack mends together
      "It is done." *poofs away*

      Moominmaxxing like a mad man.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Granted.
      Digested residue still has to get out somehow, so you now puke it out.

  4. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I wish my arms didn’t hurt when I do stuff with them. RSI sucks.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Your arms fall off. You can do whatever you want with them and it will never hurt.

  5. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I wish to be immune to the negative effects of the sun.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      You are now forever trapped 200 feet underground.

  6. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I wish to make it

  7. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I want to die now. And I want to look jacked in a coffin.

  8. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    More height, make me a giant freak idc no insanely tall man ever went without pussy

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      You are now 100 ft tall. Your body can't even support itself under your weight.

  9. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Genie! I wish there were viable and sound exercises to gain height and dick size!

    Don't think of me as a hero.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Granted, but you don't know what they are and it will be years before someone figures them out.

  10. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Make me 6ft2 idc about the rest genuinely.
    The gym was only there to help me overcome the fact that im 5'9 but that's about it. Getting buff and working a 6 fig engie job in Japan boosted my career but Im eternally a loser back home, whenever I talk to a French girl I have flashbacks of endless rejections during my high school days, even though I can pretty much frick a new girl here every day. I know it's not the same merit. GIVE ME HEIGHT.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Im a 5'10 frenchgay and it has literally never been a problem for me to do the needful
      Skill issue

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Granted, but you gain all the extra height in your neck.

  11. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    i wish for my ideal body

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      The fresh corpse of your ideal body appears in front of you.

  12. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    i wish my body would convert carbs into complete protein until i hit the daily 1g/lb bodyweight meme

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Granted, you are now a deer.

  13. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I wish for infinite gains.

  14. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I wish for unlimited money

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Congratulations. You now have unlimited North Korean wons.

  15. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I wish the weights were heavier

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      They are now 0.00001% heavier.

  16. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I wish all israelites would be shot into the sun, you know for fitness.

  17. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >i wish for immunity to injuries

  18. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I wish I had a hyperbolic time chamber for workouts.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Granted. No caveats here you will just naturally die from the extra gravity and insane weather conditions so it is pretty much worthless.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        But it does stop time, right ? That alone is a great power assuming you don't dial it up to 2x gravity and die on the spot.

  19. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    i wish pullups also gave great legs

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Granted, but now your arms have been replaced with legs and your legs with arms.

  20. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I wish the natty limit was lifted and that recovery time was instant, for all of mankind, also if you get big enough your skeleton grows proportionally to fit more muscle

  21. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I wish for me and all my loved ones, friends and family, to end up doing a routine that keeps them happy and healthy for as long as possible

  22. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I wish quality exercise could prolong MY life indefinitely

  23. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I wish for all my injuries and imbalances to be gone and to remain injury free henceforth regardless of how wild and hard I train.

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