>you wake up in a forest completely naked
>somehow you know you were transported 3000 years in the past around the pontic steppe
>see pic related
>"Sup bro, you're pretty fit wanna join our mannerbund?"
Wat do?
>you wake up in a forest completely naked
That should be around the time of King David. I go join his army and slay the Philistines.
>this is your brain on Christgaygery
>Erm actually everything is a bajillion gorillion years old because a billion different coincidences happened that haven’t happened again and have never been recreated
t. Brainlet with a child-level grasp of science
actually dna is a self-replicating, self-expanding cloud computer network simulating all experiences and overcoming or failing to overcome all physical obstacles and engineering problems available in this universe at a cosmic scale of time where our planet is rather insignificant. earth is simply a packet of data waiting to be merged with a larger body of dna cloud computers elsewhere. so evolution and life are pretty clearly intelligently designed, not much coincidence here.
now, the part the determines whether or not you have schizophrenia is if you think that intelligent design is a white bearded space wizard and his asexually reproduced demigod son in a robe sitting on a glowing cloud somewhere specifically judging earth's life or even slightly interested in earth's outcomes, based on 2000 years of deeply entrenched semitic and abrahmic religious indoctrination - or if you simply accept that there are forces beyond our comprehension and that with humility we can state that there's no way to be confident in the existence of any particular god or creator or designer.
the fact is all life on earth is made up of DNA, which is a living database of simulated experience and darwinist law proving itself. think not in terms of tigers outcompeting deer, think in terms of 2 opposing ideas competing and bouncing new technique and physical adaptation off eachother to reinforce continuous change and acquire new sets of data. all stored forever, even dna in it's failed form survives as it's idea or concept, and can be revived. sentience being a point where DNA becomes aware of itself and begins exponentially accelerating it's learning process in order to validate all the dna learning that's ever taken place on earth, and secure it permanently in the wider dna cloud database elsewhere in the stars.
confidence in any one understanding of your reality is antithetical to the ongoing DNA learning process you are knowingly or otherwise a small, redundant part of.
Did you double up on the adderall today? And did you stay up all night prior to writing this?
Sometimes I forget that I share this board with actually deranged people
This guy has drunk 80% of the scientific kool-aid, and when he starts identifying as DNA-mind personally and then ultimately as the intra-atomic consciousness from which SHe sprang, God will be waiting for hir at the bottom of the cup.
Read the Game of Life by Dr. Timothy Leary or get into Scientology if you want to expand on these ideas rather than trying to conpete with Christians as to who has the "best idea". Protip: they're all true but partial.
checked. saved. thank you for being an exemplary human. you are an inspiration.
>mfw reading this
Why the FRICK would you willingly serve david knowing how he did Uriah?
He did something evil and took responsibility for it. How many tyrants do that? They don't.
>not btfoing David as a third party actor so God doesn't have to keep his covenant to him when he goes into despicable israelite tyrant mode
Big G would probably prevent you from doing so since he's not a cheat but he would appreciate the effort
"Why are you speaking English?" I ask him, in English
"Ayo homie I'm speaking proto-scythian shut yo b***h ass up"
We communicate via telepathy
we are not as we appear, we have simply chosen this form as it will be easier on your human brain
Try to speak some halfassed PIE. Join their hunt, kill a large prey and get blessed with a virgin bride.
This is the gayest larp I've seen in a long time. Very very gay
>muh yamnaya anthestors
They didn't invent writing, they didn't build civilization, they got assimilated to Afro-Semitic culture immediately.
>mannerbund
More like druzhina
It's closer to vedic sanskrit
Nah these Aryans are Centum bros, people who actually achieve things.
Tell them to frick off and go hunt some dinosaur meat
>no bros
>I’m just going to stay here naked and alone in a strange land
moron tier fantasy, they’d just make you a thrall and force you to do all their heavy b***h work
Put on my wolf skin and do the war dance
>You don't know their language
>You are dressed weird
>Nobody knows you
>You're big but have no coordination or skills in warfare
>Your only chance to get out of this situation alive is to win their favour with your charisma and become close with the leader by using your vast well of knowledge
So IST how good are you at communicating with men who speak in a different language and who are judging your value. All eyes are on you, I hopr you broadened your knowledge net as far as possible so that you can be of value.
Enjoy the ensuing pillaging until I die of tetanus after a minor scratch a few years later. Bury me with my sword, bros.
Howl like a wolf
Feel up my face for a hood that isn't there
I can't speak 3000 years ago languages so
Probably a slave now.
> handsome ai cavemen
> asking whether you want to join the group sex
bro are you a woman? or gay perhaps??
why the frick the Pontic Steppe, there's nothing going on there. This looks more like 1000 BC Germania